Do we count our blessings. We have been blessed in so many wonderful ways. There would definitely be the downs too, but aren't they blessings too for a better way of life. The lessons learnt would be invaluable to us in the long run.
If this be so, then why is it that a man/woman is never really happy and contented with the existing state of affairs. Why don't they try to see as to how blessed they are? Its always like this. The creation of a vicious circle in life by the people themselves, that would only make life seem all the more "unblessed". Here, I go on certain incidents in life that I guess is universal.
1. Childhood - a wonderful phase in one's life. Wonderful in its own sweet ways. The closest an individual gets towards counting his blessings. Simple things move the child. It is happy for simple reasons. Simple reasons make it throw tantrums.
2. Adolescent Blues - a confused soul. Wondering as to what he/she would be doing for life. Needs to take those decisions which charts its professional career at a rather tender age. Engineering/Medicine/Commerce/Arts/... It is when he/she starts making those indiscriminate generalizations on one's own capabilities. Also the time when one comes into terms with the process of "growing up".
3. Youth - even more confused. What career option would be the best for him/her? Which would get us more money. How can I be happy? Do I need money or satisfaction or both. Which career would be personally stimulating and satisfying too. Is it all right for me to compromise on my career for money?
The time when he/she starts yearning for the right someone somewhere. A process, a long journey, when the fictitious him/her becomes real. It has its own ups and downs. When it seems that the right life partner, or if I dare say so, the soulmate would make things wonderful.
If this be so, then why is it that a man/woman is never really happy and contented with the existing state of affairs. Why don't they try to see as to how blessed they are? Its always like this. The creation of a vicious circle in life by the people themselves, that would only make life seem all the more "unblessed". Here, I go on certain incidents in life that I guess is universal.
1. Childhood - a wonderful phase in one's life. Wonderful in its own sweet ways. The closest an individual gets towards counting his blessings. Simple things move the child. It is happy for simple reasons. Simple reasons make it throw tantrums.
2. Adolescent Blues - a confused soul. Wondering as to what he/she would be doing for life. Needs to take those decisions which charts its professional career at a rather tender age. Engineering/Medicine/Commerce/Arts/... It is when he/she starts making those indiscriminate generalizations on one's own capabilities. Also the time when one comes into terms with the process of "growing up".
3. Youth - even more confused. What career option would be the best for him/her? Which would get us more money. How can I be happy? Do I need money or satisfaction or both. Which career would be personally stimulating and satisfying too. Is it all right for me to compromise on my career for money?
The time when he/she starts yearning for the right someone somewhere. A process, a long journey, when the fictitious him/her becomes real. It has its own ups and downs. When it seems that the right life partner, or if I dare say so, the soulmate would make things wonderful.
One must indeed realise that it doesnt take long for the right person to become right or wrong. It is all in the mind. One must nevertheless, be willing, to overlook the negatives in the right person. As long as there is respect and love, I guess it is all fine.
4. A new beginning - The person is no longer alone. He is with her and she is with him. They embark on a new journey together, full of dreams, romance, aspirations, and what not. Sadly, in most cases, the honeymoon period is very short. Once, they begin to live together, the other's faults seem to be unbearable. Responsibilites of parenthood, stability in career, disillusions in romance, etc. seem to bother them a lot.
5. Mid-age - seemingly crisis prone. All those dreams of youth lying unrealised and sacrificed for the family's interests. Disenchantment sets in. The soulmate is no longer the soulmate. The relationship has become more of a marriage of convenience for them. It is more for the sake of their children and society. Romance is gone. Yet, the society thinks that they make a wonderful couple and is envious of them.
6. Retirement Blues - the world thinks that you are no longer fit to do work. People take it real hard. Infact, it is one of the most blessed states in one's life. They can do whatever they want to during that time. The children have gone away. Now, it boils down to the stage in life where the significant other is more of an acquaintance. They seldom talk to each other. Every point of discussion ultimately leads to what happened in the past and fights. Fights can be romantic. But then, fighting daily over seemingly mundane happenings of the past is totally unromantic.
7. Old age - they are all alone. The children are well-to-do. The parents have been successful on that count. Yet, they are failures. The love is lost. They love their children so much that they would never blame them. They would blame themselves. The children would make it a point to call them up once in a while. The parents survive on their savings, if any. They yearn for the company of their grand-children. Yet, they are deprived of the same because of a MIL-DIL problem or the arrogant SonIL or because the children are abroad . Finally, they die a peaceful death in their sleep or a violent death because of some fatal disease.
So, life does seem to be cruel, right? Where, each phase, seems to be confusing, hazy, disenchanting, tortuous, what not? There is no concept of settling down to a better way of life. The mistake lies with us. We need to count our blessings and learn to accept things as they are now. Further, we need to be grateful for our upbringing, our parents, our family, our friends, our education, our downs for the lessons, our share of ups, everything. Yearning for a better way of life would be at the cost of losing out on the present important days of our lives.
PS: Well, the author has given the worst possible scenarios in each phase. It might not be so. But then, it might very well be a reality too. None of the events are real. They have been weaved in the mind of the author to hopefully drive the point home. The author must admit, that he is not immune to the ways of the vicious circle. However, in the best interests of the readers and himself, it is but natural to sermonize; with the hope that we never get deeply entangled in the vicious circle of life that there is no way out.
PS2: If some instances do touch a raw nerve, then it can be safely assumed that we are not heartless. No one would love to get ensnared in this circle where life becomes a struggle. Let us hope for the best for all.
6 comments:
"Yearning for a better way of life would be at the cost of losing out on the present important days of our lives."
Its all in the mind really. If the mind feels that the time lost today
in striving for a better tomorrow would never come back, it would be
wise to heed the mind's advice and prevent regret and disenchantment in later
years.Being mentally happy is completely in our hands. It is what we think
that makes us happy or sad. If we think that our efforts today would bring
a better tommorrow ,often that thought alone is enough to keep us motivated and happy.You have brought up a very sensetive issue here and i am afraid its difficult to know all the answers right away....
Saurav: Well, the way I look at it is, too much of delving into the future could make you miss out on the present. Agreed, that you need to be futuristic to chart your life, but then, that should never be at the cost of talking ill of the present and not counting your blessings.
I know it is very very sensitive.. and each is entitled to one's own opinion/belief. But then, let us pray that we are not unwillingly coerced into what i call... the ensnaring web of life.
Life should be beautiful, come what may. The onus lies on us, and on us alone.
Hi there,
Appreciate your sensitivity..... but this sounds a bit pessimistic..
Read Shakespeare's "the seven ages"? Heres it:
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms;
Then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lin'd,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well sav'd a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans every thing.
Very well written....and thnx for commenting on my blog.
Priyanka: Thanks for the comment. I had kept the poem in mind. You can notice the 7 stages here too.
I was intentionally pessimistic. If we are not careful, and dont seem to be doing anything about the present way of life in the name of seeking a better way of life, we might very well end up that way.
Sometimes, the knowledge of the worst that can happen to us can make us lead a better life. Atleast, then, we wouldnt be heartless.
Life here in the US for an Indian grad student is like this..
-- F1 Visa
-- MS
-- Job
-- H1B
-- High pay
-- Car, materialistic goodies
-- Marriage
-- Home (rather a mansion)
-- Green card
-- ABCD children
-- A nagging emptiness somewhere deep inside partially offset by the "better way of life"
-- so on..
is there ever an end to this vicious circle. where, one always seems to want something "higher"
and is never happy with the present way of life.
well, this is not to exclude the Indians in India too.. and for matter, any one else. The facts of life are universal.
I was in two minds to write about this .. then, I gave in. I just hope that none has a life like those last 5 stages.
hey ranga,
everywhere, i have made a new beginning man.
everytime, i thought this is it.
life is searching still. for bliss. for realisation. for truth.
i'll never know, i think. what is ignorance, what is knowledge and what is bliss?
because the more i know, the more i know that the less i know. so where do we stand?
abhi: its hard to improve upon perfection. so how can one be perfect?
all the very best in your journey called life.
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