Love...

This post is dedicated to Jason Cooney, Tara Hussey, John Gronnel, Vicki Varela and the other survivors who are true intrepid fighters. Also, written in memory of the angels.

Love, one of the most exalted of all emotions, has always been an enigma for the author. Wherever you go, love is the most potent force in this planet. A beautiful thing, that finds itself manifesting in a myriad of ways. The love of a child for its mother, the mother's love for the child, the love between father and son, the love between siblings, the love between friends, the love between a man and a woman, and what not. What exactly is love; and can it be defined, if at all. Well, even the very thought of definition of love sounds so crass and vulgar. However, the exact purpose of this post, is not to delve into love, but to celebrate the true victory of love, which was very evident during the author's first marathon with the TEAM in training.

The TEAM in training, is the largest endurance sports training program in the world. It is a part of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, whose mission is to fund research to fight blood cancers and to improve the quality of life of the patients and its families. The unique feature about TNT is that, they accept and train people, of various fitness levels and all shapes and sizes, and get them across the finish line, in return for the fundraising, that goes towards fulfilling the Society's mission. The strong motivation for this otherwise rare and dream-like goal of an endurance event for the participants comes from the heroes battling with these dreaded cancers: both, survivors and angels.

In the moment of gloom, when one of their near and dear ones is fighting with cancer, the patient and their family choose hope over despair, with the hope that the cure can be found so that no child or adult along with its family has to undergo the pain of anything and everything associated with cancer. The author has come across quite a few inspirational people, who train themselves for endurance events, battling their own aches and pains, all for love. Like they say, "26.2 miles is nothing when compared to chemotherapy". The author did the P F Chang's Full Marathon, recently, and out there, was the true picture of USA. It was a purple movement, that didn't really care about the red and the blue; and for that matter, the white, the brown and the black.

So many runners/walkers/runners-walkers/walkers-runners, including survivors, were battling against their bodies to complete the full marathon in honor of their beloved survivors and angels. They were the "elitest of the elite" athletes. Outside the course of the run, and without their purple TNT singlets, you wouldn't even think for once, despite, batting your eyelids so many times, that they are the proud marathoners. That's what love does to you. This is a wonderful victory for love. A true celebration of life. The author considers himself highly blessed to have seen this all in live action. Now he is able to comprehend this enigmatic and wonderful love better. Go TEAM!!!

Associative Nostalgia - IV ... Shoes.

The pristine innocence of childhood makes one derive happiness and joy from the simplest of things. How the world would become an even more wonderful place to be in, all because the child got a new shoe. Be it the "naughty boy/girl" series from Bata (with their ***.95 pricings), a pair of simple canvas shoes, colorful floaters/sandals, the universal hawaii chappals, or the highly sophisticated "Made in South Asia" products of the big brands - Nike, Reebok, Adidas, etc; well, it doesn't really matter.

How often would you have wanted a new shoe, a different kind of shoe, simply by watching what other people wore? At an age, when we often do not want to get into an another person's shoes, the personal desire or craving for the shoe does often get sadly unnoticed by the parents. In some cases, even if it does get noticed by the parents, the proposal is brutally rejected with the quaint excuse, "You are taking very good care of your shoes. They should easily last one more year". This would and should encourage you to not take very good care of your shoes. Why foolishly wait for one more year because you are being well-mannered? It is simply not worth it.

But then, this new dash of recklessness with the shoe does get noticed. You would be reprimanded for not taking proper care of the shoes. This would be followed by a generalization on the present generation of kids, as to how they have no value for money, how the parents were not like that when they were kids, how tough it used to be in those days to even have a pair of dresses, etc. The child is no doubt helplessly bewildered. Either of its ways has no appeal for the parents; and the new shoe being showcased in the shop across the corner, a sacred place of daily visit, would be sadly and painfully lying there unappreciated.

Days of tantrums finally give way to the ultimate purchase of the shoe. The child proudly goes to the "shop" with its parents. Its eyes would proclaim to the world - "Look, I am going to be the emperor of all that I survey. I am going to get the shoe that I have been wanting all along". All those procedures of buying the right size, trying in a varied set of shoes, going for a short walk within the shop on the new shoe, having a tough time deciding between two equally appealing ones, would make the child be supremely happy. Finally, "All is well that ends well", says the child to its parents with that naughty mischievous smile.

One often wonders, where in the long process of "growing up", does this innocence get lost. Life was far less complicated those days. Or rather, do we tend to make life more complicated as we grow up.

PS: The readers are recommended to view this movie by Majid Majidi, "Children of Heaven", which is a wonderful tale woven about a shoe and the brother-sister duo.

The sense of touch....

Have you ever wondered about the importance of the sense of touch in our lives? How many times would you feel uncomfortable when someone crosses the limits of personal space and gets physically close to you? Your personal space is something that you treasure a lot. And, you allow only a few people in your life to violate the sacred territory.

Be it the mother suckling her baby, the child sleeping with its parents, the man and woman walking hand in hand, a casual handshake between acquaintances, a warm hug between two very good friends, your guru/elder blessing you, the sense of touch plays a very important role.

I happened to gently and affectionately stroke the very same cat in this post, and it responded by stroking my toe. It felt more secure; and to be honest from my side, it felt nice to be trusted by this cat. The sense of touch and the feeling of warmth and security is truly universal.

The Bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki....

Please do not be surprised with this seeping in of a post with heavy political overtones. The thought for this post came up after a discussion over lunch with my American colleagues.

Imagine this.

You are a young child, say a teenager. You have a debate at school. You are asked to defend the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki on a purely rational basis. What would you do?

Having been brought up in India, this same topic would have assumed an altogether different angle. What makes it harder for the American children, is their need to justify the savage act of their previous generations. The war reached such horrendous proportions, that at that point of time, hurting the enemy in any manner was an acceptable solution.

How would a German justify what the Nazi's did to the Jews. How would a Spaniard/Portuguese justify the horrendous acts of his/her forefathers with the rape of Latin America. How would a Japanese justify the rape of China? How would one justify the aftermath of the Partition of India? How would one justify the slavery and harsh treatment meted out towards Africa? Infact, how can anyone justify the acts of the imperialists, dictators and terrorists?

Well, no justifications, whatsoever. Have you ever thought of this? The world has never been peaceful. There has always been a simmer of discontent, violence and war. It is no different now from what it had been all this while.

We need to find that peace and harmony amidst all chaos.

The Importance of Sinning....

How does one know what to avoid without getting burnt once?

From the lust, dawns the love.

From laziness, comes the dynamism.

From the profane, comes the sacred.

From the cynic, comes the sensitive soul.

From the rejection of the self, comes the acceptance of the self.

From the base metals, comes the gold.

From the pain, comes the ecstacy.

From the impure, comes the pure.

From the sin, emerges the virtue.

The circle of life - a complete circle.

PS: Getting burnt is a process in itself.

One need not stop with just one experience.

Not all experiences are the same.

We just get cooked better the next time.

The lonely crusader....

We are all alone in this journey called life, seeking answers to our very own questions. At times the questions themselves change. However, the answers are never the same at any point of time. Every person's experiences are unique and each face has a story to tell worthy of respect. No matter what the connectivity is between two souls, it is indeed difficult to share happiness and pain of a person. No one can truly share both of them. A harsh statement but perfectly true in almost every sense.

Important people at times cause hurt in our lives because of this very expectation from them - that they can and should share our happiness and pain. Deep down, that expectation is there. It is best not to expect anything from anyone; no matter how special or important they might be in our lives. I suppose this approach would work out the healthiest in all relationships - be it between mother and son, father and daughter, sister and brother, friend and a friend, soulmates(?), husband and wife, and what not.

Solitude becomes the most cherished, and yet painful possession for all of us. Yes, we are all alone! Our experiences are limited and what the important people in our lives can do for us is also limited. The same holds for what we can do for them. However, the joy of living is a blessing, and it is our foremost and the most important reason for existence. This is not being selfish. If we are happy, people in our lives are also happy. As Paulo says in his book, "By the River Piedra, I sat down and wept",

"Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest. Our magic moment helps us to change and send us off in search of our dreams. Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments - but all of this is transitory; it leaves no permanent remark. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken."

Human Relationships....

How many of us are sensitive to the people around us?

How many of us celebrate the successes of the other?

How many of us are able to share the pain of the other?

How many of us forgive the other for all of his/her faults?

A special thanks to all the people in my life, who made me realise the importance and value of human relationships, in their own sweet little ways.

All you need is Love....

The world moves around on the basis of love. Love of various kinds. Love between a mother and a child, a father and a child, a sister and a brother (and other associated types), a friend and a friend, a person and his/her passions, self-love, a person and his teacher, a teacher and his disciple, and the last,.... but definitely not the least - and the least understood and most devastatingly beautiful of them all - yes, the love between a man and a woman. It merits mention that each is beautiful in its own way and that all kinds of love provide the basic reason for sustenance and existence.

What surprises the author is the presence of this red-letter day, known as Valentines Day and the hype around it. The crass commercialization and vulgar manifestation of present day romance will definitely shock the purists (not necessarily the RSS/Shiv Sena). Media advertisements, Special offers for sale, materialization of love courtesy the numerous gifts available around, make the world believe that it is this day or never. How many of us truly understand what love is? Love - the oldest and most sublime of all emotions.

Just imagine how love has continued to exist in this world. Love for one's own well-being lead to many wars. Love for the people in one's life made the man/woman behave in highly selfish ways. Imagine the music around in this world - the love ballads, the yearnings for love, the songs of the so-called loser, etc. For that matter, Hindustani music is entirely based on love and romance. The concept of Raagas and Raaginis embellishes the concept of love and all the associated emotions of yearning, hurt, despair, pain, frustration, bliss, tranquillity, pathos, heroism, joy, etc.

For the people in love, all the very best for making the relationship more meaningful and beautiful. For the people trying to understand what love is, all the very best in this journey. For the people hurt in love, all the very best for everything. Lastly, I would like to conclude with this quote of Richard Bach

"We are the bridge across forever, arching above the sea, adventuring for our pleasure, living mysteries for the fun of it, choosing disasters, triumphs, challenges, impossible odds, testing ourselves over and over again, learning love, love and LOVE".

PS: This post is dedicated to my very good friend Saurav, for urging me to write more frequently.

PS2: The topic chosen is primarily and entirely due to the occassion of Feb 14.

Circle of Life...

Have you ever wondered about the important people in your circle of life? How many such people exist in your life who have given you the liberty to love and hurt too? How many people come to your help in times of desperate need, no matter what? How many people exist in the world who celebrate your life along with that of theirs? (A world where your successes mean a lot to them and who are truly, madly and deeply happy for you because it is you). How many people can share and experience your pain? I am sure that there must be a very very small number of people in your circle of life who are the answers to the above questions.

Yes, we are like that. We open up to only a certain few. We have our own deep secrets, worries, frustrations, dreams, desires, fetishes, that only a few are aware of. In some cases, no one knows what is happening deep inside. Why, not even the body, mind and heart of a person knows what its soul is undergoing? There are some people who have crossed that threshold of trust. Yet, there are some who misuse that trust. Ironically, the capacity to hurt in the domains of space and time when it would hurt the most is subconsciously given by us.

Why are we like this? What stops us from being an open book? Why is our soul a precious commodity to be shared only with another soul, who importantly understands more than appreciates. Do soulmates exist. Isn't it foolish to believe in that one person who is the answer to our very own life? Is there only one person who provides that answer? How can we make such dramatic acknowledgements when we all live in a world of limited experience. Let us forget the supreme concept of a soulmate for the moment.

Consider our friends. Don't we discriminate between them? How can we again, make the claim of a few understanding us, when in fact, we know not much about the umpteen acquaintances in our lives? What stops us from making friends out of acquaintances. Relationships progress to beautiful stages when there is a mutual disclosure of thoughts, ideas and opinions. Yet, we have only a limited set of relationships and experiences. Nevertheless, the circle of life is complete by itself (thankfully!), no matter how small or big it might be.

PS1: This post is dedicated to all the arcs in my circle of life; agreed a limited number. Nevertheless, a circle is the perfect epitome of the concept of infinity.

PS2: Ideas borrowed from varied sources, ranging from contemporary "spiritually-inclined" authors to interpretations of the ancient scriptures. We are the answers to our very own questions called life. Here's wishing all the very best to everyone in his/her journey called life.... and in his/her quest towards the meaning of life.

PS3: I have freely used the word "soul".. I must admit, that I do not know much about it. Further, I must admit that I do not have any answers to the questions posed above. :)

PS4: When the author means "you, us, we, ...", it includes me.

PS5: Likewise, I am sure that there must be a very very small number of people who would include us in their circle of lives.

Alma Mater...

I dedicate this blog to one of my very good friends, :);)\!*, who happens to be an IITian, and who is currently undergoing the blues of separation from one's alma mater.

Before you proceed, let me acknowledge the triumph of sanity over anger; and the victory of the good over the evil forces. May the force be with all of us. :)

______

Well, I unfortunately joined the "BITSAT vs IIT-JEE" community in orkut 15 minutes back. The seemingly hopeless and pointless discussions that followed there made my blood boil. I am a proud BITSian; and vanity happens to be my favourite sin too. I would consider BITS to be the haven on earth. Well, I am free to think what I want, right. I would definitely not like any Tom, Dick and Harry disrespecting my mother - alma mater without knowing her, her love for her children, etc. The least I can do is to write this article. In case I have offended the ones under target, I shamelessly would not apologise for that. However, I do respect the IITs..and her right-minded, right-thinking (no political overtones intended) IITians. Lastly, this is definitely not a case of grapes having gone sour.

What prompted me to write this article, was the lack of humility among certain people. I don't want to point fingers at any one. I personally know of many IITians and BITSians, some really close, and from what I know of them, they are the perfect gems that you can find in any friend or person. Their humility, zeal for life, passion for what they do, etc., has often been a source of inspiration to me. But then, there are certain people who infact debase themselves courtesy their unwanted/excessive pride to the absurd heights of vulgar marketing of supposedly their own "intelligence". I guess, only, empty vessels make more noise. People who really have the right stuff inside them pursue their destiny in silence. Period.

Btw, does it make sense to think about the IITs and BITS alone when it comes to college undergraduate education? What about other colleges? Well, from my personal experience, it doesn't really matter as to where one is from. It rightly depends on the individual and the individual alone. Trumpeting your own trumpet or living under the illusions/delusions of being geniuses amounts to slandering the pure institution of a mother. It doesn't speak good about a person and more importantly about his/her alma mater. More often than not, she moulds us in more ways than one.

We are given the most important lessons in life, straight from a loving mother's mouth, and I am sure those lessons would be for life. Where we are taught to live by ourselves, where we are fortunately/unfortunately forced to learn to live with the same set of people, where heady independence is provided to let one chart one's own destiny, where the world is that small place, etc. And since all educational institutions are the places of learning the intricacies of life, both academic and non-academic, it does seem reasonable to respect all of them.

From the author's personal experience with himself and with many of his friends and acquaintances, the unshaken and unquestionable fact is the love of the alma mater for her children and vice-versa. Most people become dangerously attached to her - she lovingly fondles, embraces and cherishes your presence for 4-5 years - the most important phase in one's life - the transition from angry adolescence to mature youth. When we think that everthing is perfect, nothing else can be better, where the present way of life seems to be the best possible, where friends are selected with care, then, all of a sudden, she betrays you. Or rather her genuine love, care and concern force her to violently throw out her child from her circle of concern and influence. Needless to say, the lessons learnt from her would be permanent and the friends made there would become friends for life. So, does it matter if she happens to be an IIT or a BITS or any other place? It is just the beautiful, wonderful, harmonious relationship between the individual and the alma mater that truly, madly and deeply matters. Nothing else matters.

I bow down in deep reverence, love and gratitude to my beloved mother - my alma mater - the ONE with a myriad of manifestations. It is time we all learnt to accept, love and respect her in all of her manifestations.

Vande Maataram!