Respect and Love....

Have you ever wondered about the relationships that are special to you. What sets them apart is the presence of both respect and love for the other person. Respect provides the much needed distance while love bridges upon the very same distance. A case of distanced closeness.

The most important of all relationships is the relationship with the self. We could love our own self, forgetting all our faults. But then, respect for our own self would definitely be lacking. It would be our earnest endeavor to respect and love ourselves. And one of the most difficult tasks at hand in this endeavor is forgiveness of the self.

Thus, the presence of both respect and love, makes the relationship all the more special and meaningful. Even if one of them is lacking, the relationship suffers heavily. Respect without love and love without respect doesn't make sense at all. Respect and love - the two complementary positive opposites need to co-exist in harmony.

Associative Nostalgia - IV ... Shoes.

The pristine innocence of childhood makes one derive happiness and joy from the simplest of things. How the world would become an even more wonderful place to be in, all because the child got a new shoe. Be it the "naughty boy/girl" series from Bata (with their ***.95 pricings), a pair of simple canvas shoes, colorful floaters/sandals, the universal hawaii chappals, or the highly sophisticated "Made in South Asia" products of the big brands - Nike, Reebok, Adidas, etc; well, it doesn't really matter.

How often would you have wanted a new shoe, a different kind of shoe, simply by watching what other people wore? At an age, when we often do not want to get into an another person's shoes, the personal desire or craving for the shoe does often get sadly unnoticed by the parents. In some cases, even if it does get noticed by the parents, the proposal is brutally rejected with the quaint excuse, "You are taking very good care of your shoes. They should easily last one more year". This would and should encourage you to not take very good care of your shoes. Why foolishly wait for one more year because you are being well-mannered? It is simply not worth it.

But then, this new dash of recklessness with the shoe does get noticed. You would be reprimanded for not taking proper care of the shoes. This would be followed by a generalization on the present generation of kids, as to how they have no value for money, how the parents were not like that when they were kids, how tough it used to be in those days to even have a pair of dresses, etc. The child is no doubt helplessly bewildered. Either of its ways has no appeal for the parents; and the new shoe being showcased in the shop across the corner, a sacred place of daily visit, would be sadly and painfully lying there unappreciated.

Days of tantrums finally give way to the ultimate purchase of the shoe. The child proudly goes to the "shop" with its parents. Its eyes would proclaim to the world - "Look, I am going to be the emperor of all that I survey. I am going to get the shoe that I have been wanting all along". All those procedures of buying the right size, trying in a varied set of shoes, going for a short walk within the shop on the new shoe, having a tough time deciding between two equally appealing ones, would make the child be supremely happy. Finally, "All is well that ends well", says the child to its parents with that naughty mischievous smile.

One often wonders, where in the long process of "growing up", does this innocence get lost. Life was far less complicated those days. Or rather, do we tend to make life more complicated as we grow up.

PS: The readers are recommended to view this movie by Majid Majidi, "Children of Heaven", which is a wonderful tale woven about a shoe and the brother-sister duo.

The walk of life... Revisited.

May 13, 2006 : A red-letter day for some, including the author. The day arrived. The culmination of a 3 year affair with my alma mater and the transition from a student to alumnus happened on that day. A member of the Aggie family for life.

This being the first convocation in my life, (courtesy my undergrad school that believed in shipping the degree by registered post to be more practical due to whatever practical reasons); it was a fabulous experience. Here, was celebration of life and success in everyone at its pristine best.

Cheered by an audience amounting to 40,000+, inspired by the smiles in many fellow graduates, and awed by the dazzling regalia on display, this occasion would be an occasion to remember for the entire lifetime.

The key note of the convocation speech was "Things do get better eventually. However, they do not happen automatically without any effort from our side". There was a time, when this day was a mere illusion and a mirage. Things did get better with time, and I finally managed to encounter the oasis in this journey across the desert, in my search for water.

Some of my friends were able to make it for my convocation too, and make the event more special. A special thanks to one and all. It would be blasphemous to discriminate between my friends.

The dawn of a new day gives birth to a new hope and a new beginning.

PS: Not so long ago, my experience as an awed spectator can be found here.

Mother's Day Special.

The author was treated to a concert, that could be considered a fitting tribute to all mothers at Houston this Sunday. The artistes for the evening were Dr. N Rajam, her daughter Dr. Sangeetha Shankar and her grand-daughters Ragini and Nandini. We were treated to some soulful music from the bowed violins of these artists in the Hindustani style.

The two children were highly enthusiastic and played Rag Jog for us. Having been brought up on a staple food of Indian Classical Music, their performance would have made both the mothers proud. However, they being the guru's too, their recital would have invoked a few constructive criticisms too, for their improvement.

Does being a member of a musical family help. Needless to say, it was really delightful to see the three generations of artistes playing the violin. The stamp of the guru was unmistakable in the shishyas. Dr. N Rajam must be one of the most successful mothers in her own right in the world. Her legendary legacy would continue with her daughters (in contrast to the usual paternal gharana system).

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers in the world. They are veritably different manifestations of Mother Goddess.

The sense of touch....

Have you ever wondered about the importance of the sense of touch in our lives? How many times would you feel uncomfortable when someone crosses the limits of personal space and gets physically close to you? Your personal space is something that you treasure a lot. And, you allow only a few people in your life to violate the sacred territory.

Be it the mother suckling her baby, the child sleeping with its parents, the man and woman walking hand in hand, a casual handshake between acquaintances, a warm hug between two very good friends, your guru/elder blessing you, the sense of touch plays a very important role.

I happened to gently and affectionately stroke the very same cat in this post, and it responded by stroking my toe. It felt more secure; and to be honest from my side, it felt nice to be trusted by this cat. The sense of touch and the feeling of warmth and security is truly universal.

People Watching.....

Most people indulge in this very engaging, enriching and at times, titillating activity. Be it the public transport, the office, the school, the recreation center, the places of worship, the coffee shops, the restaurants, the car, whatever. It need not necessarily be limited to what is termed "sighting" or to put it more forcefully, letching. We can learn a lot about human behavior, interactions and relationships by just watching people. For a moment, forgetting all our worries and reasons for happiness, we take the roles of people we shamelessly watch.

Some interesting examples, that come to the author's immediate notice, are given below; in no particular preference or sequence. All of them are from the USA due to their recent nature of occurrences. This is not meant to serve as an indicator about the American culture or Americanness. The examples are cited with a pure innocuous intention. A second article on Indian experiences would be posted sometime.

#1. 6th St. and Cedar St. Bus Stop, St. Paul, MN, USA

An Afro-American girl, barely 15 years of age, dressed in a hip fashion (vulgar and unbecoming of such a tender age), smoking a cigar and puffing her way to whatever insane glory.

#2. 5th St. and Minnesota St. Bus Stop, St. Paul, MN, USA

A young couple, anywhere between 15-17, lustily kissing and eating each other's mouths in public. She looks down there at him, and teasingly calls him "retarded". Open use of abusive language, commenting on others, making fun of others, rampant "liberalism"

#3. Starbucks Coffee, San Rafael, CA, USA

A lady reading a big fat book, A boy solving a crossword game, A man working on his laptop, An old man making a move with a relatively young girl, fit enough, to be his daughter or even grand-daughter. A guy playing the guitar outside the shop; with a few interested onlookers.

#4. Starbucks Coffee, Cottage Grove, MN, USA

An old couple (70+), having a wonderful conversation over a cup of coffee. Love is evident in the air and their eyes convey everything. Highly encouraging.

#5. Bike trail, Cottage Grove, MN, USA

A family of four, husband, wife, and two cute children, riding on four bikes, one behind the another, having a high quality recreative time spent with their loved ones.

#6. Lawns, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX, USA

The dawn of summer brings out the best in the women of College Station. Sporting bikinis and leisurely reading stuff, lying totally "laid-front" on the ground. Enough to attract the attention of of many a roving and lustful eye.

#7. North gate pub, College Station, TX, USA

Noise blaring in the background. People on the process of getting drunk. Some tend to get physically intimate, oblivious of the surroundings. People trying to have conversations. Smoke and alcohol provide a not-so comfortable environment for a non-smoker and a non-drinker.

#8. Sweet Eugene's, A coffee shop, College Station, TX, USA

A group of four girls, playing Scrabble over coffee.

#9. Recreation Center, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX, USA

A feast for the eyes for many guys, including the author. Their dedication to the maintenance of their body structure deserves genuine appreciation.

#10. Sbisa Dining Center, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX, USA

A young Hispanic girl (10-13), glued to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, completely oblivious of the surroundings.

#11. Red Hot Jazz Cafe, Houston, TX, USA

People, majority Afro-Americans, having dinner with amazing live jazz performances. Amazing peaceful easy feeling. Harmony is in the air.

#12. Joe Satriani Concert, Dallas, TX, USA

A group of people, sporting "black" paraphernalia, tattoed arms, hips, stomachs, belly-rings and rings in so many different and interesting places, totally stoned with drugs, fag and booze. Listening dangerously close (atleast their ears) to heavy metal high volume music, during the breaks.

#13. River Walk, San Antonio, TX, USA

Couples craving for privacy in supposedly one of the most romantic places in the US. Ironically, crowded with so many like-minded couples.

.... and so on.

Humility....

There are some good things in life that would be a conquest for the entire lifetime. Humility is one of them. The author has seen so many shades of humility in people. Genuine humility, a superficial layered humility, humility to the point of arrogance, and extreme vanity. Being genuinely humble, would be the conquest for life.

The most dangerous of the four forms is humility to the point of arrogance. One tends to get complacent, forget the difficult times, not count the blessings, and become arrogantly humble. In this case, there is that heavy layer of hypocrisy involved. Naturally, it is more depracating than the case of extreme vanity. Atleast, people are being honest to themselves then.

So, when you do think that you have done something great or have every reason to be arrogant, but are not doing so, to be in the good books of people, think deep down. Realise the insignificance of the self. Realise the importance of being honest and scrupulous. Coming to terms with your own horrendous self can be the most difficult task at hand.

Of Cats and Dogs....

This post is drawn from a personal experience of mine and is about a cat and a dog. Their interactions remind me of sibling rivalry or those moments of feeling usurped by the new entrant into the family. It all began like this.

The cat was the queen of the house. The entire house was her territory. Oh! boy, she did have an amazing time, running here and there, up and down, over the fridge, the wooden cabinets, etc. A very friendly cat.

Then, a dog (a few months old) was brought into the house. They were to share the same territory. The cat was forgotten but for the occassional "how are you doing". The dog is currently being pampered with daily evening walks and is allowed to sleep in the master's bedroom. And, when the two of them are together, let loose, the cat's superiority is gone. The dog chases the cat and frightens her to the hilt. Sadistic pleasure at the plight of the cat by the dog is rampantly obvious.

I guess all this is pretty natural. But then, what shocks me, are the eyes of the cat. The happiness is gone. She is sad. When the dog goes out for a walk with her master, the cat's eyes make that desperate plea. She is silent these days. No longer does she run around the house. She simply sits in the sofa, mourning. I really feel sorry for her. But then, as always, she needs to learn to share and the younger sibling, the dog, needs to accomodate her too.

Emotions are truly universal.

PS: I being, a paying guest in the house, cannot do much. However, I would like to dedicate this post to that cat.

Human Relationships... Revisited.

This post is dedicated to Hesam, and a few others, for providing me with important lessons.

Human relationships, an enigma and a long journey for life. At the very outset, the author clarifies that relationships do NOT necessarily mean only those of a romantic nature. It doesn't mean anything. Have you ever wondered about the people in your circle of life? What makes them special and what makes them different from the numerous acquaintances in your life?

Do you have people in your life who would do "anything" for you, because you are you. What moves the world? What makes people be there for you in those moments of despair, frustration, joy, bliss and overwhelming happiness? It is an altogether different issue that no one can truly share one's happiness and sorrows, due to the limited experiences and abilities to empathise.

If you look at it, there are so many different kinds of human relationships and interactions. However, two broad classifications do exist.

#1. Divine incarnates

These people are the guardians of our life. They love us deeply for what we are. Our happiness matters most to them. They are there, everytime, we need them. They do their best in ensuring the well-ness of our being. They do not mind "giving" all the time. They never let us be alone. Their prayers, wishes, blessings, are always with us. If you look back, we cannot "give" anything in return to compensate in even a small "unvulgar" manner their magnanimous gestures. It is like a bonding for life and they are veritably incarnations of the divine or energy or vibrations or the hidden hand or the force.

The people in these classification would be the Divine itself, our guru's, our parents, our siblings, and all our teachers. Often, in these relationships, since we keep "taking" all the time, we can but hope to give our respect, gratitude and love to them. For e.g., what does a guru do to you? He/she helps you in your journey, by giving you all that he/she has. The only thing he/she expects is that you do not misuse the invaluable lessons. I bow down to all of them.

#2 An eye for an eye

Mahatma Gandhi, the father of the Indian nation, had once said, "If everyone were to practice an eye for an eye, then there would be no more eyes in the world." He had meant it at the macroscopic level of a nation, and it was more negative because of the varied killings in the name of hatred. But the author has firmly come to believe in this theory, so very well expounded by my dear friend Hesam, at the micrsoscopic level of the self.

When it comes to relationships, that are not in #1, it has to be this way. He calls it the 50% rule. Some say it is like a bank deposit (where you can withdraw only after you deposit). My guru calls it the feedback rule (positive feedback attracts positive, negative feedback attracts negative, a case of like attracts like). The author calls it an eye for an eye. The crux is the same.

Just like two hands need to clap, two souls need to sustain the relationship. Both need to evince an interest in maintaining it. As long as there is mutual respect and affection, it should be fine. Most relationships stand the test of the time, when the two people are physically apart. The big question is "Can you still be friends for life with them". As a simple case, how would it be when you keep calling the other person all the time, and not receive any from him/her. Extend this case to emails and all kinds of informal/formal communications.

Look at the people in your life. Count them. You would be shocked to know as to how small a number that can be. My dear friend, count your blessings and do everything possible to maintain the relationship. If you need to call, then go ahead and call them up. A friendly "hope all is fine with you" email can do wonders. Be there, as that support and that shoulder to lean upon when they need you. Leave them as they are. If they are having a great time, then try to share their happiness. If they are having a bad time, then be a patient listener and try to empathise.

PS: I know that there are so many books on personal relationships. However, you never really get to understand them, until you experience them in your own special ways, do you?

PS2: I have been so lax and negligent when it comes to sustaining relationships. Even though my wishes would be with them, I would never wish them. I have a lot to learn when it comes to human relationships. Thank you, appa; for always driving this point in.

PS3: I do not know as to where the concept of a soulmate or life-partner fits in. When the time comes to cross the bridge across forever, it shall be done.

Libraries...

This post is dedicated to all the libraries that have been there for me. Be it, a small room with an old man keeping track of old books in Madurai, the Murugan Lending Library of Adyar, Madras fame, the umpteen school libraries, BITS, TAMU, and now the Cottage Grove Public Library.

#1. Have you ever got lost in a library, bewildered at the assortment of books around?

#2. Have you ever picked a book, totally on an impulse, and ended up not reading it too?

#3. Have you ever experienced the excitement of a child when you come across a book you have been wanting to read all along?

#4. Have you ever wondered as to how life would be without libraries?

#5. Have you ever thought as to which option would be better - selfishly owning a few books, or, having a book be embraced and experienced by many more readers, courtesy a library?

Americanness I - Coffee...

A series of posts - complementary to the Indianness articles, about life in America. Does the concept Americanness exist.

I must admit when it comes to my ignorance about the delights of various types of coffee. Having been brought up in a family with "filter coffee" as the norm, all these talks of cappuccino, frappuccino, latte, mocha, machiato, espresso, and the likes were confusing. There was that fear of public ridicule for not knowing the basic stuff about coffee. Heeding the recommendations of friends, willingness and daringness to try out new varieties, prompted me to simply go ahead and give them all a sip.

Starbucks, with its presence everywhere, in the US was, is and would be the experiment station. This is not to mean that India wouldn't have offered me the means to sample such varieties at Barista's and Coffee Day outlets. Let it suffice, that the author was not in a position to experiment then. Since the experiments are being conducted in US, this post is being included under the section "Americanness". Purists might claim that coffee is not american. That way, there is nothing called American - for US is veritably a country of immigrants that has embraced many cultures and traditions to come up with its unique blend. Further, agreed that most of the terms and coffee varieties are of italian origin.

So, the bottomline is, out of fear for what others think about our ignorance, we might not end up clarifying. So, ignorance just piles up and at times, it does become late to go back and ask. But then, I did finally summon the courage to ask a petite barista of the fairer sex (beautiful can also be an adjective to further qualify the lady), as to what these varieties meant and how different they really were. She was kind and courteous enough to reply. Moroever, she added that it was their duty to enlightenten the world (read people like me) about coffee.

Cappuccino is 1/3rd foam, 1/3rd espresso and 1/3rd milk. Latte contains more milk and less froth than cappuccino. Frappuccino is truly american Starbuck's version of frozen cappuccino. Mocha includes cocoa. Espresso is the pure shot. People who serve coffee are known as Barista's. There is a Barista club. Barista's are commanded to take pride in being Barista's. There is this exact temperature and pressure to be applied to make the espresso. How a lower temperature might end up making it sweet and the higher temperature sour, or vice versa (not really sure).

The post on the Indian Coffee can be found here.

The Bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki....

Please do not be surprised with this seeping in of a post with heavy political overtones. The thought for this post came up after a discussion over lunch with my American colleagues.

Imagine this.

You are a young child, say a teenager. You have a debate at school. You are asked to defend the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki on a purely rational basis. What would you do?

Having been brought up in India, this same topic would have assumed an altogether different angle. What makes it harder for the American children, is their need to justify the savage act of their previous generations. The war reached such horrendous proportions, that at that point of time, hurting the enemy in any manner was an acceptable solution.

How would a German justify what the Nazi's did to the Jews. How would a Spaniard/Portuguese justify the horrendous acts of his/her forefathers with the rape of Latin America. How would a Japanese justify the rape of China? How would one justify the aftermath of the Partition of India? How would one justify the slavery and harsh treatment meted out towards Africa? Infact, how can anyone justify the acts of the imperialists, dictators and terrorists?

Well, no justifications, whatsoever. Have you ever thought of this? The world has never been peaceful. There has always been a simmer of discontent, violence and war. It is no different now from what it had been all this while.

We need to find that peace and harmony amidst all chaos.

The Importance of Sinning....

How does one know what to avoid without getting burnt once?

From the lust, dawns the love.

From laziness, comes the dynamism.

From the profane, comes the sacred.

From the cynic, comes the sensitive soul.

From the rejection of the self, comes the acceptance of the self.

From the base metals, comes the gold.

From the pain, comes the ecstacy.

From the impure, comes the pure.

From the sin, emerges the virtue.

The circle of life - a complete circle.

PS: Getting burnt is a process in itself.

One need not stop with just one experience.

Not all experiences are the same.

We just get cooked better the next time.

Bournvita....

White....

The definition of pure white.

The play of colors - snow with the dark wood.

The game of hide and seek.

A beautiful day in paradise.

A fairy tale.

Madras...

The city you might very well fall in love with. Nothing spectacular about the city. Yet, charmingly seductive in every possible manner. If you hate it, please do re-consider your decision. Everything in the world deserves a second chance.

Elliot's beach, Kapaleeswar Temple, Parrys Corner, Saravana Bhawan, Adyar Ananda Bhawan, Spencers, Mount Road, Gemini, L.S.S., PTC, 29C, Landmark, December Season, P S Senior, Luz Corner, Ranganathan Street, Nalli's, Marina Beach, TTK Road, Music Academy, LB Road, Adyar Signal, Cooum, Murugan Lending Library, Valluvar Kottam, IIT Madras, Raj Bhawan, Sathyam Theater, Vijaya Stores, Madras Central, Kalakshetra, East Mada Street, Marundeeswar Temple, Thiruvanmiyur, "1 Express", Velachery, Tidel Park, Egmore, Cancer Institute, ICF, Avadi, Ambattur Industrial Estate, Guindy, Tambaram, Alaipayuthey, Electric trains, Adyar Bakery, Madisar Mami, Iyer, Iyengar, Street Cricket, Chepauk, India vs. Pakistan, Light house, Mahabalipuram, Nanganallur, Sapthagiri Express, Trisulam, Meenambakkam, Nungambakkam, ATP Gold Flake Open, Palimar, Traffic Jams, Theosophical Society, Banyan Tree, Narada Gana Sabha, Summer Season, Kancheepuram Sarees, Jasmine flowers, Two leaves, Rising Sun, Dravidan Politics, TN Express, Stella Maris, Madras Book Fair, Pori, Kadalai, Veg. Puffs, Coaching Classes, Masilamani Street, KSR, Santhanam, Govi, Balsu, TRS, DOTE, Aavin Park, Sathya Studio, Ranga Road, Rex Fashions, Krishna Cafe, Narasu's Coffee, Leo Coffee House, Sangeetha's, Water Lorries, Telugu Ganga Project, "Hot, Hotter, Hottest", Cyclones, and what not.

The lonely crusader....

We are all alone in this journey called life, seeking answers to our very own questions. At times the questions themselves change. However, the answers are never the same at any point of time. Every person's experiences are unique and each face has a story to tell worthy of respect. No matter what the connectivity is between two souls, it is indeed difficult to share happiness and pain of a person. No one can truly share both of them. A harsh statement but perfectly true in almost every sense.

Important people at times cause hurt in our lives because of this very expectation from them - that they can and should share our happiness and pain. Deep down, that expectation is there. It is best not to expect anything from anyone; no matter how special or important they might be in our lives. I suppose this approach would work out the healthiest in all relationships - be it between mother and son, father and daughter, sister and brother, friend and a friend, soulmates(?), husband and wife, and what not.

Solitude becomes the most cherished, and yet painful possession for all of us. Yes, we are all alone! Our experiences are limited and what the important people in our lives can do for us is also limited. The same holds for what we can do for them. However, the joy of living is a blessing, and it is our foremost and the most important reason for existence. This is not being selfish. If we are happy, people in our lives are also happy. As Paulo says in his book, "By the River Piedra, I sat down and wept",

"Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest. Our magic moment helps us to change and send us off in search of our dreams. Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments - but all of this is transitory; it leaves no permanent remark. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken."

Netaholic....

This just defeats me. The amount of time spent - both wasted and utilized - on the internet by people. Foremost amongst such people, will be me. A day without mail checks seems to be highly difficult and there is that nagging sense of a void and incompleteness for that entire day. Surprisingly, such feelings often tend to be unjustified too.

Who has the time to e-mail these days? Gone are the days of snail-mail. Now, e-mails might become extinct too. Often, a day results in umpteen senseless e-mail checks. What is even more surprising is that there are so many people who have a similar addiction.

Then, there is www.orkut.com. We do have www.blogger.com too. All potential time-wasters? But, I believe blogging has helped me in more ways than one. www.orkut.com is also a fun place to be. Plus, we have the chat clients... Is talking to friends and acquaintances a waste of time? No, right... you are perfectly right.

So, what does one do if one becomes a netaholic? How does not checking emails for 10 days sound as a medicine? Is this possible? But, then what happens if that one important email - be it academically, professionally, or personally does come in?

Hmm... a post about nothing specific this time. Just felt like keying in a few words.. and what better topic than this. :)

May the netaholics in the world unite...

PS: To the greatest surprise of the author, there do exist people, whom he would treat as weird specimens, who check their mails twice a day - as the first and last tasks of the day. Who are specimens - us or them or both?

PS: An interesting quote from Calvin - "Reality continues to ruin my life".

Human Relationships....

How many of us are sensitive to the people around us?

How many of us celebrate the successes of the other?

How many of us are able to share the pain of the other?

How many of us forgive the other for all of his/her faults?

A special thanks to all the people in my life, who made me realise the importance and value of human relationships, in their own sweet little ways.

Limited Experiences...

Why do we associate the good and bad times with our limited experiences? Why do we often delve onto the past? Why is nostalgia painful? Why should a particular song (be it a popular Illaiyaraja tune of the 80's, those days of experimentation with western contemporary music beginning with Backstreet Boys and Boyzone, the various people recommending their favourite pieces, etc.) remind one of all the events of the past that just go by in a flash? Why do we associate so many of the events of the past with such simple things? Why are we not able to forget the past?

Interactions with people; and the ideas, opinions and values of theirs that we seem to cherish or remember clearly make us discriminate between the various people in our lives. Why do we subconsciously grow to be dependent on them? People who were always there for us during the thick of times, who gradually opened up, who welcomed us into their circle of lives (albeit after a lot of hesitation and cynicisms), who loved us for what we were, ... Why do they go away? Rather, why do we go away from them. Why do separations become so real and inevitable?

Why does life always offer such transitions? Why cannot "change" be temporary instead of permanent. As we move on in this journey called life, we venture out of a place called heaven in search of another heaven. What we thought of as heaven ceases to be heaven for long. We begin to crave for a different kind of atmosphere and heaven. Inevitably, the new heaven also ceases to be heaven. No place is perfect. We take time to make our friends. And in no time whatsoever, friends separate. Why should so many people come into our lives only to give us lessons and go away?

People are so generous when it comes to giving those invaluable lessons. They come as omens with a specific purpose. When we look back in retrospection, we owe everything that we are for to the various people in our lives. Sadly, we often take such important people for granted and fail to acknowledge their value; until it becomes too late. Solitude is painful. Being with people is also painful. So what can one do? Why does life always seem to be a paradox? A life of opposites. A tension of opposites.

As usual so many questions with no answers.

PS: I dedicate this post to all the people in my life. Of particular emphasis, are the people at Texas A&M University, College Station. They thankfully put up with all the idiosyncracies of the author. As the author mentally prepares to leave this heaven, in quest for who-knows-what, he simply acknowledges the role played by each and every individual out here. Pain, happiness, anger, frustration, fear, devotion, heroism, patriotism, sportsmanship, adventure, naughtiness, tears, sleepless nights, endless discussions, relating to so many people, friendships for life, and what not.

PS2: A&M shaped me, changed me, and made me realise so many lessons. How to make a home far away from home, how to relate to people, how to appreciate the beauties in life, how to look for the best in everything despite the emotional, financial, and academic issues, and what not. This by no means means that the learning is complete. It is just a small, but significant step in that direction. I love you, my dear A&M. A simple thank you for everything that you provided me with. You nurtured me like a loving mother. I couldn't have asked for more.