Limited Experiences...

Why do we associate the good and bad times with our limited experiences? Why do we often delve onto the past? Why is nostalgia painful? Why should a particular song (be it a popular Illaiyaraja tune of the 80's, those days of experimentation with western contemporary music beginning with Backstreet Boys and Boyzone, the various people recommending their favourite pieces, etc.) remind one of all the events of the past that just go by in a flash? Why do we associate so many of the events of the past with such simple things? Why are we not able to forget the past?

Interactions with people; and the ideas, opinions and values of theirs that we seem to cherish or remember clearly make us discriminate between the various people in our lives. Why do we subconsciously grow to be dependent on them? People who were always there for us during the thick of times, who gradually opened up, who welcomed us into their circle of lives (albeit after a lot of hesitation and cynicisms), who loved us for what we were, ... Why do they go away? Rather, why do we go away from them. Why do separations become so real and inevitable?

Why does life always offer such transitions? Why cannot "change" be temporary instead of permanent. As we move on in this journey called life, we venture out of a place called heaven in search of another heaven. What we thought of as heaven ceases to be heaven for long. We begin to crave for a different kind of atmosphere and heaven. Inevitably, the new heaven also ceases to be heaven. No place is perfect. We take time to make our friends. And in no time whatsoever, friends separate. Why should so many people come into our lives only to give us lessons and go away?

People are so generous when it comes to giving those invaluable lessons. They come as omens with a specific purpose. When we look back in retrospection, we owe everything that we are for to the various people in our lives. Sadly, we often take such important people for granted and fail to acknowledge their value; until it becomes too late. Solitude is painful. Being with people is also painful. So what can one do? Why does life always seem to be a paradox? A life of opposites. A tension of opposites.

As usual so many questions with no answers.

PS: I dedicate this post to all the people in my life. Of particular emphasis, are the people at Texas A&M University, College Station. They thankfully put up with all the idiosyncracies of the author. As the author mentally prepares to leave this heaven, in quest for who-knows-what, he simply acknowledges the role played by each and every individual out here. Pain, happiness, anger, frustration, fear, devotion, heroism, patriotism, sportsmanship, adventure, naughtiness, tears, sleepless nights, endless discussions, relating to so many people, friendships for life, and what not.

PS2: A&M shaped me, changed me, and made me realise so many lessons. How to make a home far away from home, how to relate to people, how to appreciate the beauties in life, how to look for the best in everything despite the emotional, financial, and academic issues, and what not. This by no means means that the learning is complete. It is just a small, but significant step in that direction. I love you, my dear A&M. A simple thank you for everything that you provided me with. You nurtured me like a loving mother. I couldn't have asked for more.