People Watching.....

Most people indulge in this very engaging, enriching and at times, titillating activity. Be it the public transport, the office, the school, the recreation center, the places of worship, the coffee shops, the restaurants, the car, whatever. It need not necessarily be limited to what is termed "sighting" or to put it more forcefully, letching. We can learn a lot about human behavior, interactions and relationships by just watching people. For a moment, forgetting all our worries and reasons for happiness, we take the roles of people we shamelessly watch.

Some interesting examples, that come to the author's immediate notice, are given below; in no particular preference or sequence. All of them are from the USA due to their recent nature of occurrences. This is not meant to serve as an indicator about the American culture or Americanness. The examples are cited with a pure innocuous intention. A second article on Indian experiences would be posted sometime.

#1. 6th St. and Cedar St. Bus Stop, St. Paul, MN, USA

An Afro-American girl, barely 15 years of age, dressed in a hip fashion (vulgar and unbecoming of such a tender age), smoking a cigar and puffing her way to whatever insane glory.

#2. 5th St. and Minnesota St. Bus Stop, St. Paul, MN, USA

A young couple, anywhere between 15-17, lustily kissing and eating each other's mouths in public. She looks down there at him, and teasingly calls him "retarded". Open use of abusive language, commenting on others, making fun of others, rampant "liberalism"

#3. Starbucks Coffee, San Rafael, CA, USA

A lady reading a big fat book, A boy solving a crossword game, A man working on his laptop, An old man making a move with a relatively young girl, fit enough, to be his daughter or even grand-daughter. A guy playing the guitar outside the shop; with a few interested onlookers.

#4. Starbucks Coffee, Cottage Grove, MN, USA

An old couple (70+), having a wonderful conversation over a cup of coffee. Love is evident in the air and their eyes convey everything. Highly encouraging.

#5. Bike trail, Cottage Grove, MN, USA

A family of four, husband, wife, and two cute children, riding on four bikes, one behind the another, having a high quality recreative time spent with their loved ones.

#6. Lawns, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX, USA

The dawn of summer brings out the best in the women of College Station. Sporting bikinis and leisurely reading stuff, lying totally "laid-front" on the ground. Enough to attract the attention of of many a roving and lustful eye.

#7. North gate pub, College Station, TX, USA

Noise blaring in the background. People on the process of getting drunk. Some tend to get physically intimate, oblivious of the surroundings. People trying to have conversations. Smoke and alcohol provide a not-so comfortable environment for a non-smoker and a non-drinker.

#8. Sweet Eugene's, A coffee shop, College Station, TX, USA

A group of four girls, playing Scrabble over coffee.

#9. Recreation Center, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX, USA

A feast for the eyes for many guys, including the author. Their dedication to the maintenance of their body structure deserves genuine appreciation.

#10. Sbisa Dining Center, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX, USA

A young Hispanic girl (10-13), glued to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, completely oblivious of the surroundings.

#11. Red Hot Jazz Cafe, Houston, TX, USA

People, majority Afro-Americans, having dinner with amazing live jazz performances. Amazing peaceful easy feeling. Harmony is in the air.

#12. Joe Satriani Concert, Dallas, TX, USA

A group of people, sporting "black" paraphernalia, tattoed arms, hips, stomachs, belly-rings and rings in so many different and interesting places, totally stoned with drugs, fag and booze. Listening dangerously close (atleast their ears) to heavy metal high volume music, during the breaks.

#13. River Walk, San Antonio, TX, USA

Couples craving for privacy in supposedly one of the most romantic places in the US. Ironically, crowded with so many like-minded couples.

.... and so on.

Humility....

There are some good things in life that would be a conquest for the entire lifetime. Humility is one of them. The author has seen so many shades of humility in people. Genuine humility, a superficial layered humility, humility to the point of arrogance, and extreme vanity. Being genuinely humble, would be the conquest for life.

The most dangerous of the four forms is humility to the point of arrogance. One tends to get complacent, forget the difficult times, not count the blessings, and become arrogantly humble. In this case, there is that heavy layer of hypocrisy involved. Naturally, it is more depracating than the case of extreme vanity. Atleast, people are being honest to themselves then.

So, when you do think that you have done something great or have every reason to be arrogant, but are not doing so, to be in the good books of people, think deep down. Realise the insignificance of the self. Realise the importance of being honest and scrupulous. Coming to terms with your own horrendous self can be the most difficult task at hand.

Of Cats and Dogs....

This post is drawn from a personal experience of mine and is about a cat and a dog. Their interactions remind me of sibling rivalry or those moments of feeling usurped by the new entrant into the family. It all began like this.

The cat was the queen of the house. The entire house was her territory. Oh! boy, she did have an amazing time, running here and there, up and down, over the fridge, the wooden cabinets, etc. A very friendly cat.

Then, a dog (a few months old) was brought into the house. They were to share the same territory. The cat was forgotten but for the occassional "how are you doing". The dog is currently being pampered with daily evening walks and is allowed to sleep in the master's bedroom. And, when the two of them are together, let loose, the cat's superiority is gone. The dog chases the cat and frightens her to the hilt. Sadistic pleasure at the plight of the cat by the dog is rampantly obvious.

I guess all this is pretty natural. But then, what shocks me, are the eyes of the cat. The happiness is gone. She is sad. When the dog goes out for a walk with her master, the cat's eyes make that desperate plea. She is silent these days. No longer does she run around the house. She simply sits in the sofa, mourning. I really feel sorry for her. But then, as always, she needs to learn to share and the younger sibling, the dog, needs to accomodate her too.

Emotions are truly universal.

PS: I being, a paying guest in the house, cannot do much. However, I would like to dedicate this post to that cat.

Human Relationships... Revisited.

This post is dedicated to Hesam, and a few others, for providing me with important lessons.

Human relationships, an enigma and a long journey for life. At the very outset, the author clarifies that relationships do NOT necessarily mean only those of a romantic nature. It doesn't mean anything. Have you ever wondered about the people in your circle of life? What makes them special and what makes them different from the numerous acquaintances in your life?

Do you have people in your life who would do "anything" for you, because you are you. What moves the world? What makes people be there for you in those moments of despair, frustration, joy, bliss and overwhelming happiness? It is an altogether different issue that no one can truly share one's happiness and sorrows, due to the limited experiences and abilities to empathise.

If you look at it, there are so many different kinds of human relationships and interactions. However, two broad classifications do exist.

#1. Divine incarnates

These people are the guardians of our life. They love us deeply for what we are. Our happiness matters most to them. They are there, everytime, we need them. They do their best in ensuring the well-ness of our being. They do not mind "giving" all the time. They never let us be alone. Their prayers, wishes, blessings, are always with us. If you look back, we cannot "give" anything in return to compensate in even a small "unvulgar" manner their magnanimous gestures. It is like a bonding for life and they are veritably incarnations of the divine or energy or vibrations or the hidden hand or the force.

The people in these classification would be the Divine itself, our guru's, our parents, our siblings, and all our teachers. Often, in these relationships, since we keep "taking" all the time, we can but hope to give our respect, gratitude and love to them. For e.g., what does a guru do to you? He/she helps you in your journey, by giving you all that he/she has. The only thing he/she expects is that you do not misuse the invaluable lessons. I bow down to all of them.

#2 An eye for an eye

Mahatma Gandhi, the father of the Indian nation, had once said, "If everyone were to practice an eye for an eye, then there would be no more eyes in the world." He had meant it at the macroscopic level of a nation, and it was more negative because of the varied killings in the name of hatred. But the author has firmly come to believe in this theory, so very well expounded by my dear friend Hesam, at the micrsoscopic level of the self.

When it comes to relationships, that are not in #1, it has to be this way. He calls it the 50% rule. Some say it is like a bank deposit (where you can withdraw only after you deposit). My guru calls it the feedback rule (positive feedback attracts positive, negative feedback attracts negative, a case of like attracts like). The author calls it an eye for an eye. The crux is the same.

Just like two hands need to clap, two souls need to sustain the relationship. Both need to evince an interest in maintaining it. As long as there is mutual respect and affection, it should be fine. Most relationships stand the test of the time, when the two people are physically apart. The big question is "Can you still be friends for life with them". As a simple case, how would it be when you keep calling the other person all the time, and not receive any from him/her. Extend this case to emails and all kinds of informal/formal communications.

Look at the people in your life. Count them. You would be shocked to know as to how small a number that can be. My dear friend, count your blessings and do everything possible to maintain the relationship. If you need to call, then go ahead and call them up. A friendly "hope all is fine with you" email can do wonders. Be there, as that support and that shoulder to lean upon when they need you. Leave them as they are. If they are having a great time, then try to share their happiness. If they are having a bad time, then be a patient listener and try to empathise.

PS: I know that there are so many books on personal relationships. However, you never really get to understand them, until you experience them in your own special ways, do you?

PS2: I have been so lax and negligent when it comes to sustaining relationships. Even though my wishes would be with them, I would never wish them. I have a lot to learn when it comes to human relationships. Thank you, appa; for always driving this point in.

PS3: I do not know as to where the concept of a soulmate or life-partner fits in. When the time comes to cross the bridge across forever, it shall be done.

Libraries...

This post is dedicated to all the libraries that have been there for me. Be it, a small room with an old man keeping track of old books in Madurai, the Murugan Lending Library of Adyar, Madras fame, the umpteen school libraries, BITS, TAMU, and now the Cottage Grove Public Library.

#1. Have you ever got lost in a library, bewildered at the assortment of books around?

#2. Have you ever picked a book, totally on an impulse, and ended up not reading it too?

#3. Have you ever experienced the excitement of a child when you come across a book you have been wanting to read all along?

#4. Have you ever wondered as to how life would be without libraries?

#5. Have you ever thought as to which option would be better - selfishly owning a few books, or, having a book be embraced and experienced by many more readers, courtesy a library?

Americanness I - Coffee...

A series of posts - complementary to the Indianness articles, about life in America. Does the concept Americanness exist.

I must admit when it comes to my ignorance about the delights of various types of coffee. Having been brought up in a family with "filter coffee" as the norm, all these talks of cappuccino, frappuccino, latte, mocha, machiato, espresso, and the likes were confusing. There was that fear of public ridicule for not knowing the basic stuff about coffee. Heeding the recommendations of friends, willingness and daringness to try out new varieties, prompted me to simply go ahead and give them all a sip.

Starbucks, with its presence everywhere, in the US was, is and would be the experiment station. This is not to mean that India wouldn't have offered me the means to sample such varieties at Barista's and Coffee Day outlets. Let it suffice, that the author was not in a position to experiment then. Since the experiments are being conducted in US, this post is being included under the section "Americanness". Purists might claim that coffee is not american. That way, there is nothing called American - for US is veritably a country of immigrants that has embraced many cultures and traditions to come up with its unique blend. Further, agreed that most of the terms and coffee varieties are of italian origin.

So, the bottomline is, out of fear for what others think about our ignorance, we might not end up clarifying. So, ignorance just piles up and at times, it does become late to go back and ask. But then, I did finally summon the courage to ask a petite barista of the fairer sex (beautiful can also be an adjective to further qualify the lady), as to what these varieties meant and how different they really were. She was kind and courteous enough to reply. Moroever, she added that it was their duty to enlightenten the world (read people like me) about coffee.

Cappuccino is 1/3rd foam, 1/3rd espresso and 1/3rd milk. Latte contains more milk and less froth than cappuccino. Frappuccino is truly american Starbuck's version of frozen cappuccino. Mocha includes cocoa. Espresso is the pure shot. People who serve coffee are known as Barista's. There is a Barista club. Barista's are commanded to take pride in being Barista's. There is this exact temperature and pressure to be applied to make the espresso. How a lower temperature might end up making it sweet and the higher temperature sour, or vice versa (not really sure).

The post on the Indian Coffee can be found here.