Human Relationships... Revisited.

This post is dedicated to Hesam, and a few others, for providing me with important lessons.

Human relationships, an enigma and a long journey for life. At the very outset, the author clarifies that relationships do NOT necessarily mean only those of a romantic nature. It doesn't mean anything. Have you ever wondered about the people in your circle of life? What makes them special and what makes them different from the numerous acquaintances in your life?

Do you have people in your life who would do "anything" for you, because you are you. What moves the world? What makes people be there for you in those moments of despair, frustration, joy, bliss and overwhelming happiness? It is an altogether different issue that no one can truly share one's happiness and sorrows, due to the limited experiences and abilities to empathise.

If you look at it, there are so many different kinds of human relationships and interactions. However, two broad classifications do exist.

#1. Divine incarnates

These people are the guardians of our life. They love us deeply for what we are. Our happiness matters most to them. They are there, everytime, we need them. They do their best in ensuring the well-ness of our being. They do not mind "giving" all the time. They never let us be alone. Their prayers, wishes, blessings, are always with us. If you look back, we cannot "give" anything in return to compensate in even a small "unvulgar" manner their magnanimous gestures. It is like a bonding for life and they are veritably incarnations of the divine or energy or vibrations or the hidden hand or the force.

The people in these classification would be the Divine itself, our guru's, our parents, our siblings, and all our teachers. Often, in these relationships, since we keep "taking" all the time, we can but hope to give our respect, gratitude and love to them. For e.g., what does a guru do to you? He/she helps you in your journey, by giving you all that he/she has. The only thing he/she expects is that you do not misuse the invaluable lessons. I bow down to all of them.

#2 An eye for an eye

Mahatma Gandhi, the father of the Indian nation, had once said, "If everyone were to practice an eye for an eye, then there would be no more eyes in the world." He had meant it at the macroscopic level of a nation, and it was more negative because of the varied killings in the name of hatred. But the author has firmly come to believe in this theory, so very well expounded by my dear friend Hesam, at the micrsoscopic level of the self.

When it comes to relationships, that are not in #1, it has to be this way. He calls it the 50% rule. Some say it is like a bank deposit (where you can withdraw only after you deposit). My guru calls it the feedback rule (positive feedback attracts positive, negative feedback attracts negative, a case of like attracts like). The author calls it an eye for an eye. The crux is the same.

Just like two hands need to clap, two souls need to sustain the relationship. Both need to evince an interest in maintaining it. As long as there is mutual respect and affection, it should be fine. Most relationships stand the test of the time, when the two people are physically apart. The big question is "Can you still be friends for life with them". As a simple case, how would it be when you keep calling the other person all the time, and not receive any from him/her. Extend this case to emails and all kinds of informal/formal communications.

Look at the people in your life. Count them. You would be shocked to know as to how small a number that can be. My dear friend, count your blessings and do everything possible to maintain the relationship. If you need to call, then go ahead and call them up. A friendly "hope all is fine with you" email can do wonders. Be there, as that support and that shoulder to lean upon when they need you. Leave them as they are. If they are having a great time, then try to share their happiness. If they are having a bad time, then be a patient listener and try to empathise.

PS: I know that there are so many books on personal relationships. However, you never really get to understand them, until you experience them in your own special ways, do you?

PS2: I have been so lax and negligent when it comes to sustaining relationships. Even though my wishes would be with them, I would never wish them. I have a lot to learn when it comes to human relationships. Thank you, appa; for always driving this point in.

PS3: I do not know as to where the concept of a soulmate or life-partner fits in. When the time comes to cross the bridge across forever, it shall be done.