Today happens to be the Maha Aalaya Amavasya, of the Mahalaya Paksham fortnight. A fortnight of activities in thought and action, towards and in honor, respect, love of our fore-fathers. Amavasya, or the new-moon day, which occurs every month, is also set aside for the same purpose. It is therefore apt and appropriate to write about two of my earliest heroes, my two grand-fathers, Thatha(father's father) and Aja(mother's father) on this special day. Both of them taught me certain important lessons, during my childhood and youth, and some of my thought processes were, are and would be heavily influenced by them. This post is rightly dedicated to them, and to all the grand-fathers and the grand-mothers of the world. I am sure that the bonding a grand-parent shares with its grand-child is something really special, no matter where. What makes it special, is the fact that the grand-child becomes an important part of the grand-parent's life, post retirement, and it is the time to revisit or experience certain experiences, that one would have denied oneself in the past, with one's own children.
Needless to mention, there could be wheels within wheels in such relationships, like any other, due to the relationships of the parents with the two sets of grand-parents. When one realizes that no one is perfect, this, at least makes it possible for the grand-child to accept the idiosyncracies of the person, made more so difficult due to their iconic status during one's childhood; and respect and love them for what they were/ are. Further, most elders are neglected, when they go past their primes, and become a liability in terms of time, health, money and getting about their daily activities. Ironically, during these times of neglect are when they need our love the most; and not when, everything is rosy, prim and proper. To make matters worse, there could be the eye on the inheritances, if it be so applicable. This is something that the author has seen happen, in India, the US, and heard so from a Taiwanese friend. I am sure that the fact of the elders becoming a non-issue with time, would be an issue in most parts of the world, since time immemorial.
Moreover, every rose has its thorn, and it is up to us, and us alone, to think of the rose or the thorn or both. And every behavior, be it warranted or un-warranted, polite or impolite, nice or rude, is more so because of a reason. Two hands are needed to get the sound of a clap. It is pointless to point fingers at one side, without truly knowing what is it that makes one behave the way one behaves. What complicates matters, is that, all of these incomprehensible behaviors are the off-shoots of love. Love can be as destructive as constructive, if not more, when it comes to human relationships. Most of the wrongs in the world, are again, off-shoots of love, love and love alone. (As a brutal example, love for one's vision/ country/ religion is what makes a person a terrorist, who goes about killing the harmless victims, without an iota of guilt). With that as a long aside, the author would want to paint the portrait of the two gentlemen, thatha and aja, out here; for an essay on the human relationships between the aged, mid-aged, youth and the children, is not the real purpose of this post.
Thatha
My earliest hero, for all that I can remember. Pampered me beyond any doubt and I was evidently his favorite grand-child. Memories of my earliest childhood revolve around thatha, chocolates, playing all kinds of games at all odd-times, walking with him to the Srirangam temple market with a fancy little red shoe that would squeak in a playful way to my delight as I walked, pens, pencils, colors, street cricket, dresses, Raghavendra Swami Mutt, encounters with the temple elephants, brown covers on note-books and books before the start of a new academic year, etc. He was extremely religious and used to perform sandhya vandanam and pranayama, twice every day. He possessed an assorted variety of sanskrit sloka books, ranging from the Bhagavad Gita to Vadiraja's treatises. And, no matter what, he used to write the entry for the day in his diary, in his beautiful handwriting. The surest way to win his heart would have been to present a beautiful diary during New Year's eve. His writings were simple and effective, sans flowery elements; and he was fluent in Marathi, Kannada, and Tamil, as well.
From what the author remembers, the author was scolded once by thatha, much to his shock and astonishment. As someone very particular about coffee, and, sadly, tobacco; he used to have raw green chilli's too, with curd rice, to the author's bewilderment. A very simple man, the father of three children, the youngest being my father, had retired as a Commercial Railway Inspector, from the Southern Railways, Tiruchi. His work was known to have taken him here and there, to the remote parts of Karnataka, Andhra Pradesh, and Tamil Nadu, all by trains, much to the amusement of his grand-child, and very much to the dismay of his family. Unfortunately, thatha had lost his mother at a very tender age, and his father had re-married again. Being the eldest, he was responsible for all of his siblings and step-siblings too..... Thatha passed away at the age of 78, after a brief illness, when the author was 12. Hence, most memories are from childhood.
Needless to mention, there could be wheels within wheels in such relationships, like any other, due to the relationships of the parents with the two sets of grand-parents. When one realizes that no one is perfect, this, at least makes it possible for the grand-child to accept the idiosyncracies of the person, made more so difficult due to their iconic status during one's childhood; and respect and love them for what they were/ are. Further, most elders are neglected, when they go past their primes, and become a liability in terms of time, health, money and getting about their daily activities. Ironically, during these times of neglect are when they need our love the most; and not when, everything is rosy, prim and proper. To make matters worse, there could be the eye on the inheritances, if it be so applicable. This is something that the author has seen happen, in India, the US, and heard so from a Taiwanese friend. I am sure that the fact of the elders becoming a non-issue with time, would be an issue in most parts of the world, since time immemorial.
Moreover, every rose has its thorn, and it is up to us, and us alone, to think of the rose or the thorn or both. And every behavior, be it warranted or un-warranted, polite or impolite, nice or rude, is more so because of a reason. Two hands are needed to get the sound of a clap. It is pointless to point fingers at one side, without truly knowing what is it that makes one behave the way one behaves. What complicates matters, is that, all of these incomprehensible behaviors are the off-shoots of love. Love can be as destructive as constructive, if not more, when it comes to human relationships. Most of the wrongs in the world, are again, off-shoots of love, love and love alone. (As a brutal example, love for one's vision/ country/ religion is what makes a person a terrorist, who goes about killing the harmless victims, without an iota of guilt). With that as a long aside, the author would want to paint the portrait of the two gentlemen, thatha and aja, out here; for an essay on the human relationships between the aged, mid-aged, youth and the children, is not the real purpose of this post.
Thatha
My earliest hero, for all that I can remember. Pampered me beyond any doubt and I was evidently his favorite grand-child. Memories of my earliest childhood revolve around thatha, chocolates, playing all kinds of games at all odd-times, walking with him to the Srirangam temple market with a fancy little red shoe that would squeak in a playful way to my delight as I walked, pens, pencils, colors, street cricket, dresses, Raghavendra Swami Mutt, encounters with the temple elephants, brown covers on note-books and books before the start of a new academic year, etc. He was extremely religious and used to perform sandhya vandanam and pranayama, twice every day. He possessed an assorted variety of sanskrit sloka books, ranging from the Bhagavad Gita to Vadiraja's treatises. And, no matter what, he used to write the entry for the day in his diary, in his beautiful handwriting. The surest way to win his heart would have been to present a beautiful diary during New Year's eve. His writings were simple and effective, sans flowery elements; and he was fluent in Marathi, Kannada, and Tamil, as well.
From what the author remembers, the author was scolded once by thatha, much to his shock and astonishment. As someone very particular about coffee, and, sadly, tobacco; he used to have raw green chilli's too, with curd rice, to the author's bewilderment. A very simple man, the father of three children, the youngest being my father, had retired as a Commercial Railway Inspector, from the Southern Railways, Tiruchi. His work was known to have taken him here and there, to the remote parts of Karnataka, Andhra Pradesh, and Tamil Nadu, all by trains, much to the amusement of his grand-child, and very much to the dismay of his family. Unfortunately, thatha had lost his mother at a very tender age, and his father had re-married again. Being the eldest, he was responsible for all of his siblings and step-siblings too..... Thatha passed away at the age of 78, after a brief illness, when the author was 12. Hence, most memories are from childhood.
Aja
One of my earliest heroes, I grew to respect aja, a real lot, with space and time. An extremely simple person, with a penchant for writing. His lambastes of many a politician tinged with satire would often make a conversation amusing. Like thatha, aja had lost his mother at a very very tender age. His father followed soon, and exact information on his siblings is not very clearly known. After his marriage, I believe, he had no living relative from his side. He fathered nine children, the sixth being my mother; and he saw to it, that everyone was educated well, in the domains of both academics and music. A man with a vision, he believed music would be the panacea for all problems in one's life. He being the sole bread-winner of the family, did struggle to get his children the education that he envisioned; and, marrying off his five daughters, indeed, proved to be a greater struggle (especially during those times). He retired as the Post Master General, Hyderabad.
My earliest memories of him, would be his trips to the market and the delicious Banganampalli mangoes and his harangue of the shop-keepers who he believed where out there to loot the common man. Not to forget the time when he had come over to Madras for 15 days when the author was in Class III. That, and, banana chips (used to get them everyday, for me), cold drinks, colors, pens, pencils, TT racquets, etc. His English was impeccable; and he was fluent in Marathi, Kannada, Tamil, Telugu, and Hindi as well. He had correctly spelt out "mountaineering" for me, when I had made a mistake in a home work. Further, the author vividly remembers an incident where both of us were lost from the family crowd during a trip, and as to how cool he really was. The author believes he was fortunate to have been involved in several intimate conversations with aja, post his undergraduate education and before his graduate study phase...... Aja passed away at the age of 86, after being in coma for 3-4 months, when the author was 23.
*****
Both thatha and aja, had the same name. Seshagiri Rao. The author would consider them to have been successful men, who made the best of what life could offer to them, and who provided the best that they could offer to their families. May their souls be at peace.
PS: Of course, both these men, did make a few mistakes in life. That, is not the purpose of this post, and, who doesn't make mistakes in life?
1 comment:
well well .you certainly are lucky to have experiences with both the grandfathers.some,unfortunately, we can say,dont even have one.
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