Of daughters and sons....

This is an attempt to break the routine of writing about posts that have the philosophical tinge. One of my very good friends, who has been a thick friend through and through, during both the good and bad times, felt that I needed a break; a departure from writing about not-so-beautiful topics. Here, is this attempt, or is it really so? :)

There was a time, say, once upon a time; when daughters were looked down upon as a financial burden. Birth of a daughter signified worries and financial problems for the family. The dowry and the practice of having a "decent" wedding for their daughter forced parents to spend their entire life savings on a single afternoon. She was therefore, veritably a burden. Moreover, the culture and society of India had this extra problem of taking care of the girl child once she came of age. While the girl was grappling to come in terms with the hormonal reality, here was the added security and advice (all in the right spirit and earnest) that added an element of worry for her parents. {It is an altogether different issue that boys were also grappling to come in terms with the hormonal reality}.

Moroever, the daughter has to go to an another family. She is literally wedded to the new family. Who knows what is in store for her? What kinds do the husband and in-laws turn out to be? So, she has to be beautiful (well, can everyone be physically beautiful?), well-educated (hmmm...), needs to know music (either singing or dancing!), needs to have a well-balanced opinion towards everything male (the other can flirt, the other can ogle at beautiful women, the other can lust; the other can drink/smoke, while she has to be devoted (yes, devoted) to her male). Disgusting, right? That was the way it all was. Now these MCPs are giving way to those feminists, yes, feminists who have taken the plunge.

So what happens now. The girl is well-educated. The girl is talented when it comes to co-curriculars. In the name of feminism, girls are quite open these days with flirting, lusting for Brad Pitt (nothing wrong in it, right?), drinking or smoking socially (a fashion of the times), and want the so-called significant other to have a well-balanced opinion towards everything female (I don't know as to what constitutes as "female" out here). Equally disgusting, right? So, where is all this leading to? The author feels that both need to develop a healthy respect for each other; and both need to act their own natural selves, instead of being swayed to the tunes of MCPs and femininists.

Coming back to the original topic of discussion, nowadays in the nuclear families, children are limited to two, and in some cases one. The most interesting case is when there are two children in a family. Gone are the days when the girl child was a burden. A daughter is equally precious these days as a son. (A very welcome development; but still not universal). The author waits for the day, when, the growth of a foetus is no longer monitored for purposes of female infanticide but for the genuine purpose of its well-being and health, amongst all sections of the society. This will be a sign of true progress in a society. Take these cases of two children phenomenon in the families. #1 Daughter, Daughter; #2 Daughter, Son; #3 Son, Daughter; #4 Son, Son.

Cases 2 and 3 though different, are more or less similar. However, the interesting feature is in Cases 1 and 4. I have seen families with two sons having that desire for a girl child, who is seen as a delicate, beautiful creation on earth who can do a host of wonderful activities in the field of music and dance. Most must admit that a girl performing bharatanatyam gracefully is preferable any day. Similarly, I have seen families with two daughters having that desire for a son, who is seen as a different kind of a beautiful creation on earth. He can have the thread ceremony and can be made to learn the say, mridangam or tabla. Have you ever seen a girl play the mridangam or tabla (no... maybe the fashionable drums). It merits to be a sexist when it comes to arts and aesthetics. :)

Sometimes, their unfilled desires become blatantly obvious that the author finds it downright humorous. Their reasons are more often than not, justified too. What can one say? The grass is always greener on the other side. To be honest, this is a brutal generalization and might very well be unwarranted. It is an altogether different issue as to how close these siblings turn out to become as they "grow up".

PS: By the way, one of the sayings used to bless a newly wedded wife (very common in rural parts of India) - "May you be the mother of a thousand sons". Highly indicative of the bias against daughters. This bias continues to sadly exist in most parts of India, not necessarily rural.