Respect and Pity...

I was heavily inspired by my friend and his post to read "The Namesake" by Ms. Jhumpa Lahiri, and this post is heavily inspired by the novel. A not another review of the book. I would however, chose to write on a phrase that is highly effective in conveying what it is meant to convey.

Immigrants, or non-immigrants (read aliens), are in a constant dichotomous state of existence with the perennial question of "What am I?". While one state yearns for the life that they have left behind in their native country, the other finds it a thin line of divide between hate and love for their new country. They slowly begin to accept the ways and life of the new country.

As rightly pointed out in the book, what the citizens of the new country feel for such people is a mixture of respect and pity. The combination of both of these makes it a not so favourable an opininon. Respect for their boldness in coming to a totally alien country as aliens. Pity for their missing out on the pleasures and culture of the native country.

Minneapolis is flooded with African refugees, who have been granted asylum and citizenship by the US. Theirs is, however, a different story. However, for people, who make a conscious decision to come to a new country for professional education or money or whatever, it is a clear case of not exercising their right of living in their country.

From a purely personal experience, an American lady (a cashier in a bank), upon coming to know of my Indian roots, asked me, "Do they have taxes in India". I was surprised with the question. I have also been asked about elephants being used as modes of transport in cities by certain people, out of that nagging curiosity. To most, India is an enigma. I merely tell them, "India is Europe minus Russia". It surprises them to know that India has more Muslims than any other country, despite their being a minority in India.

Anyways, the lady in consideration, told me, "I admire you people for being bold enough to come to a new country. It does require a lot of guts. It must be a tough experience. I cannot imagine myself doing that." Whether, the statement was made out of pure respect, or with that unconscious mix of pity, I truly don't know. However, I must agree that it is a tough experience, requiring really great levels of strength.

By the way, how exactly would life be in our native country? Would it be exactly like the ones we envision. It might very well not be so idyllic. But then, one of my friends had to offer this viewpoint, "If my country cannot offer me what I want, then I guess I have no choice. I would be prepared to accept life for what it has to offer to me. But for the new country, I do have the choice". Yes, my dear reader, it is the choice we make to live in that haze of "respect and pity" for us.

PS: This is a sensitive topic. Each one I have met so far, and have been fortunate to interact with, tries to justify his/her stance. People who love the life in the new country, continuously try to justify. Often, their justifications are convoluted. People who find their life to be that of aliens or second-rate people, suffer in silence, hoping for the dawn of a new day.

PS2: At the same time, there does exist a certain category of people belonging to the native country, that is envious of the alien, and the "rich" life it is leading in the new country. Does the saying, "The grass is greener on the other side" ring a bell.

PS3: The author declines to write about his opinion out here, as it is beyond the scope of this blog.