Time...

Malignant Cancer IV : Domestic Violence....

The author was inspired to write on this real and blood-boiling issue of "domestic violence", courtesy these three events. The South Asian Arts Festival, the annual fundraiser of SAHARA (a helpline organization for the battered women) from Nov 16-17, in Laguna Beach, CA, that he happened to attend; a discussion with friends over coffee on the same issue; and this poignant article, very well representative of the grim reality and the times, that he had come across long time back.

No matter how educated the society is, domestic violence, continues to create an havoc in the lives of the innocent and often, helpless, victims. In the earlier years, the issues of dowry, and lack of proper financial support of the wife's family, the wife's inability to conceive/ give birth to a son, etc. used to be major reasons for the same. At a time, when large families with just one bread-winner, say the father-in-law, were not uncommon, it was natural that a daughter, say the wife, was considered a financial burden. What made the issue even more ironically depressing, was that, the mother-in-law of the bride, a woman, herself, was the most cruel and demanding. This pregnant issue has been well conceived in the form of thought-provoking literature and cinema, since time immemorial, and is not the purpose for this post.

While none of the above can be justified, it is highly frustrating to note, the manifestation of this evil in an even more grotesque form. Gone are the days where the female child was deprived of a formal education. These days, most of the girls, are equally talented, if not more, than most of the prospective grooms. Most families strictly adhere to the 2-child norm, and hereby, there is some form of financial security. However, the most shocking fact, is that, this evil continues to exist; and is an issue in a land, far away from home, US of A, where, even the stereotyped, cruel mother-in-law's policing hand is out of reach. So, how does one explain this? The author feels that the answer lies in the Concept of the Indian Marriage and Society. Plus, the age old adage that, whatever happens within the four walls of the house, has to remain within.

In a heavily male-dominated society, in terms of its ideas, beliefs and opinions, a woman, is often considered to be the cause and affect of marital problems. Since their birth, the fact that, you need to do everything possible to make your marriage work, has been drilled into the girl child. If a man strays in a marriage, he is condoned, because, he is a man. He can drink, lust for a woman, have illicit relationships with women, squander money, batter/rape/harass his wife, etc., and the helpless victim, would often not find words of comfort, even, from her mother. A divorce is a stigma to her, and what about her children, who, despite their being the symbols of her entrapment, happen to be the sole reason for her existence. So, she is often trapped, in a meaningless relationship, that offers her no emotional, financial, psychological and physical comfort and security.

As an aside, the issues of male ego would be a botheration in the western countries too. However, there is that fear in the male, that, the wife might just go ahead with a divorce or complain to the rigidly strict law. She is given the freedom to speak out, which, bears no stigma at all for her. A divorce in this extreme form of atrocity on the women need not be justified. While the existing conditions of domestic violence, can happen, anywhere in the world, this grostesque and virulent new form is happening in the western countries, where, the women, are dependents for legal purposes. A groom, with an H-1, is a lucrative option for the girl child, because she can join him, immediately after marriage, unlike the case of the green card. For some, marriage poses the gateway to the US, the land of dreams for many. In these days of hurriedly arranged, arranged marriages, little is done to verify the actual professional and financial status of the groom. Sadly, in some cases, even the parents of the groom are oblivious of what is happening in their darling son's life out here.

A highly educated bride, comes to the US, as a dependent. In some unfortunate cases, she is harassed because of dowry. Sadly, the more so the number of elite degrees from great institutions after his name, the worse so, is the form of dowry. While education is expected to mould a person into a well-rounded, empathetic and honest persona, it fails miserably so in this case. He treats her as a door-mat and as an outlet for his sexual frustrations/ desires. In a land far from her parents and home, the woman is often helpless and trapped by the legal laws too. She cannot work. She doesn't have a social security number. In some cases, she is, purposefully, not taught to drive a car. How can this well-educated, Indian, woman, manage on the freeways? Does the husband ever think of how impotent he was when he had just arrived in the US. Naturally, for routine groceries, she has to depend on her husband. Pray, why she needs to do groceries: only, to not default on her duties as the cook of the four-walled house, her cage.

.... If you think the author is painting a grim picture and providing a pessimistic view of things, who knows for what purpose, you are sadly mistaken. Please do not be surprised if a person you know very well happens to be either the victim/aggressor. Every face has a story to tell.

PS: This post has been written from the Indian mindset. However, talks with my friends from other countries, reveal, that these issues could very well be so, in other countries too. Blame it on the pyschology of the male, that, has been so very well nurtured in all different cultures and religious followings, all across the world.

PS2: An interesting article, on a related theme of violence on women, with the neat solution of "give it to them".

PS3: The reader is strongly recommended to watch the movie, Provoked(2006), which is based on the theme of domestic violence.

People Watching : Laguna Beach....

A series of posts on the SoCal experience. The previous one is on Huntington Beach.

Laguna Beach, a beautiful beach town, of Southern California, is a great spot for people watching. Endowed with a wonderfully curvaceous coastline lined with small mountains and a serene and not-so-crowded beach, this enchanting Laguna Beach further offers a chain of art galleries along the Pacific Coast Highway; apart from the usual entertainment and dine-out places.

It is further known to have a few charming and aesthetically lit, Italian and Mexican restaurants with live music going on inside(appears expensive though!). Some even offer the view of the ocean, more so like, just by the ocean kinds. With this mild introduction to another SoCal wonder, this author of greatly nomadic virtues, keys in a few notable people watching incidents, courtesy those few visits:

• A newly wed couple - the bride in her delicately beautiful virginally white wedding gown, and the bridegroom in his dark black suit, taking a stroll on the wet sands of the beach, with the waves gently caressing the shore. There is that loving interplay between the rays of the sun and the gentle waters of the Pacific Ocean to make it more memorable.
• A couple, presumably, the parents of the bride/ the groom, animatedly taking videos of the newly wed couple on the walk of their lives. Quite understandably, a few relatives also contribute to the festivities.
• A few American adolescent girls, on their girls' day out, totally oblivious of their surroundings, and having a whale of a time. Somehow, it seemed to the author, that the glow on their faces, silently conveyed the fact that they were very much aware of their beauty.
• Some one had written "Spread the love (the symbol of a heart)" on the sands of the beach. There were hearts everywhere, both in action and in words.
• A group of boys, of different nationalities, playing basketball, on the court, by the beach.
• A couple, playing volleyball, just between themselves. A highly impressionable romantic statement of the so-called public display of affection.
• An woman eyeing the author's ice-cream as he was walking down the road. This reminds me of the beautiful ice-cream parlour, Gelato Italiano, with its really soft and it-simply-melts-in-the-mouth ice-creams. The sheer variety of flavors available was bewildering to the author, to say the least. The lady at the counter was at her hospitable best; and in fact, was offering small spoonful offerings of whatever flavour we wanted to help get over the bewilderment.
• An artist at work, painting the beautiful Laguna landscape, in live action, giving finishing touches to his oil painting on canvas, on the pavement of an intersection.
• A couple, sitting on a bench, facing the vast expanse of an ocean. No words spoken. Just, each of them, drinking in the spirit of the surroundings and their partner, in silence. Those moments of silent eloquence.
• A family of four, with the parents watching their kids build a sand-castle.
• Of course, no people watching activity is complete, without a mention of those bicyclists, on their beautiful attires, with their lustful bicycles. What a beautiful way to spend the day, bicycling along the beach!

.... and so on.

A Point of Mention: It is a great mystery to the author as to how he went about writing 85 posts in 2005 alone. Posts have dried up, at a mere 18 for the year of 2007. October 2007, has been a good month for 2007, despite, being just about average by the statistics of 2005. The only silver lining is this present template and layout, which, the author is really really fond of. Suggestions to improve the blog are more than welcome. For those loyal patrons of the blog, a special thank you.

SoCal is Burning....

About twenty wildfires, have been burning since Oct 21, 2007, all along the beautiful Southern California coast, from Santa Barbara to San Diego (and even parts of Baja California, Mexico). With so many homes destroyed and quite a few people dead/injured, Tamaso Ma Jyotir Gamaya prays for the fortitude and the strength for the families of the victims and the brave fire-fighters. A few of my friends and acquaintances had to evacuate their homes; and now, thankfully, things are fine with them. Ironically, natural disasters, often, brings out the best in the people. They show such amazing sense of camaraderie, and concern for fellow human beings and life.

Southern California (SoCal), is a nature-lover's paradise, with its beautiful, pristine, beaches; chapparal based mountains; plain valleys; and the desert vegetation found in Mojave and other places. And, in parts, it is beautifully green too. Surprisingly, this region often records the lowest amount of rainfall, much lower than the national average. This year, the rainfall received has been lower than the driest Death Valley regions of the US. The author wouldn't hesitate to say that SoCal, is a true geographical wonder. The lack of rainfall, dry vegetation and the strong Santa Ana winds, provided, the more than necessary fuel, for these wildfires.

The air is unclean. Lots of small and coarse particulates in the air, that is not good for the lungs. The distinct smoke on the horizon over the usually, beautiful, scenic landscapes. The smell of something is burning. Overall, an atmosphere of gloom and disaster. Around 900,000 evacuations (the largest in peacetime history in the US), huge loss in property, 1500+ homes destroyed, official reports of ten dead and around hundred injured (mostly, those, brave, fire-fighters), overall acreage of burning close to 300,000 acres, four days of continuous burning and spreading due to the winds; this would be in the who's-who list of natural disasters.

*****

The author has been at Madras, Tamil Nadu during the Tsunami disaster of 2004; College Station, TX during the hurricanes Rita and Katrina; Pilani, Rajasthan which experienced mild tremors during the disastrous Gujarat earthquake; and now, the Wildfire 2007 of SoCal. During these times, one is often made to rethink on how insignificant we are, and how, no one can truly stop nature's hath and fury. With so much of a damage to life and property, hell breaks over, and people are always on their toes, wondering as to what would happen next. These are definitely bad times, and no one, really wants disasters.

All these, make the author to wonder, "There is no way of stopping natural disasters. But, then, why not stop all the disasters in the name of war and peace. Iraq, Afghanistan, Sudan, in the modern times, Japan when it was nuked in 1945, etc. must have been subjected to great misery and hell, because of the severe damage to life (infact, the Japanese episode has affected future generations forever) and property (does one count the number of houses shelled and the number of evacuees)." But then, if one were to delve deep into the history of nations, the world has always been in a state of chaos and war. World peace is nothing, but, utopia. This would definitely respect a new post, and the author would like the to end this post, thus,

Life, is the same, everywhere, no matter where.

Indianness XII - Golu....

This post is heavily inspired by two events in the author's life: a friend's seemingly innocuous question, "What is the significance of Golu", and my childhood friend's keeping Golu at her own sweet home. Further, this post is dedicated to all the women in my life, keeping with the spirit of this heavily women-oriented festival of sublime joy.

Golu or Bommal Kolu, is a beautiful tradition followed in the southern parts of India: Tamil Nadu, Karnataka and Andhra Pradesh. Fortunately, for the author, he has been born into a family that is steeply rooted in its influences from all of these three southern states. Moroever, with the heavy migration of people from these places, to all parts of the world, Golu is more or less associated now with the entire world. For e.g. the Malibu temple of Los Angeles, sports its own 11-step and 5-step Golu display for this year. The exact importance given to the odd-numbers is a mystery to many people. The quaint excuse given by many elders is, "Don't question the wisdom of our ancestors". Reading about this fanatically upheld rule revealed interesting insights into the concept of the One. The simplest reasoning would be, there is that enchanting continuity with odd numbers, which is a sign of fertility, prosperity, growth and development.

The Golu is associated with Navratri, the festival of nine nights, to be culminated on the tenth day of Vijayadasami, the day of celebration of the victory of the good over the evil. This festival is usually in the month of October, and the festivities begin in the months of August and September. Usually, the dolls are stored in the attic/ the legacy trunk(s), safely wrapped in pure white dhoti's (now dusty with that claustrophobic smell). To the commands of the women in the house, be it the wife, mother, daughter or sister, the lazy weekends for the menfolk during the month of late August/early September are spent, getting the dolls down from the attic. The womenfolk now proudly take over, having been waiting for this, the entire year.

Ragini erupts with pure joy, when she sees her favorite Saraswathi Devi with her veena again. Raga goes crazy when they take out the cricket set, with its eleven players, and the neat stadium. One by one, the dolls slowly come out. To the dismay of the lady of the house, she, Ravana's nose, in the expensive Shiva-Parvathi set purchased last year, has been broken. Mythology states that Ravana tries to dislodge the divine couple by attempting to shake Mount Kailash, their place of residence. She blames it on her husband for his usual lackadaisical attitude. One can see the stage being set for a battle, when, Ragini smartly chips in, "Amma, why do you worry about Ravana, the evil kidnapper of Sita. Look at this set of Rama, Lakshmana, Sita and Hanuman. Just see, as to how beautiful it is." He gives a naughty, understanding, and an all-knowing you-saved-my-day-i-owe-you-an-ice-cream look to his beautiful daughter.

With that timely distraction in place, Ragini, Amma and Paati/Aji/Avva, get hyper-excited with the dolls to be purchased this time. Not to be left out in this, Raga recommends the new LEGO based "City". He, so as to not be outnumbered by the women in the house, supports his son, telling her, "It is good for them. Encourages them to use their minds. Worth the expense". Paati/Aji/Avva's fear is that such things are purely satanical, and gives Thatha/Aja a look, which makes him tell his son, "They should know the traditions of our culture. Why don't we get a huge marriage-based set this time". Like this, the discussions/ arguments/ suggestions keep going on for most of the weekends. The womenfolk, however know that the final veto lies with them. In fact they would be the ones to make the purchases. Why do we need the menfolk to interfere in these feminine aspects of life. Everything is fine, as long as he doesn't object to the use of the joint-credit-card.

Usually, the family decides on a theme, and it definitely brings out the creative and aesthetic juices flowing in everyone at home. With the dolls purchased, and arranged in a neat odd-numbered-padi stand, with the feminine trinity - Saraswathi, Lakshmi and Parvathi, gracing the highest step, the entire golu display, displays sheer grandeur, majesty, beauty and energy. With the onset of Navarathri, the womenfolk are busy with the sundal preparations. One must admit as to how ingenious our ancestors were, when one thinks of the sheer number of different varieties of the sundal. Friends and relatives, especially, women and girls, are invited. Ragini sports her new peacock blue, pattu-pavadai, and she is beautifully dressed in her new haldi-kumkum Kancheepuram silk saree. Both sport a string of jasmine flowers on their well-oiled, amazingly long, well-braided hair; and are well-dressed with that dash of pottu on their face with the sandalwood powder and fair-and-lovely cream giving it company; and the kajal lining on their eyelashes, with the minimalist glistening gold jewellery, greatly enhancing their beauty.

To the tunes of Himagiri Thanaye, in praise of Parvathi, Ragini's friend captivates the audience, with her sweet, and mellifluous voice. Ragini does a short recital of Jagadhodharana on the Bharatanatyam. The womenfolk sing songs in praise of the divine. Most of the menfolk are blissfully ignored. When such amazingly aesthetic musical festivities are going on inside, Raga is found playing street-cricket with his friends. The menfolk are involved in their seemingly endless and infact, pointless, arguments and discussions on the state of political affairs of the country. One often wonders, families do a better job when it comes to honing the aesthetic sensitivities in a girl. Their main line of reasoning being, "She will go to an another house once she gets married. In times of trouble, when we are not there, only music, dance and arts would help her remain centered."

Time just flies by, and the nine days are over in no time. With almost tears in the eyes of Ragini, she moves the sacred kalasam, signifying the end of Navaratri. But then, there is Vijayadasami, and the eternal favorite of all, Deepavali, to come. The thought of the new crackers to be bought, and the new dresses, makes this compelling and yet painful, routine, of keeping the dolls safely packed, to their journey back to where they came from, the attic/trunk, possible with heavy hearts. From this post, one can evidently see the heavily women-centric nature of this festival. In fact, as men, all that we can do, is to encourage the women to have a great time during this festival. And, it would be a great idea to inculcate/hone the aesthetic sensitivities of the boys too. Think beautiful.

Both these festivals, signify, the victory of the good over the evil. May the force be with all of us. One, doesn't need to crassly generalize such beautiful customs as mere tradition. It is a great quality time with the family for the family. Creative talents are greatly encouraged. The benefits accrued there of are many. In the name of modernism, one often wonders, as to what would happen to such beautiful things that exist in this world. But then, the eternal optimist says, "What has withstood the tests of time, be it the Mughal invasion, dis-unity amongst the people, British rule, etc., will continue to exist. It is just that people would miss out on the beautiful things, rather than, the beautiful things becoming a non-existence". A thing of beauty is a joy forever. A very happy Navaratri to one and all. The author ends this post, with a heavy heart, thus, with one of the most sacred sayings, Tamaso Ma Jyotir Gamaya.

The Fortune Cookie....

Over the past few months, the author used to frequent an Asian diner, by the name, Pei-Wei, with one of his Taiwanese friends. The highlight of the luncheon would be the fortune cookie, something that the author used to look forward to, every time. Whoever, came up with the concept, must have been very spiritually strong.

Similar to Jeeves' buck-me-up potions, these fortune cookies, have the sheer capacity to bring in positive energy and high spirits, over just a piece of paper. Only good things are written out there. Thankfully, the fortune cookie doesn't discriminate too. So, everyone, is positively affected by the same mysterious, wonderful, oracular, prophecising cookie.

This only goes to show, as to how wonderful a strategy it is to, focus and harness on the positive, beautiful aspects of life. If one were to go by the law of averages, the meandering journey of life, would takes us through both the best and worst times of life. It just so happens, that, thinking beautiful, no matter what, helps us face those undeniable moments better.

Further, the concept of focussing on the beautiful, helps one to understand the psychological significance of the age-old custom of seeking blessings from the Divine and the elders. What could be purer than the fact, that, someone thinks highly positive for you, and goes one step ahead, in blessing you. Just to have a dear elder bless, "I am sure you can/ will do it", makes one do things that astound the doer itself.

Think beautiful. Thankfully, there are so many beautiful things in the world. Like someone had said, "Both an optimist and a pessimist have equal chances of winning. It is just that the optimist leads a more exciting life."

A Public Library....

Recently, the author had been to the Newport Beach Public Library, in Newport Beach, CA. It was such a beautiful place, with an amazing collection of books, audio CDs, DVDs, etc. Anything and everything to make you get addicted to that place. With really friendly librarians, beautiful in every sense, it is definitely a heaven on earth.

Moreover, the architecture of the library was amazingly done, so as to allow, natural light to illuminate the interior surroundings, for most of the open hours of the library. Very very environment friendly. The library is open on all days of the week, with 9AM-9PM schedule from M-Th. With a checkout limit of 50, and 5 CDs/DVDs, etc., it cannot get better than this. And if one doesn't default, the services are completely free.

And how can I forget, there was this cute little girl, carrying a pile of Harry Potter books, notably, #4-7, towards the checkout counter. Ms. Rowling has done a fantabulous job with her HP series, and one must bow down in reverence and love to this creative genius. I am sure the little girl will have a great time with those books.

This only made me wonder, "Taxes are fine, as long, as they are put to good use". The goodness and badness of the use is open to interpretation; but then, investing in a public library is definitely good for all. I guess, we all, need to learn a lot from the beautiful things in the world, and hope to be the change we wish to see across in other parts - India and the rest of the world.

A post on a similar theme can be found here.

People Watching : The Indian Experience - I ....

A long-pending post finally gets written now, courtesy, India, celebrating her 60th year of independence; my friend's heavily-flattering appreciation of the people watching section, and my blog-friend's wanting to know more about my concept of Indianness. Most of the incidents given here are now, purely, the author's imagination, and solely, built upon his rich experiences in India.

#1. The Indian Woman (Nari)
There she goes, beautiful in her glamorous Kancheevaram silk saree with a glistening zari border, and a matching blouse; with "minimal" jewellery - matching ear-rings, nose-ring, a necklace, her bangles, her toe-ring, her ring, and her mangalsutra. The red kumkum pottu on her forehead, the mark of nuptial bliss on her parting of the hair, the dab of chandan powder on her face, the kohl lining in her eyes, the virginal red mehendi on her hands, and a string of jasmine flowers on her well-oiled, braided, plait, greatly accentuate her overall beauty. It merits mention that the saree, provides just the right amount of exposure of her delicate skin to both the sun and the human eye. If the husband were a talented vocalist, he would immediately start singing, "Lage tose nain", upon seeing his wife, dressed thus.

#2. The Festival Season

A secular nation with a myriad of customs and cultures, India can easily be regarded as "Europe minus Russia", both in terms of size and the sheer diversity. Further, Hinduism, is characterized by the infinite manifestations of the divine. Each festival has its own appeal, and associated "goodies" therein. Deepavali, Christmas, New Year, Pongal/Sankranti, Holi, Id, Krishnashtami, Buddha Purnima, Mahaveer Jayanthi, Guru Nanak Jayanthi, Ganesh Chaturthi, Dassehra, Saraswathi Puja, etc. Be it the celebration of dolls (Kolu) during Dassehra, the victory of the good over the evil during Deepavali with fire-crackers, the ushering of the new year, the thanksgiving for harvest season during Sankranti, the joy of colors during Holi; the main underlying theme is counting one's blessings in the company of one's near and dear ones. Infact, the entire nation does erupt with pure joy.

#3. The Scene at the Railway Station

With so much of an importance given to the concept of relatives, friends and guests, it is not uncommon for familes to go to the railway stations to send-off/receive their near and dear ones. Moreover, since, the train is the cherished form of transportation for many a person, irrespective of his/her economic status, it is, but, natural that the railway stations are pretty crowded places; thereby providing an amazing setting for the best possible people watching.

An entire coach has been reserved for the bride's marriage party. A group of college students, late adolescents, with their parents and siblings having come to the station to bid them good-bye. A family on a vacation to a distant land in their own country, brimming with excitement. A family reunion in the platform with the long-lost and estranged brother's family coming down over for their niece's wedding. The public service announcements blaring in umpteen languages. Some on a run so as to not miss the train. Jostling and Hustling. A little bit of push here and there. The hawkers and coolies on the platforms. Vocal strains of "coffee-coffee-coffee-ya". An altercation somewhere in the middle of it all between the coolie and the newly-wed couple... and so on.

To be continued....

The Market - The Restaurant - The Game of Street-Cricket - The Indian Classical Music Scene - The Temple Towers - The Brigade Road Experience - The Indian Wedding

The Undeniable Moments...

This post is dedicated to Tara, Jason and John. The author knows that this post is heavily incoherent in nature, with each sentence, being there, just because it needs to be there. Heavily deviant in nature from the original idea. Kindly excuse the so many loose ends.

Most of us, at some point in time or the other, excessively indulge or wallow in self-pity. The moments, often, undeniable and unavoidable, take us by surprise, and further ensue a lot of pain. While experiencing an undeniable moment, one is often tempted to define it as the darkest and the toughest moment in life. The past one's seem bearable when compared to the present one, and the future always holds forth joy and happiness. Who knows as to what the future beckons us with? Thus, we gradually, miss out on the present time of our lives.

Space and time, prove to be one of the most natural healers for such times. Getting immersed in one's passions does help one blissfully become unaware of reality. Often, it so happens, that the mind proves to be treacherous with its tendency of complicating simple things in life and likewise, simplifying the complicated things in life. It doesn't take a long time to make a small worry a big worry and vice-versa. If we finally are able to look at those undeniable moments with clarity and true lack of emotion, we can see, that their purpose is to provide us with some really important lessons for life; and move on in life. The experiences makes us richer in being, well-rounded in thought, and more empathetic in nature.

What is universal, is the fact, that each and every human being has to face these moments at some point in life. Every face has a story to tell. It is all right to indulge in self-pity. It is all right to crib about life. It is all right to be hurt with failures, be they related to academic, professional, financial or matters of the heart. But then, however, there is a limit to all of this. Suddenly, this thought struck me - chaos is all pervasive and is mostly illusory and in the mind. We just need to look deep within ourselves and see that we are blessed in so many different ways, something that we always fail to respect. These "undeniable" moments try to average out the blessings, but then, allowing this to happen, again depends on our own self.

Recently, in one chance conversation with the owner of an Indian restaurant, we got to know that he recently suffered from a stroke affecting the third nerve to his eye; sadly, a totally new case for the doctors. Further, I happened to meet a father, whose 3 year old son, has an acute form of leukemia, for the past 2 years. Today, I met an 8 year old survivor of some form of leukemia, preparing for his 8th marathon. Such a nice person totally exuding with a certain positive energy, despite being in a battle for life. These people are facing the true tough moments in life that are very much real.

With such tremendously huge real undeniable moments in life, does it really matter, if you stand defeated on almost every possible front in your life? Most defeats are usually within our circle of influence and control. But then, when it comes to the body, all other defeats pale in their illusory significance. Each day that we live is a blessing. As my teacher glibly put it, "Ranga, it is best to not compare yourself to anyone. No matter what, there would always be someone better than you, in every aspect in life." Lastly as another of my teacher puts it in one of his favorite songs,

Oh! my mind!

You think you understand so much!

When your own faults and shortcomings have no limits,

You go on looking for blemishes in others!

PS: A post on a similar theme can be found here; and a post on blessings in general.

Sanatana Dharma....

Disclaimer: The author is a Hindu, well, more of a pantheist. He respects all religions and belief systems. He is not in a position to draw parellels between the many religions. Nor is he an authority on the principles of any religion. The viewpoints presented out here are solely his. Some could be credited to certain conversations with his friends. If there be a pro-Hindu tinge, it would be more of a sub-conscious shade.

Hinduism, the Sanatana Dharma, is more a way of life, or so they say. One of the few philosophical systems with a neat response to the conundrum of the "Problem of Evil", it is veritably in great danger right in its own homeground - India. A gradual and slow erosion of Hinduism, by far, one of the most tolerant belief systems in the world, is clearly evident.

Most politicians, refrain from the Hinduism chime. While one section is jingoistic in its behavior towards Hindutva, the other section (majority) distances itself from Hinduism. While, Hindutva or the so-called "Hindutva jihadi's" have come to tarnish the pro-tolerant pantheist image of Hinduism, little is being done to restore this system to its original glory. Sadly and unfortunately, Hindutva has come to mean Hinduism. The pro-Hindutva group does as much damage as the pro-secular group.

Certain thought-provoking instances in the life of the author and around him are cited below:

• The Kuala Lumpur International Airport, Malaysia; boasts of a first-class facility. It further provides a separate prayer room for Muslims. With due respect to Muslims, and their prayer schedules, Malaysia is free to do what it wants to. Moreover, Islam is the majority religion in Malaysia. But then, why does anything related to a temple bound to create a great controversy in India?


• One of my good friends told me that he couldn't find a place to eat in Qatar, during his transit on his way to India from the US, during the Ramadan month. How can an international airport not service its visitors with the basic amenities of water and food? Not everyone in the world is a Muslim, right?


• In the United States, the author has met quite a few missionaries trying to convert the author. With all due respect to Christianity, why is it that people want others to convert to their religion? Is it a sign of insecurity? All religions are beautiful on their own, and no religion prescribes the victory of the evil over the good. If that were be so, then, why should one necessarily have to declare, "My way is the only way; and yours is a path to perdition".


• Few people understand Hinduism. Most of the people of the author's generation are disenchanted with the heavy ritualistic principles of the same with their apathy intensified due to the esoteric nature of its sacred texts. Sanskrit is known to only a few, and we ourselves define our own limits by not taking any step towards learning Sanskrit. Even otherwise, transliterations of most of the works are available. Then, what is stopping us?


• The increasing breed of a class that goes about professing atheism, agnosticism, religious humanism, etc. Of course, when it is a conscious decision towards embracing such a philosophical system, it is well within one's own fundamental rights and independence. But, when it is more like a rebellion against the established norms of the society or as an ostracization of the "rustic" religious/spiritual beliefs of the age-old systems; so as to be labelled hip amongst one's peers, it is a clear sign of immaturity.


• Most of India's political policies center around the appeasement of the minorities. One can get away with almost anything in the name of secularism. Poor maintenance and sheer neglect of the astonishingly beautiful temples of India is one such example. So many temples in the south are in decay and no politician ever talks of their renovation, because is is not a secular thing to do.


• Most of the Hindu Brahmins, related to the priestly class are poor. They depend on the religious functions for a living, and their remuneration is not high. Their salaries for being temple priests is not high. Their standard of living is mediocre and they often find it difficult to educate their children and get their daughters married. However, the Indian political system recognizes them as being amongst the Forward Community, despite their economic backwardness, and fails to encourage their children. This article reads " Are brahmins the dalits of today". An obviously better yardstick would be a classification on the basis of their economic status; and reservation, if necessary, based on that classification. An even better solution would be to focus on the paradigm of primary education for all.


• The sheer apathy to the actual living conditions of Hindus because of its anti-secularism viewpoint is making India blind to one of the most ancient spiritual systems of the planet. With most systems advocating the middle path, why is that the so-called proponents or followers fail to do so? Why does the word Islam, one of the most beautiful religions and the fastest growing religion of the world, raise fear in us? In a way, Islam is also in danger. The heavy influence of the state on the church is detrimental to Christianity too.

As an analogy, music exists in various forms with its foundation being on the essentials of rhythm, melody, harmony and bass. Each form of music generates its own unique appeal and aesthetic bliss. If that were to be so, then, how can anyone claim as to what he/she is passionate about is the only way and the only way to bliss? What about the so many other people for whom the form they like is their religion? Does that mean that the other forms are nothing but noise?

Lastly, the renaissance for this spiritual system would come from the West. The author is amazed to see so many people dedicating their entire lives towards the study of the Hindu texts, Hindu way of life, etc. out here in America. The chantings of Bhajans in the heavily accented tones and the respect for Yoga, Kriya, Satsang, meditation, etc. that people have out here is heavily inspiring to the author. Most people in America have their basic comforts taken care of. In the sense, one need not be worried about the acute water problem or frequent load-shedding of electricity. Like Swami Vivekananda once said, "Spirituality is for the rich".

Importantly, why cannot one live and let live others too?

People Watching: Huntington Beach

Huntington Beach, one of the beach towns of Southern California, has a long stretch of a pier extending onto the ocean for about 0.6 miles. It does give the bystander with a brilliant top view and side view of the majestic waves of the beautiful Pacific. A thrilling experience, and the first of its kind amongst the quite a few beach experiences for the author. In an absolutely wonderful romantic locale, people watching was the next best thing to do for the author.

• A couple on a walk with their baby on a stroller, with the moonlight being a welcome companion.
• A rather young couple who would have made the French real proud, courtesy their kissing style.
• The young lady surf-riding on the pure white waves, despite the untimeliness(?) of it all. The spirit of adventure and the passion for following one's own passion.
• Groups of people trying out their luck fishing. One poor fish, being a victim, grappling for its own life.
• A group of "old" ladies on a walk.
• An old couple walking hand-in-hand, totally oblivious of the surroundings.
• A family with their family friends having a great conversation on the waterfront.
• A girl posing for a photo amidst a real dark black background of the limitless expanse of the ocean.
• A man sitting on a bench and smoking a cigar.

Malignant Cancer III : Atrocities on women...

The author happened to watch 1947-Earth, a film by Deepa Mehta, recently. It is a romantic love(?)-triangle, set amidst the backdrop of the partition of India. This post, as a reaction, serves as a medium to express the author's opinion and anguish.

Since time immemorial, women have been subject to various atrocities, be it, physical or emotional. In one of the conversations with my Persian friend, she put it very brusquely as, women are told to prize their virginity, in the most discreet manner. As an aside, the society is such that a man need not prize his virginity. Naturally, parents warn their daughters to be careful of every other man that they would meet, be it the public transportation system, school, office, playground, etc. The fear of being touched looms large. All men are generalized as a class of sex-craven and sex-deprived maniacs.

If we deeply think about the reasons for the so-many atrocities being committed on women, in the name of love-turned-obsession, religion, war, riots, male ego, etc., it boils down to this shocking revelation. Man uses a woman to give vent to his frustration. What else would otherwise be the reason for women being raped, or their breasts being cut from their bodies. Not to forget, a gang-rape. Is it all about the insertion of the man's penis into a woman? The counter example of a woman cutting a man's penis is rare.

If one were to look into the atrocities committed on the women all across the world, one can very easily sense the same attitude everywhere. Certain examples are given below for the sake of completeness:

• The war victims - be it the women of China during WWII, or those of the colonised latin american/ asian/ african countries.
• The husband raping his wife during the first night; A cold-blooded, yet, warm-blooded head of the family, giving vent to his frustrations on his unfortunate wife.
• The Hindu women in Pakistan, and the muslim women in North India during the partition of 1947; the Hindu women in Bangladesh during 1991 following the Babri-Masjid episode, etc.
• It is not healthy for a widow to experience feelings of love or lust.
• Women, stripped bare, and lynched in public; in various parts of the world.
• In Cameroon, women are "breast-ironed", ao as to reduce their chances of becoming rape victims.
• Women, forced to adopt burqa, so that, their body remains concealed so as to not give an iota of scope for a man to imagine how she would be naked.
• Female infanticide, because a girl child is a burden.
• Pouring acid on her face because she didn't reciprocate his feelings of love(?)
• Forcing his way onto her, when she is way advanced in her pregnancy. Making her work, beating her up, etc. during this critical time.
• Not allowing a woman to succeed in her professional life, because it would hurt the male ego.

....

If this post leaves you with a feeling of disgust, anguish and helplessness, then, it has served its purpose.

PS: The author is neither a male chauvinist nor a feminist.

Indian Mythology : Karna.....

Karna, the son of Kunti, from the Mahabharatha, portrays an immensely powerful character in the epic. Being one of the dearest friends of Duryodhana, he is loyal to him through thick and thin. Despite being in the "evil" camp, there are certain amazingly great qualities of him worth discussing about out here. He is often considered to be an epitome of the concept of a friend and that of a giver amongst mortals - the one who gives all that he can without any complaint and with his pound of flesh, if needed.

Karna was cursed by his teacher for telling him a lie about his upbringing. A kshatriya, by birth, he lies to his teacher that he is a brahman, for fear of rejection as his disciple. The curse, in fact, proves fatal to him in the end. He loses the capacity to remember what has been taught to him, when he needs that knowledge the most. A very pitiable state, wherein what has been yours, and yours alone, is no longer yours. Akin, to your soul deserting the vehicle of the body, mind and the heart.

In hindsight.....

As my teacher put it, "In hindsight, you can always do things better".

Roti, Kapda aur Makaan.....

This post is dedicated to the homeless people of the world, be it LA or Madras or Garfur or Rio de Janeiro.

In a world, where the word "success" has to do a lot with money and fame, the basic tenets of roti, kapda aur makaan veritably serve as the quantifying measures of the intangible success. Everything that one is taught or forced to do in the so-called game of the "survival of the fittest" has to do with sense gratification in the form of these materialistic goodies. One has to study well, get into a good school, get a good job, build a house, have a family to make the house a home, procure a vehicle for personal transportation, etc. Else, the other route of business or politics. Very few times, does the pursuit of a fine art, lead to this materialistic success. Crass commercialization of arts and dependence on arts for non-aesthetic and non-spiritual reasons can be a tough task at hand.

Well, whatever be the vocation, accumulation of wealth due to one's own value, has been the norm of the game. But then, even when these are fulfilled, are people happy? Isn't the pursuit of happiness utopian? The state of being happy is more like an orgasm. You follow a specific course of action, build towards the climax, and explode in that bursts of happiness. At times, the bursts of happiness could be those spasms of pain when the "unavoidable" happens. Naturally, people seek solace in spirituality or a healthy pastime or social service or whatever to help get over the mundaneness in life. Nevertheless, despite the mundaneness, at every stage in life, one often has something to look forward to.

Despite the socialist tinge to the post, the author doesn't hate capitalism. Nor does he love socialism. Both are theories that are not great in practice. Reservation for these underprivileged people towards the basic right of education might still be acceptable, if it is towards the more fundamental primary education. However, using reservation or the principle of diversity to foster the needs of the creamy layers (people who belong to the underprivileged category but are actually more than just privileged) within these sections is abominable. Using this same theory as a one-point agenda to further one's own vested political interests in the name of vote-bank politics is even more detestable. Anyway, this point is a digression from the actual topic.

The author met a homeless person, sleeping on the road, with all his belongings, under the sky with Mercedes' Benz's cruising by. I am sure there are quite a few of them in the various parts of the world. They must be having a private laugh at the ways of the world, despite their moments of sadness.

A section of the world aghast at the early exits of India and Pakistan in the ongoing cricket world cup. War happening in few parts of the world. Certain countries exercising their monopoly of trade over others. A few policing the world. Somewhere in the world, someone must not be happy with his/her job. She must have fought with him. A person complaining about the food that was served for dinner. The neighbour's beautiful daughter getting married to the love of her life. Music concerts in the name of humanity. A couple on a honeymoon. Quite a few mad politicians mad at the court of justice quoting injustice. A politician being indicted of corruption charges or a sex scandal. A prostitute offering her body and not her spirit for money. Quite a few persons experiencing orgasm due to sex at this moment. A teenager spending his/her pocket money on expensive clothing. Another teenager (includes elders too) confused about his/her sexual feelings. A person praying to Him/Her.What is the Bible, Koran and the Gita. A person in silent meditation. A person dancing to the tunes of Samba with his/her partner. A man ogling at a woman's well-endowed breasts. A woman lusting for the tall, dark and handsome prince. A child playing the game of hide-and-seek with its friends. A youth apprehensively pondering about the future. Who is Pamela Anderson?.....

Mad, mad, mad, world. But, then, I, am homeless. No makaan. No wife. No children. No education. No money. No roti. No kapda. No respect from others. Is life beautiful? But then, what do I have? Spiritual strength... and no ego and neither hatred nor love for humanity.

Associative Nostalgia : Circle of Life...

This post is inspired by one of the most brilliant views on the circle of life (a view so generously shared with me, by one of my friends). Hence, this post is rightfully dedicated to that friend. This is further dedicated to all the people in my circle of life (of the past, the present and the future), "May the force be with you all and may all your dreams come true".

A shocking inclusion under the category, "Associative Nostalgia", right? The circle of life follows the Principle of Conservation of Life. It can be looked upon as a renewable source of energy, wherein people come and go. There is thankfully, that continuous replenishment, that helps one move on in life. A heavily dynamic reservoir; and two old friends meeting after a long time, is akin, to two small streams gushing to meet each other.

A classic example is the case of your childhood friends. Life revolved around them, and life without them seemed impossible. But then, now, how many of us would be in touch with the best friends of our childhood? When, winning a match or a competition, learning to ride a bicycle, or going to an exhibition or a book-fair, seemed to be so much more enjoyable because of them. When birthdays of ours and theirs were intricately woven moments of great joy!

From then on, the friends from our schools, colleges, universities, etc. The advantage of a hostel-based college environment is the numerous friendships that develop because of the constrained setting. A time, when most adolescents, would be venturing out into the world to start their chosen way of life and a time, when emotions, infatuations, curiosities, discoveries, etc. seem universal and a rightful means of bonding. When friendships begin to blossom, when we have all beautifully converged, we are all violently thrown apart, courtesy the differing paths we happen to chose.

But then, life has to move on. Each stage in life leads you to the phase, where everything familiar has disappeared, and you need to start afresh. As the last strip of C&H poignantly says, "A new magical world full of new possibilities to explore" emerges. An exception would be those rare relationships/friendships that continue to blossom despite the physical distances. Blessed are such relationships. But then, when old friends meet, the bonding remains. The past and the associative nostalgic feelings related therein, fortunately or unfortunately, remain.

Thus, it can be summarized as follows. People, come and go. We interact with a lot of them, so as to recognize the right ones that come along. At times, people come into our lives in the most unexpected manners, when we least expect them. Each person graces our life with a purpose - to provide a lesson or two and help us in our journey.

A journey where we are all meandering rivers in search of the sea.

A journey where we might take difficult or easy paths to reach the sea.
A journey where we would encounter various obstacles and difficulties.

A journey where "even the weariest river, ends up in the sea".

People who can teach, teach....

This post is dedicated to all my teachers. A Guru Vandana.

Very few people have that capacity to teach and inspire their students; be it your kind-hearted and loving kindergarten or primary school teacher, the professor at college/ grad school, the mentor at workplace, the guru (dispeller of darkness) when it comes to music, spirituality, or whatever. Having said this, it doesn't hurt to mention that people who can teach, teach. I have been fortunate enough to come across a few amazing teachers in my real life.

It surprises many when I tell them about the fabulous maths tuition teacher during high school. He covered the entire math syllabus for IIT-JEE without using a black (for that matter, white) board. Not to forget those two amazing chemistry teachers. Having studied in a variety of schools, the author was fortunate to interact with so many good-natured people. Despite the occasional scoldings and "punishments", they were all good at heart.

Most school teachers were passionate about what they taught. But then, when this becomes the very source of livelihood, the reality does tend to portray a different scenario. Most schools start early to avoid the typical "rush-hour". This just makes it all the more tougher for the lady teachers because of their inherent responsibilities in a typical Indian home. Sadly, their pay is not that high (as compared to those what-miracle-happened kind of jobs) with meagre if not nil insurance benefits.

At college, it is a totally different scenario. It is a completely difficult prospect to teach adults. But then, the importance of a sound undergraduate education cannot be overemphasized. Here is where, the youth gets inspired on what they would want to do for their life. But for people who do not attend classes, they learn it the hard way. A sound understanding of the fundamentals cannot be obtained by just cramming at the last minute without attending classes. But then, this is a common feature in most undergraduate places of learning. Does this require a change in the mindset of the student or the teachers.

The most difficult task at hand is to impart the right knowledge in the right fashion to people who are undergoing their graduate study. Too much spoonfeeding is not warranted, and making the course as a catalog of all there is in the world totally unwanted. Here is where the idiom, "People who can teach, teach" comes to my mind. I have met a few teachers who are more interested in imparting the depth than the breadth. Likewise, a great researcher need not be a great teacher and vice-versa. But then, there are those few people, who achieve greatness in both.

The fundamental reason why teachers become teachers is because of their passion for the field of their interest. To inspire, disseminate and to learn. As Richard Feynman had said somewhere, "No question is profound or silly. More often than not, the doubt a student asks is on the neighbourhood of a potentially important problem. And for researchers whose neurons get tired of thinking out of the box at times, teaching thus becomes a highly refreshing activity". Thus, teachers also gain a lot from this venture.

Lastly, but most importantly, the most important set of teachers are those related to a person's personal life. And amongst the umpteen, only a few, do something to possibly bring a remarkable sense of direction in the student's life.

PS: The reader is recommended to read this post on a similar theme, posted long ago.

Now vs. Later...

This post is dedicated to my cubicle-mate, Saeed, who has judged and gauged me pretty well, especially when it comes to my trysts with last minute efforts. He was of the opinion, "Ranga, just finish it off today(Tuesday), instead of waiting till Thursday morning (for a deadline on Thursday)". All said and done, procrastination happens to be one of the most charming personalities that successfully ends up seducing most of us. The loss of generality prohibits me from calling this person, one of the most, enchanting and gorgeous seductress for women are also prone to procrastinate.

So, there are two obvious paradigms when it comes to atleast trying to get things done. "Finish it off now" vs. "Let me do it later". It is a battle of Energy vs. Lethargy out here. While tremendous pressure with little time left to meet a deadline can be nerve-wracking, at times, it can also be highly productive. And in most cases, when one is totally clueless as to how to proceed in a particular direction, what is one to do? For that I believe, one of the professors at Stanford, recommends, "the best way to start is to start". Then, there is the famous Nike ad of "Just do it".

Well, why is it that procrastination tends to seduce us all(well, I hope I am not entirely unjustified in making this assumption) despite the knowledge of how great life would be if we were to not procrastinate. Can this be safely extended to why evils continue to exist or rather, have been existing for all these years - be it lust, avarice, hatred, etc. despite the knowledge of how great life would be without these. Does this all boil down to the human nature and the numerous neurons within us.

The Underdog....

Whom would you support in an evenly contested battle between David and Goliath? Doesn't it sound more romantic and adventurous to root for the victory of the underdog. In hopelessly lopsided contests where a person/team puts in no effort for a fight, the more efficient and superior opponent does have to be the winner, so as to ensure, "Rewards for hard work".

More often than not, one tends to be heavily partisan in support towards one's favorite sportsperson/team/country. But isn't it more interesting when Nigeria beats Brazil in Football, or when Bangladesh beats Australia in Cricket? In the true spirit of the game or enterprise, there is no single winner or loser for the journey is more important than the destination. Thus, hopefully, the day of the underdog isn't far enough.

Last week saw me rooting for the trailing-behind team (the underdog) in an evenly contested match between the New England Patriots and Indianapolis Colts. The Colts finally won, courtesy a last minute touchdown, after coming from behind 3-21, to lead 32-13, and then to be down 31-34 (well, the numbers are important, but then, more important than that is the trend of the game). I was wavering between both the teams, but then, my heart did finally go out for the "losers". Such is the glory and beauty of sport.

At a more personal level, wouldn't it better to seek, suffer and then soar, instead of, inescapably falling down from a great height due to conceit, ignorance and arrogance. Aren't we all underdogs in all that we do? Don't we all have so much to strive for, with perfection being a mere illusion. If so, then, why is it that the ego always remains conceited?

Indianness XI : India and the West...

This post is inspired by quite a few incidents in the author's life - notable amongst them being the recent trip to India, the visit to ISKCON temple, LA today, and R K Narayan's essay on a similar theme. One of my friends was of the opinion that India would get back most of its values from the West (a sign of the times). Another quote from Swami Vivekananda, about spirituality being for the rich, comes to my mind at this juncture.

India, has been endowed with a rich heritage of enigmatic spiritual outlooks, tolerant religious values, and scintillating musical systems. While, the Indian is definitely more interested with the daily issues of roti, kapda aur makan, the non-Indian looks at India as a place filled with mystics. They think India is all about caste system, yoga, transcendental meditation, carnatic music, hindustani music, esoteric dances, folklore, mythology, and the sacred cow. For us, Indians, it is all about economic development, technology transfer, infrastructure, 120 kmph highways, cell phones, literacy, etc.

Thus, the Indian is more interested in his Western counterpart, while the Westerner looks towards India seeking a deeper purpose. One day, the West would come to India for its values and India would go to the West for its own values.

Certain recent trends in India, US and elsewhere:

• The increasing number of new-age spiritual organizational bases in the West, The Art of Living, ISKCON, etc. with more people getting interested into Yoga, Pranayama, Kriya, Bhagavad Gita, Bhagavat, Krishna, etc. One American lady had asked this profound question to the bemused author, while finding her way to the ISKCON temple, "Where is this place called Govinda?" I am sure that the realization of Govinda would be a sublime quest for many of us.
• The author had attended Veena E Gayathri's recital in a temple at Mylapore, Madras during the December season. He found a few Americans seated in the front, greatly enjoying the performance. This is often a point of condescension amongst the Indian music connoisseur (a purist) who wonder, "What do they understand about our music?". But then, isn't music all about transcending all barriers and touching the soul? However, language does continue to be a problem for us and them when it comes to vocal music.
• The American disciples of Ustad Ali Akbar Khan and Pandit Ravi Shankar, who have been under their tutelage for close to 30-35 years. Further, it must be noted, that they had made this shift post their formative years, after nearly 30 years of a life richly soaked in Western Classical and Jazz.
• Most Indian Classical music concerts that the author has been to in the US, has had a fair representative audience of the Americans. The appeal of the drums (in their language) - the Tabla and the Mridangam and their intimate connection to the rhythmic patterns. When will we ever learn this magnificent tolerance?
• The author was surprised to find a bus driver get a phone call as he was making a left turn in a busy intersection in Madras. He promptly answered the phone (after taking the turn) and informed the caller, that he is on so-and-so road, and on this trip. Auto drivers are very professional these days by giving visiting cards with cell numbers to their passengers.
• On this similar theme of cell phones, a salesman in a home applicance shop in Madras was astonished and shocked to find the author without a cell phone connection. He veritably treated the author as an alien. He unfortunately happened to be a salesperson of washing machines and not cell phones. Thus, with this dichotomous state of existence, I am an alien both in the US and the India.
• The golden quadrangle, esp. the highway from Madras to Bombay is great with cars like Maruti Swifts, presumably one of the best cars in the Indian market according to some so-called automobile experts, doing a 120-130 kmph. The only irritant proved to be the ignorant villager, who assumed the two-lane one-way highway to be a two-way and continued to live in that state of ignorance to the angst of the car drivers.
• The American mind's obsession with elephant rides in India. I have often been asked, (well, to be exact, atleast once for sure), "Do people ride on elephants in India". I am sure they must be amazed to know that India is fast trying to catch up with the highly efficient and mundane road system of the West. (It is the same everywhere. Green boards, broad roads, same chain of stores everywhere.)
• In most heritage sites in India, the Westerner is treated with more respect. He/she shells out more for the services rendered, be it the entry ticket, the guide, whatever. He/she is more likely to buy merchandise as memorabilia at one of the most bullish prices around.
• The same preferential treatment can be seen in the Indian craft emporia. What would an average Indian do with a handicraft, priced 2000 INR (for the Indians) or at 100 USD (a special price for them), when the money could see him/her through a month's expenses in provisions?

All said and done, the quality of life in India is really high. If all goes well, give India a few decades to catch up to the West. India has issues to take care of. India shining has a long way to go. However, one fervently hopes, that all this is not at the cost of erosion of Indian values.