Who defines beauty in a woman? One of my friends went this far to comment that He/She made women during his/her free time with great creativity and craftsmanship. Most romantic images, be it words, pictures, poems, paintings, songs, etc. have emphasised greatly on this feminine beauty. There does happen to be a rich repertoire of metaphors ascribed to the concept of feminine beauty, grace and charm.
Images of lust conjure up in the minds of young men and old men too, and preferences seem to be greatly different. Men, especially when in a group, "critically" rate the women under their purview on a scale of 10. I have known places where they have great means of referring to the women in question and consideration. For e.g. say 3 o'clock can be given a CGPA (Cumulative Grade Point Average) of 6. The other would say, "Oh! Come on. She deserves more." Guess, this is a routine in the life of an average male. That is the irony of it all. The average male passes critical reviews on the beauty of women, totally unconscious of his lack of masculine beauty or handsomeness.
Can everyone be a diva or a madonna or the perfect epitome of a well-chiselled sculpture? What about the less fortunate ones. Does beauty translate to the plane of materialism where it boils down to just the physical structure. What about the inner beauty which when rightly appreciated would overwhelm the most stoic of a person himself? Sadly, with so much emphasis being placed on the physical beauty, women strive their best to uphold the norms of the masculine society. Women less endowed would be wrongly judged and would have to live with that inferiority complex for ever.
But then, are the women less beautiful in the eyes of the cruel world really not happy? Are they single. Don't they find their someone somewhere? The only thought that comes to my mind is the poem about Laila and Majnu, that has been beautifully captured with words by Rumi.
A gist of it is this.
Caliph : Laila, What did Majnu see in you? You are just like any other ordinary woman.
Laila : In the eyes of Majnu, I am the most beautiful woman; and your eyes are simply not his.
It is time, we as men, learnt to reach out towards the inner beauty in a person. I guess the same applies to women too. The inner beauty is neither feminine nor masculine. It is something, which, both men and women possess; and which remains pregnant most of the time within the person. It gives birth when the doors of the impregnable fortress, read the soul, open through the means of connectivity, with an another soul.
PS: This article is on women from the point of view of men. I do not know about the other side's opinions on men.
PS2: Lastly, this article is dedicated to my friend, (let it be anon.), who triggered it all off today, with his seemingly innocuous comment mentioned earlier on.
PS3: The previous thread on beauty of a different kind is also beautiful in its own sweet way.
10 comments:
It is really nice to hear a guy stand up for the inner beauty of people!
I was waiting for someone to talk abt it but what i find is all Adv by anons here,I wanted to say somuch on this,dont know how far i will make sense.Unfortunately I live in a country where fairness creams and beauty products which show women as Divas have large mkt base.this is the same country where a girls allinace is decided obased on how she looks and how fair she is {Why,the ppl who are not fair r not worth a companion?} Unfortunately we still live in such world where Physical beauty gets so imp.
Now,i will tell u some of my exp,in the blogworld people admire AKRUTI and love to read the posts and in the context i get n number of mails and a few to which i reply and down the lane it grows into a bond,But lately i realised that i few {specially guys} always wants to know how i look,and mind u,they predict,expect and feel that Neelima is as beautiful as her blog akruti is and when they see the real simple and average girl who writes this blog they r shocked{ a few i mean}
Infact i know a few who after seeing my picture drifting away,How unfortunate,But then Life is like that,never ffair enough,FOR ME WHAT IS MORE IMP IS HOW I FEEL AND HOW I LEAD MY LIFE,NOT HOW I LOOK,Wish we can live with the fact that inner beauty remains forever,and wish we had people who can see that.
Phew,dont know whats wrong with blogger today,instead of giving my blogname it is showing my name in the comments:((( anyways,i took lots of ur place today.But the post was something which i can relate to:)
Anon. : Well, I would like to know about the reactions of people. This is a case of shattering the glass. Why is it that we are taught to not break glass - which is one of the cheapest possible products.
Thanks for your comments.
Neelima: I don't blame anyone. I am not a saint myself. But, I am learning. The only thing I can promise, is that I stand by what I write; and I want to write to make people think. It is all right even if they do not concur with me. If they can think can come up with their answers, then I would be really happy.
Why do you call yourself as a "real simple and average girl"? Man is his best friend and is his own worst enemy.
Thanks for your comment. To see what the world thinks on this topic, just google "Beautiful women" and have a look at what google gives.
But then, as long as people, even a single one, can appreciate and connect to the inner beauty in someone, the world would be fine as it is. It is foolishness to even dream that the world would change its way of thinking.
Akruti: I remember my comment to your post on "Music and Me". You need not apologise for the long comments.
I relate to the blog from a personal experience too. I had been taking Latin Dance Classes last semester. There happened to be real fat, disproportionate, lady who was real nervous about coming there. I admired her for her guts and willingness to learn. We as guyz, had to select our partners for a dance and vice versa. But, unfortunately, she was always alone, and a guy without a partner would then approach her. I had danced with her a few times. But, still couldn't help wondering about the woman, who had been so ruthlessly rejected by the world.
The other day, I had been shopping to Office Depot. I found a similar fat, disproportionate woman with the love of her life. She looked beautiful because he saw the beauty in his own eyes. So, the world is not that bad.
That is the irony. People seldom care to get to know the inner you. Every Indian guy dreams of Ash, Madhuri, Simran or whoever... and girls are not far behind in admitting that Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, etc. appeal to them.
We seem to have gotten into this vicious circle.
At the cost of sounding prejudiced, I wish to say that the tendency towards outward beauty is not as much in women as it is in men. The same Ash or Simran chose a not-so-great-looking Vivek Oberoi or her childhood chum as their life-partners and not a Tom-Cruise or a Brad-Pitt....
Whereas women look for maturity, responsibility and intelligence while choosing their life-partners, I've seen many a girl facing rejection simply on the basis of her colour or her looks or that she is fat.
Nobody cares to see whether she writes well or sings well or has a great job or a wonderful heart or a purpose to life and would add meaning to her man's life.
On the other hand, from my personal experiences, I am really happy to note the emergence of a new, educated, highly refined group of men who look deeper than the skin. You for one ...Ranga, who came up with this wonderful post !
May your tribe increase !
Shalini: Well, firstly, you have learnt the art of flattery. :)
Lets not argue about the sensibilities of men and women out here. I do not know much about the other side to actually comment. You might feel that Vivek Oberoi is not-so-good-looking, but then, there must be girls drooling over him (pardon the usage of this word).
I seriously do not know as to what women want. Power, Sensibility, Money, Fame, ??? or as you say, the good things in life - responsibility, maturity, intelligence or all of them.
Lastly, I believe that men and women are one and the same, might be strictly against the Mars/VEnus theory. Guess, men should also look for the same goodies in women - responsibility, maturity and intelligence.
Errr,if i am not wrong u got confused i guess,both neelima and akruti is me only:) and yes,being plump is one thing which many girls find it difficult to comprehend with,i am myself plump and when my mom says i have got beautiful eyes which can express everything i used to tell her that she is lying:) But confidence can do wonders to ur life,i am confident abt myself now,I dont let rejections rule my head,but then i have no guts to face it either,there r somany things i leave alone just because i dont want to be made fun abt,i know a student of mine who wants to learn dance but she feels she is plump and ppl will laugh at her,i understand it completely,But as they say,aBelieve in ur self and LIFE WILL BE BEAUTIFUL
Akruti/Neelima: I know that Akruti is how the blogworld knows Neelima. Well, I just wanted to honour, whatever be the reason that made you write under Akruti. :)
Yes. Confidence can do wonders to a person. We often fail to do what we would love to do, because we bring others into the picture. Stop worrying about the reaction of the others, and lead a life as you want to. I didn't take dance lessons during my final year of UG because of that very reason only. :(
Moreover, instead of relying on the paradigm or vision of "Life will be beautiful", I suppose it would be better to think about it as "Life IS beautiful".
Keep smiling, come what may.
Well, difficult things. Sometimes, it is easier said than done. But, then a Man/Woman is always on the path.
PS: Believe me, no soul likes rejections. I guess it would be best to treat them as lessons with the hope of finding the true someone somewhere soon.
The sweetest thing on earth is hope.
Hi there,
Very well written indeed.....and the truth remains that men go hand in hand with lust (no offence intended).
To sum all that you have said, "beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder".
cya..
priyanka: I believe lust is an essential part of the learning process. Salvation knocks on the doors of sin and suffering.
Post a Comment