Justifications....

Justification is an heightened form of insecurity. The author has come across so many people, including himself, who justify almost anything and everything that they do on the earth. Often, when one faces a dilemma, he/she thinks that he/she is taking the road less travelled. This is fine for the purposes of personal satisfaction. But then, what about this paradigm - "There were no two roads in the first place".

Every hobby, sensibility, action, thought-process, passion, profession, way of life, religious preference, sexual preference, etc. needs to be justified. At times, amongst the people in the circle of life; and most times, with the conscience. I have come across so many cases, that it only makes me all the more bewildered. Does the human being need so much attention/acceptance amongst the self and his/her circle of life?

When you love what you do, why should it be justified?

To highlight a few of the often come across cases, with no need for any justifications whatsoever, (given along with a few of the author's comments):

• I want to serve my country. I do not want to spend my life outside India. I have my parents to take care of.

Do they think twice before working for an MNC? What about entrepreneurships and work related to the social sector?

• Why should Hindustani Classical Music system give so much importance to time? Isn't it foolish? Cannot the musician bring about the moods and emotions along with those related to time by playing soulfully?

Who is more qualified to pass such a judgement? You, me or the legendary legends who have embraced the practice of time for centuries?

• I cannot do a PhD. I am not fit for it. It is not a lucrative affair, and involves spending 4-5 years of prime time.
  

No comments.

• Life in US is great. I like it. I cannot imagine going back to India. I like this freedom and the exposure to an international way of life.

What makes you look down upon the Indian way of life? What about the 20+ years of life over there? Isn't life in the US a big compromise too? Don't you seek the very Indianness that you look down upon there, here?

• What am I doing here in India while most of my friends are in the US? What sort of work am I doing?

The grass is always green on the other side. Unknown to many, life in the US has its own fair share of trials and tribulations. Work anywhere, can get mundane. It all depends on being at the right time, right place, right group, right work environs and right company.

• What is Western Classical Music? Very rigid. It doesn't appeal to me.

Ignorance is not bliss. It would be better not to pass judgements without being in a position to do so. Bach, Beethoven and Mozart have survived for centuries. Your liking it or not liking it doesn't really matter. Blessed are the souls (kindly exclude me) who can appreciate fugues, counterpoint and harmony.

• Classical music is not for me. It is highly evolved and beyond my comprehension.

Giving up without trying is plain cowardice and lack of strength. Classical music has that innate power to sustain and enchant our lives. Be it carnatic, hindustani or western. They are all no doubt, highly sophisticated and evolved. But then, aren't we getting into a Catch-22 situation by avoiding them?

• Reading books is a waste of time. There are better things to do than that.

When one counts the hours wasted everyday doing nothing, reading books is definitely not a waste of time. Arts, be it literature, painting, sculpture, music, cinema - are the most powerful forms of human expression.

• I love management. It being a more lucrative option just happens to be so. All technical persons finally end up on the management route, managing projects and people. Let me get into it right after my engineering.

With no offence meant to people related to management, some jobs essentially involve selling soaps. It is perfectly fine if you love management and quit the technical side. However, there is no need for any justification.

• How can you love that piece of trash? (book/music/movie/whatever)

Space and Time.....

The only constant thing in life is change. People change. We change. Our goals and ambitions change. Our outlook changes. The people we interact with changes. The people who embrace our lives changes. At each point in time, people come, provide invaluable lessons, and continue on their paths of calling. Every person graces our life for a reason. We interact with so many, so as to better appreciate the right ones that come along.

So, can we expect a friendship/relationship to be constant and eternal with respect to space and time. The author is at a new place, and most of the people in his circle of life are physically away (thankfully, not emotionally). With each being deeply involved in his/her web of life, it does become difficult to stay in touch with them. But then, when they meet, barring the initial skirmishes, things should be as before.

Like one of my friends had said long back, about connections and staying connected, "There are two kinds of friendships - (a) where it is purely temporal, short-lived, and amounts to having a good time (b) where it is more than (a), when people keep each other updated with the ups and downs in their lives." The author personally believes that the people one thinks of, during the "not-so-fine" times are the ones you completely trust and closely relate to. Trust is a wonderful catalyst for any relationship.

Blessed are those people involved in those friendships/ relationships which does stand the test of space and time. Does respect and affection for the other make all the not-so-likeable changes in the other condonable and the likeable changes more appreciable?

The rich and the poor....

This Saturday saw me witness to the inauguration of the festival shopping season at Rodeo Drive, LA, whose claim to fame is the place where actors/actresses shop. With hope in making a difference to the many lives as the main theme, this place was studded with the rich, who were also well-dressed; men in tuxedo's and women in glittering gowns.

But then, I have also seen the homeless, truly homeless, both men and women. They sleep on the pavements, under the stars, with all Mercedes Benz's racing past them. They haven't had baths for ages. All that they have are two dirty torn bags ready to burst open.

Are the rich happy? Are the poor happy? Are you happy? Am I happy? What is happiness?

Indianness X - I, Iyer and Iyengar....

The title of this post happened to win the best team name during the first ever Landmark Open Quiz (now a highly anticipated and regular affair in Madras) in 1995. My being strongly associated with Tamil Nadu, despite not being a Tamilian, has lead to quite a few funny situations. This post is just meant to be a post. Nothing more and nothing less. These man-made differences do not make sense.

The two most important underlying fabrics that bond an Indian, Turk, Persian, Mexican, Brazilian, American, Italian, French, Chinese, Japanese, etc. are emotions and connections. Love, Pathos, Hurt, Joy, etc. unite us. The connections with the people in our lives makes it all the more interesting. One need not be of a particular caste/religion/sex/country to experience the various universal emotions. Relationships mean the same everywhere.

So now back to the topic, after the brief disclaimer. First of all, it all begins with my roots. Having a very Iyengaresque name, I am wrongly mistaken for an Iyengar. But then, my name would also pass for an Iyer, because Venkataraman/Radhakrishnan, despite being Vaishnavite, is in prevalence among Iyers of today. Guess, there was a time when the surname used to be the clinching distinguishing factor (obviously, Venkatarama Iyer and Venkatarama Iyengar are different).

While a Mishra can identify an Oriya person by his/her surname, (can be safely extended to the Guptas, Iyers, Mukhopadhyays, Shahs, Agarwals, Reddys, Pillais, Joshis, Singhs), it becomes increasingly difficult for a person like me. Each community has its own set of customs, languages, colloquialisms, cultures, etc. within the broad and myriad network of Indian ethos. While one must respect the values of one's own, reaching out to people must make us overcome these self-imposed barriers of a community. A subtle balance.

Recently, I had been to a Udupi Krishna Mutt in Los Angeles and I happened to see 40-50 people, most of whom could be claimed of "my type". It reminded me of our family gatherings and the customs/rituals involved therein. We are followers of Saint Madhwacharya, one of the trinity, with the other two being Saint Sankaracharya and Saint Ramanujacharya. Thus, I, Iyer and Iyengar could be termed as followers of the trinity in their own ways.

Honestly, I haven't got an opportunity, or rather, I haven't reached that maturity level to appreciate the differences between the Dvaita, Advaita and Vishishta-dvaita schools of thought. It merits mention that Dvaita was the last among the three and with surprisingly the least number of followers. Personally, I feel that these schools of thought emerged when the country was having a difficult time maintain its own identity courtesy the onslaught of the invaders, (more like Renaissance of Hinduism).

What about the people of Tamil Nadu, who are not Iyers and Iyengars? Is the heavy demarcation between Tam Brahms and the others leading to an erosion of Tamilian values? On a macro level, are the Vedas, Upanishads, Carnatic Music, etc. for the Brahmins alone? Is the present state of Indian politics with their shady secularist ideals an avenue towards endangerment of Indian values? Aren't our values veritably ours, no matter where we are from? What about the north-south, west-east division in India?

How many of us appreciate the Sanskrit works of poets like Kalidasa (reputed to be one of the greatest romantic poets of all times). How many of us appreciate the poetry in the compositions of Thyagaraja, Purandaradasa, Kanakadasa, Dikshitar, Sama Sastry, Swati Tirunal? How many of us appreciate the urdu ghazals and poetry of India? How many of us appreciate Ustad Bade Ghulam Ali Khan, Ustad Faiyyaz Khan, and Ustad Amir Khan? If yes to the above question, then what about Madurai Mani Iyer, Semmangudi Srinivasa Iyer and M S Subbulakshmi? What about sarode and veena?

How many of us waste a majority of our time, trying to justify the beliefs, sensibilities, values, etc. that we have embraced or have become passionate about?

Despite the so many questions, I would still like to maintain this viewpoint. Most of the values have been there for 1000's of years, and would continue to do so. India has faced many difficult times with frequent onslaught of invaders. It is just that the invaders are changing all the time. Importantly, we need to exorcise the demons within us, because, more than the values, it would be we, who would miss out on the various beautiful things in life.

The Personal Honor Code..

I have come across so many people who have gone back on their commitment. In short, promise one thing, and do something else on the contrary. Often, people tend to be more than merely be selfish. A clear case where selfishness is not a virtue. Most end up doing what works out best for them, irrespective of their commitment.

Over the past two days, I too have joined the crowd. What had been a matter of pride, of sticking to one's word no matter what, despite many temptations, is now veritably a matter of shame for me. The realization that I can also be pretty nasty and inconsiderate at times is a very bitter and nasty one.

I have succumbed twice and it would take some time forgiving myself. A simple "sorry" to the two persons involved in the two episodes, each spaced 3 years apart.

Hormonal Realities.....

A child is often considered one of the most pristine creations on earth. A perfect epitome of an innocent, playful, honest, jovial soul; be it a boy or a girl. He/she treats all alike, and has many friends of the opposite sex too. He knows that she is different from him, and she knows that he is different from her. But then, it doesn't matter. Then, something happens. A huge glitch to bring the person out of its innocent world.

The body grows while the mind and heart doesn't. Having good friends amongst the opposite sex is unheard of. Parents caution their girls to be wary of the boys. For the boys, their friends and acquaintances (predominantly of the same sex now), make fun of their interacting with the girls. The same with the girls too. Little do they know what lies ahead for them. Both are coming to life to biologically produce life, and yet are finding it increasingly difficult to come to terms with the harsh hormonal reality.

A craze for the enigmatic mysterious sex. All new words seeping into their dictionaries, with the dictionary itself being a great source of information. They find that they know not much of their own bodies. Girls are ashamed of their body, with their remaining aloof for those days, highlighting their new status. They start blossoming into women, and they do not know how to react to the evil ogling eyes of the men. And when they are beautiful, slowly, that very knowledge turns into vanity. The boys are ashamed of their broken voice and the uncultured strands of hair that make up their beard.

In the quest for "knowledge", most people stray(?). Pornography, prurient behavior, illicit movies, late night cable TV channels, self-discovery, etc. Parents do not know what to do too. This reminds me of the scene in American Pie, where the father shows his son the Playboy centerfold, and tells him about the male fascination with a woman's breasts. Girls start reading Mills and Boon, developing fantasies about the tall, dark and handsome prince, who is there just for her kinds. During this time, it is difficult for healthy and pure relationships between boys and girls. One begins to wonder what ever did happen. Why couldn't the childhood phase come back?

After some time, something again happens. Both sexes realize that it is not just the body. It is more than physical intimacy that counts towards successful relationships. Here is where the mind, the heart and the soul come in. Concepts on love, relationships, soulmates, etc. emerge. The treatment to sex also becomes holy and sacred. As Paulo Coelho says in one of his books, sex is a form of alchemy. Spiritual purification over the materialistic plane of the body where two souls unite.

So, how does one come in terms with the hormonal realities? Does each generation come up with its own means to do so. The treatment by each generation does become an interesting case. The parents are definitely right in instilling the fear for the opposite sex, because the mind is still not mature enough. Thankfully, there are studies, music, games, travel, and other activities to concentrate on.

PS1: The current topic reminds me of this conversation with a German lady on my flight from Zurich to Atlanta. She told me, "Oh, you are from India. The land of the Kama Sutra". Yes, India - the very same land of Kama Sutra, where the talk on sex has become taboo.

PS2: I was told that in the US, it is all right to "check out" a person of the opposite sex as long as one acknowledges the process with a smile.

PS3: As an aside, in the Halloween Carnival, the author came across a placard, "In Lust, We Trust".

PS4: The reader is recommended to read this previous post.

Catch 22....

Conversations with people passionate about music has only increased the awareness about the reality - "music is a truly vast ocean". Even, a lifetime doesn't seem to be enough to know one genre, leave alone, one instrument properly.

To be brutally honest, a single raga (an encapsulating and highly dynamic concept in Indian Classical Music), presents an ocean within this ocean of music. Would a lifetime be enough to know one raga completely.

Yesterday, was one such day, where I was mesmerized into listening to a conversation between two carnatic music enthusiasts. A simple thank you to these two, for their willingness to share with me the delightful intricacies in music.

For latestarters, obviously not child prodigies, how does one go about this gigantic Catch-22 situation?

A solemn promise....

Well, I seem to surprise and bewilder myself with the questions that surface in my mind these days. A constant and rightly nagging query is, "What did happen to one of the loves of your life?" - this blog! There was a time when I used to keep in touch with writing by blogging, at least, once a week.

• Have I run out of my creative juices or topics to write on?
• Have I fallen out of love with my blog?
• Have I embraced realism to idealism?

You can call me a shameless narcissist. But then, I do go over my writings. I like them. Recently, I did find lots of technical flaws too in the posts. Additionally, these writings, which have now become highly personal too, (barely trying to be within the scope of a public blog), might be more from a peregrine's point of view. Just simple assorted writings. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Despite all these, I do find people paying visit to my blog, some on an almost regular basis. A simple thanks. Your kind gestures provide life to this blog.

Dear Tamaso Ma Jyotir Gamaya,

I have neglected you enough over the past two months. This induced and unforced separation, does make me respect and love you more than ever before. Please do welcome back this prodigal son of yours.

Yours,

Ranga.

PS: Even blog-hopping has become so infrequent. A special thanks to Eroteme for this lovely post, which was heavily invigorating and inspiring.

How are you doing?

One of the most banal of all questions. A strong favorite amongst people (be they random persons, acquaintances, friends, or very good friends). What should one's answer be other than the equally banal, "I am doing good". With a paradigm shift, this question does become the greatest test for any human relationship.

A human being needs a connection with another person - be it as a great friendship or a wonderful relationship or whatever. These relationships thrive on trust and mutual respect-cum-affection. So, if things are not going "good", then these people in our circle of lives would also know about it.

Things cannot always be good. It is perfectly all right to say, "things are not fine". But then, naturally, one cannot go about revealing it all to everyone, right?

As a digression to the post, this saying does come to my mind.

"An optimist has as many chances as a pessimist. It is just that he/she happens to have a more exciting life".

So, is the banal reply to the banal question an enlightened form of optimism in daily life?

Happy Diwali....

Diwali, the festival of lights, is veritably one of the most popular festivals of India. Moreover, there is a rich repertoire of stories pertaining to this festival. Nevertheless, the most important message is the annihilation of darkness (evil). The word "darkness" reminds me of these sayings that I have fortunately come across at different points of time.

*****

Tamaso Ma Jyotir Gamaya

Oh! Divine Mother. Kindly lead me from darkness to light.

*****

Here goes a chinese proverb, also attributed to Ms. Eleanor Roosevelt :

It's better to light a candle than curse the darkness.

Often, we tend to worry small. Instead of taking one gigantic step by lighting a small candle, we seek succor in cursing the darkness, only to move behind in life.

*****

Recently, I came across this neat Spanish proverb, which inspired me to write this post on the eve of Diwali.

There is not enough darkness in the world to extinguish the light of a small candle.

Beautiful. The same light of a small candle can be taken as a metaphorical allusion to "hope". Can anything be sweeter than hope?

*****

The beauty of all these sayings is that they are applicable both at the macro and micro levels of the self. Spreading sweetness and sunshine in the lives of the less fortunate ones or using these tools to look forward to the lovely springtime during the dark and hazy winters of our lives.

Talking of spreading sweetness and sunshine, reminds of me of one of my beloved characters from the unforgettable Wodehousian world - Uncle Frederick Altamount Cornwallis Twistleton, the Earl of Ickenham. He considers his mission in life to help spread sweetness and sunshine in the lives of the many sundered hearts.

*****

Tamaso Ma Jyotir Gamaya and the author wishes its readers a very happy Diwali.

Life and the city.....

Los Angeles, the big bad city or the city of angels. Hope she takes care of her children. Having lived in college towns, for nearly 7 years, I am now a part of the teeming mass. Just another one among them. Nothing special.

This post is dedicated to LA, and the long hiatus can be safely attributed to her too. Just another one of the human tendencies to absolve oneself of guilt and blame the other.

People Watching II....

• You miss the bus

Have you ever rushed in the last few minutes to catch a bus? A daily activity for the author since time immemorial, I noticed a woman having the run of her life for nearly 4 minutes to finally catch the bus. She was all smiles and her happiness was comparable to winning the Olympic gold for a 400 m dash. Then there is the other set of people, which finds great pleasure in being seated in the bus for a boring 10-15 min, before the actual departure time. This can be extended to trains and airplanes. It merits mention that the author doesn't discriminate between any of the forms of public transport.

• Hairstyles

I happened to glance at the hairstyles of 20 people around me in one of the bus rides. I was surprised to find that no two ones were similar. Both men and women, sport a totally unique hairstyle that adds to their personal recognition, charm, appeal or whatever. This reminds me of the temple at Belur, Karnataka, India where 2000+ hairstyles are vividly sculpted as one of the greatest memorial to the beauty in women. Not to forget the string of jasmine flowers on the long braids of Indian women.

• Victoria's Secret

While I am at it, let me write about this too. There happens to be a Victoria's Secret "show"room in the Mall of America, supposedly the biggest mall in the US. Fat ladies eye the models on display with 100% admiration, mostly bordering on envy though. Then, there are these young 17+ couples, so excited for obvious reasons. One universal phenomenon, is the unbounded lust in the men, of all ages and all types. How the same concept of a lingerie showroom, can evoke different moods and reactions in people, is astounding.

• Feminine colors

Then, there is the choice of certain colors of clothing and accessories that could be called "cute", using the girlish expression. Cyan, pink, lemon yellow, light orange, you name it. I happened to watch a family of four, with the dad sporting a different color, clearly outnumbered by the female species of his family that was proudly endorsing pink. And barring Govinda, an Indian "actor", any guy sporting colors such as these would be branded gay. What makes these colors so feminine?

• Sadness and grief

How does it feel to look at a stranger'e eye, and find that person totally lost in prolonged spells of sadness and pain? I happened to see a lady staring outside the window on the train, and I sensed her sadness and grief. She didn't notice me. All of us have those spells of sadness, suffering and pain. The unavoidable embraces all of us, at different points of time in our lives. But then, we are all veritably alone. Can anyone share our pain? No, right?

Ignorance... Revisited.

This is the first time, that I am quoting something from verbatim out here. Kindly excuse.

"While I am still confused and uncertain, it is on a much higher plane, d'you see, and atleast I know I'm bewildered about the really important and fundamental facts of the universe." Treatle nodded, I hadn't looked at it like that," he said, "But you are absolutely right. He's really pushed back the limits of ignorance".

They both savored the strange warm glow of being much more ignorant than ordinary people, who were ignorant of only ordinary things.

- Terry Pratchet, Equal Rites.

Paperboats...

This post is dedicated to the spirit of innocence and enthusiasm in a child.

An Experiment with Truth - 1.

(a) Try to make a paperboat.
(b) If you could, then you have convinced yourself .

(c) For people like me who tried and failed, this comes in useful.
(d) For people who think this is below their dignity, do ignore this.

Minnehaha....

Minnehaha creek runs through Minneapolis and merges with R. Mississippi around 2-3 miles from my home. The legend of Hiawatha, of "The Song of Hiawatha" fame by H W Longfellow, fell in love with this Dakota beauty, noted for her enthusiasm, bubbling spirit and laughter. By a twist of fate and fortune, I stay very close to the Minnehaha creek, the Minnehaha Falls, the Minnehaha Park, the R. Mississippi, the L. Nokomis (a motherly figure of Hiawatha), and the L. Hiawatha. Yes, this post is dedicated to the love of Hiawatha and Minnehaha.

Today, the author was in for a big wonderful surprise. There was a Fiji fest going on at the park. A garage band, gave a free concert, and entertained a meager crowd of 15-20 with jazz, rock and roll, country, and what not. The highlight of the concert, were the three lovely ladies, aged any where between 2-4, dancing and swaying to the tunes with all smiles. There were two guys dancing alone too. One of them remarked to a bewildered lady, "I am not gay. But I do like the lead guy (presumably for his vocals and guitar)".

The music was different. The very fact that people were enjoying the music, and the musicians themselves enjoying the concert despite the low turnout drove home the point of the sheer power of music. Despite not having a deep spiritual impact, it cheered the people around. Six unknown musicians, not high profile ones, who had come together, courtesy their love for music, sure did give me an invaluable lesson. Never ever discriminate between the various forms of music. It is like preferring the heart to the lungs.

There were a few couples all around the park, savoring the company of each other in silence, with the concert tunes as the background. Love was in the air. No wonder, the legendary love between Hiawatha and Minnehaha seems to have an effect at this place. It merits mention that the couples were of various ages (hmm, an obvious statement!). While there were couples who looked beautiful together (in the physical sense), the best were those old couples, who were contented being with each other (having come this far in their journey called life).

I just happened to take the stairs to watch the falls. The majestic splendor of the Falls was something so pristinely beautiful. Then the rapids in the creek, meandering across the forest, on its journey towards meeting the R. Mississippi, reminded me of this saying, "Even the weariest river ends up in the sea". The same creek, 1-2 miles westward, looks so serene and peaceful. Almost, without a ripple. One does get a lot of lessons from the water.

(PS: In short, a beautiful surprise. The only dampener was when I found a father, of two children, carrying a toddler of 4-6 months, and shamelessly puffing away on his way to a dark glory : blowing the smoke and fumes over the baby.)

PS2: Guess, the chronicles of the author of how a Friday evening was spent. An unexpected entry as a post out here.

Pilani.....

New Delhi, ISBT, Sarai Rohilla, Rohtak, Bhiwani, Loharu, Pilani, Nutan, Panchavati, Harijan Gate, VFAST Guest House, Swimming Club, Gym, A4, Ram Bhawan, RBM Mess, Malviya Bhawan, Dualites, Psenti Sem, Thesis, Wardens, Orientation, Ragging, Freshers Period, "Hey! Fresh!", Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, Choms, Gults, Elads, Wings, Friends, SKY, ANC, IC, Co'not, Blue Moon, MNB, Butter Onion Masala Dosa, ANC Chai, Veg Patty, Pappu, Back Sky, Psenti Couples, Psenti, PTM, Kairali, Kannada Vedike, ELAS, EPC, HPC, Music Nite, Music Club, Dance Club, ARBITS, Soundz, Lights, Booze, Fag, Theka, OASIS, Shiv G, Hanuman Temple, Saraswati Mandir, G D Birla, Winters, Razai, Immersion Rods, Alarm Clocks, Breakfast, Bread Pakoda, Matri, Jilebi, Open Book Tests, Tutes, Crushes, MB, Interface, APOGEE, SBBJ, UCO Bank, Redi, Nagarji, Jamun Rabri, Nite-outs, Common Rooms, Simran, Midnight Masala, Pondy, EWLYP, Bunking classes, "Attendance is not compulsory", Crash, Slangs, New Ghalis, NSS, Jhankaar, Ref Li, Cen Li, Stubs, S-9, FD-III, Workshop, PCP, Kusu, GenB, DNA, RAF, SUB, Politics, Prez, GenSec, NVSec, VSec, Stuccan, Costaan, BOSM, Outstis, LSR, Girl's Basketball matches, Bosoms, Babes, BHS, CEERI Bakery, Black Forest, BEP, SPIC-MACAY, Sweeper's Colony, Adult Education, Construction Workers, Anganwadi, T-Wing, Jaipur, Jantar Mantar, CAT, GRE, Jobs, Grades, CGPA, Transfer, Dual, BSL, Kachori, Cherry man, Kashmiri Pulao, French Fries, Cornetto, Ice-creams, Extras, Mess Bill, Scholarships, Merit-cum-need, Merit, Top Ten, Honours Board, Movies, VCDs, Piracy, Wingie's Computer, Backstreet Boys Millenium, Boyzone, MLTR, Bryan Adams, Geeta Dutt, Hemant Kumar, Lata, Rafi, Talat, Asha, Kishore, Raat Kali Ek Khwab Mein Aaye, Fears, Apprehensions, Matters of the heart, Finances, Loans, Pink Floyd, Metallica, Nirvana, GNR, Rock shows, Razzmatazz, Dancing, Psenti Nite, Diro, Inaugs, Plays, PTM Play, EDC Play, 247, 269, 206, 156, RM, BG, RP, MechSol, Adcal, B, Pullups, 10P's, BUS, RepWri, Complex, CDCs, CAS, uP, EDIC, Tyagi, LKM, EEE, A3, Unix, CSD, Java, C, C++, CEERI, IC Design Lab, Analog, Electronics, Latcha, Psenti Sem, UCO Redi, Friends for life, Apping, Safe Univs, PA, Recos, PS-II, PS-I, Movies, Movies, Movies, Latcha, Latcha, Latcha, Batch Snap, Farewells, Assoc Dinners, Diro's Tea Party, BITSAA, T-shirts, Manali, Kulu, Sterling Resorts, Shimla, Nainital, Corbett National Park, Mathura, Agra, Diwali, Holi, Dassehra, Burning of Ravana's effigy, CEERI Temple, Sat Sri Kal, Ragamalika, Sangam, ....... B.E. (Hons.).

In short, 4 magical years.

My Dear.....

Dearest Deepti,

Where are you, my dearest friend? We were the greatest of friends, to the envy, of your elder sister and her friends and our other friends. A boy and a girl in one of the purest relationships. Our worlds were thankfully innocent then. The world became a wonderful place to live in. You made it even more wonderful for me. We were there for each other, no matter what. You sided with me even when it meant getting bullied by your elder sister of 7 evil years. How we both used to hate her? We used to have dinner twice a day. Once, at your house and then, again, at my house or vice-versa; so that we could still be together.

Now, I don't even know where you are and how you are doing. I haven't met you at all after that tearful day, 18 years ago, when we had promised each other to always be in touch, no matter what. You must be the same age as mine. Now, you must be a beautiful woman (well, you will always be beautiful, no matter what). You, like me, would be experiencing the greatest experience known as life, in all its shades. You would have other wonderful friends too. You, like me, would be wondering about your dearest friend, me. For all I know, you might be married and might be the mother of a son. Who knows, that son of yours might have a "girlfriend", and their friendship might serve as a constant reminder of ours to you.

Beautifully converge only to diverge. Sigh!!! one of the biggest ironies in life.

Well, I hope we meet someday. My best wishes and love to you. I would always pray for your well-being and happiness. May all your dreams come true.

Regards and Love,
Vivek.

PS: An attempt at fiction? My response to ammani's call for open letters to anyone. A special thanks to ammani for making me finally weave this letter.

Americanness III - Indian Groceries...

A surprising title to this post. Well, it is about the concept of Indian groceries in the US of A. This can very well be extended to Persian groceries, Turkish groceries, etc. The concept is the same. My being more familiar to the delicacies offered by the Indian cuisine, inspires me to discriminate between the various grocery options available here.

For the uninitiated alien, the newcomers to the US (say, me 3 years ago), all the prices of Indian foods seem totally alien. Isn't it ridiculous to shell out close to 4 USD for a ready-made bhel puri mix. Imagine, a whopping 200 INR, for something that would be available for 10 INR in India. But then, one tends to generalize. "Money is not everything. Why should one miss out on what the taste buds are used to?". It is an altogether different issue, if this would help alleviate or aggregate the inexplicable homesickness.

From what starts to be ridiculously high prices, one gets to better appreciate their pricing with the passage of time. Direct conversion doesn't help at all. For people in India, my own relatives and friends, it is a matter of shock that I need to pay 100's of INR to get basic essentials, which most of them would have taken for granted. Say, toor dal, channa dal, rye, jeera, methi, chilli powder, masala powders, garam masala, ready-made mixes, pickles, and what not.

Such is the lure and seduction of the sense of smell, and taste. One might go and try out the most exotic of cuisines. But then, finally, an Indian could find the greatest peace in having a simple meal of sambhar (known as lentil soup in American circles), rice (the Indian equivalent of the oriental variety), dhahin (amazing curd, available here, loaded with the richness of cream and fat), and the simple pickle. For the non-rice types, say, paratha, curd and pickle.

Such a peaceful dinner would amount to say, 4-5 USD. Wherever you go, whatever you eat, you end up shelling more. So, despite the fact that we end up paying 250 INR for a simple meal, it could be considered money well spent. The mind is a clever instrument, that is capable of bending all rules and degrees, when it comes to justifying anything. With a mere paradigm shift, the beautiful becomes the ugly and vice-versa.

And, importantly, shrewd people loaded with great business acumen and sense have rightly noticed the huge potential in the concept of Indian groceries. Be it the shop-keepers themselves, to the entrepreneurs, to the middle-men. But then, isn't life all about being opportunistic, and utilizing the opportunities that come knocking on one's doors.

PS: What is rasagulla or gulab jamun for the Indian, it is the baklava for the West Asian. In a land, where, anything about one's home country is enough to rise the nostalgia and the fervour in all of us, one doesn't object to paying more to have these "essentials", so as to lead a life as normal as one to the one's in the home country (well!!!, atleast when it comes to food).

Khushboo Welfare Society....

Causality in real life....

The football final of World Cup 2006 ITA vs FRA ended on a shocking note, last week. FRA, despite playing the better quality attacking football, after half-time, were the losers. Zinedine Zidane, on whom the previous post was based, delivered, on two counts - orchestration of the game from the midfield; and the vicious head-butt, courtesy the provocation. Such a sad way for his career to end.

This brings us back to the causal nature of the events. If there had been no cause (the provocation), the effect (the head-butt) wouldn't have been there. It doesn't make sense for Materazzi to end up on the winning side and be let scott-free. As Domenech had said, the true man of the match was Materazzi. Fair play needs to necessarily include both physical and non-physical forms of the game.

Zinedine Zidane.....

This post is dedicated to Zidane, and my landlady's friend, who was kind enough to give me a TV so that I can watch the matches.

The world is so fickleminded. The very same world which had been lambasting the French team and its coach Raymond Domenech, left, right and center (in a rare case of unity), has again made a shameless turnaround (again, displaying a remarkable sense of togetherness). A few were hoping against hope to help the French turn the tide against the world. As Richard Feynman says, "What do YOU care what other people think", seems to be have become the motto of this team, that has made it to the finals. It would be interesting to read these two clippings, spaced nearly a month apart[1,2].

Zidane, is on a swansong, more so during the match against Brazil and Spain, and ironically, it is more with the conviction that each match could be his last match. The world has been fortunate twice. If France hadn't qualified for the second round, then that was the end of Zidane's illustrious career. It would have been such a shame for the world. Second, he didn't get an yellow card against Portugal. That would have meant, the game against Portugal would have been veritably his last game. It would have been a great case of irony, if France were into the finals, and the inspiration behind the team was to sit out.

Coming to the subject of partisan fan following (perfectly justified), there are so many people with tears, now, read Brazilians (inevitably dosed with anger too), Germans (mixed with pride), Portuguese, Argentines, English, etc. The same German crowd that was jubilant after the narrow hard-fought victory over Argentina, was moved to tears after the match against Italy (that had to end in such a dramatic fashion). Football, for that matter, any sport, continues to unify people. Sport is one of the biggest passions of the world.

Despite my being very partisan in my support for the Les Bleus in the finals, may the better team win. Would it be one inspired performance from Zidane, or the hype, limelight, attention get the better of him. The stage couldn't be more perfect. Sadly for the world, his illustrious career is coming to an end. Importantly, what a way to end with the finals of the World Cup Finals 2006? Irrespective of the outcome of the match (well, victory would be more more precious and memorable), he has done his job.

Germany 2006....

The greatest sporting carnival. A sport transcending across many barriers. A team game. Inarguably, must be the greatest platform for showcasing one's talent in a group effort. Sport, for that matter, provides a means for the highest form of connection between individuals. Only players can understand one another, and the levels of resonance between two players can be unmatched by any other kind of relationship in the world.

So far, some teams have shown their class. Some teams were plain unlucky. Some teams had the ladyluck smiling upon them. For the first time, the author had to resort to viewing those 2 min match highlights here. And, whatever follows in this post, is based on those videos and photos. 16 teams have progressed to the next round, and 16 teams have been eliminated. Ghana, has undoubtedly, played one of the best so far, among the newer generation teams.

Most of these African teams have that raw sensuous magic and power on display. It is an altogether different matter that they have not been so successful because of the lack of the clinical finish. South Korea was unlucky to miss out on the final round of 16. But then, the author being a French supporter, was more than just happy. However, the faces of the South Koreans, players and fans, following their loss to Switzerland, did touch a raw chord. Only days ago, the same set of people were the happiest following the late equalizer vs. France.

One often tends to forget that the world cup is one of the finest moments of the game. Best teams of the world are out there, and it is a true celebration of the spirit of success. Fans from all over the world throng to support "their" teams. A Croatian fan was almost in tears because of the draw vs. Australia, which was not enough. I am sure, that the team that loses out on the finals would also be in tears. It is always a case of "So near, yet so far". There can only be one winner. And that winner is veritably the game itself.

While some teams failed to deliver or impress, most of the teams provided excellent entertainment for the world and most games were high-scoring in nature. This post is dedicated to the 16 teams that didn't make it to the second round. The respective countries must be in that shadow of gloom and pain. The players and the fans, alike, would take some time to recover from this event.

Years of excitement, enthusiasm, and yearning to play wonderful soccer, has transformed to only a month of soccer for these countries. Their fate had been decided over a matter of 3 games, totalling approx. 4.5 hrs. For them, it is time to get back to their normal lives. And, this is something which is difficult. May the force be with them.

The Concept of an American Family...

Images, Illusions, Concepts, Unjustified Assumptions. That's the way we all are. However, my experiences of being a passive spectator to the ways of the American family has been highly enligtening to say the least. This post is again based on my limited experiences only. One need not agree with this post in entirety. Read at your own risk.

***

The West is looked upon as a free society, where people are free to exercise their free-will. And in most cases, when it comes to relationships and physical intimacy, divorces, one-night stands, threesomes, "swinging", teenage sex, single mothers, old-age homes, etc. are "okie" if not all right. One often tends to generalize and it might not be completely wrong to assume that the concept of a family is not that important in the American society.

Compared to the family concept in the East, (read India, for the author is not in a position to make comments on the other countries), there are stark differences. This post is not to meant to be a denigration of either of the two societies. It is more to highlight the strong well-rooted concept of a family, that does exist in America. The author would not want to delve into the intricate comparisons between the West and the East and elaborate on the Indian system.

Some of the key concepts are enumerated below:

• Public displays of affection

It is all right for a couple, to walk hand-in-hand or kiss in public. It is considered a natural extension of their intimacy and an expression of their own selves. Neither is it taboo nor fashionable. The world merely exists and they are not bothered as to what the world thinks. To some, it might seem to be a case of arrogance or mere patronising attitude.

"Across the pale parabola of joy", it is definitely all right to live for those transient moments of joys. Summers in Minneapolis, makes one severely "outdoorsy". The author has seen couples going on walks, jogging runs, biking, canoeing, fishing, sitting on bench savoring the presence of each other in silence admiring the ways of nature, etc. etc.

However, the guilt factor of my intruding on their privacy does seep in.

• Quality time with children

An entire family, consisting of the husband-wife, daughter, son, go on a bike ride, one behind the another. There have been days when the family is on the beach of one of the so many lakes in Minneapolis, swimming; or trekking in the so many dusty natural trails around. The children love these outings and the happiness in evident in their faces.

For the working fathers and mothers, time after office is meant to be with their children and themselves. They are rigorously punctual to office, often, come early to leave early. But after they leave, rarely do they even think about the office. Weekends are meant to be with the family.

On a similar note, the author has seen familes pay a visit to the Public Library. The children are encouraged to read story books, and also borrow educational DVDs. A healthy atmosphere and the public libraries are "free" (courtesy the state tax we all pay), and usually stock an admirable collection of books (Surprisingly, Enid Blyton is missing).

• Vacations

I have known people planning on their vacations for 2-3 weeks with their family. It is a must every year. The entire family looks forward to it. Often, the places are not exotic or the busy cities of America. Privacy and natural outdoors are what appeal to them, say, hiring a wooden cabin in some national park.

***

This is not to mean, that the author finds these qualities missing elsewhere. This is meant to highlight the unjustiable nature of our generalizations when it comes to people. Like mentioned before, it is not that those other elements, bordering more on the experimentation and prurient side of life, are absent.

Respect and Pity...

I was heavily inspired by my friend and his post to read "The Namesake" by Ms. Jhumpa Lahiri, and this post is heavily inspired by the novel. A not another review of the book. I would however, chose to write on a phrase that is highly effective in conveying what it is meant to convey.

Immigrants, or non-immigrants (read aliens), are in a constant dichotomous state of existence with the perennial question of "What am I?". While one state yearns for the life that they have left behind in their native country, the other finds it a thin line of divide between hate and love for their new country. They slowly begin to accept the ways and life of the new country.

As rightly pointed out in the book, what the citizens of the new country feel for such people is a mixture of respect and pity. The combination of both of these makes it a not so favourable an opininon. Respect for their boldness in coming to a totally alien country as aliens. Pity for their missing out on the pleasures and culture of the native country.

Minneapolis is flooded with African refugees, who have been granted asylum and citizenship by the US. Theirs is, however, a different story. However, for people, who make a conscious decision to come to a new country for professional education or money or whatever, it is a clear case of not exercising their right of living in their country.

From a purely personal experience, an American lady (a cashier in a bank), upon coming to know of my Indian roots, asked me, "Do they have taxes in India". I was surprised with the question. I have also been asked about elephants being used as modes of transport in cities by certain people, out of that nagging curiosity. To most, India is an enigma. I merely tell them, "India is Europe minus Russia". It surprises them to know that India has more Muslims than any other country, despite their being a minority in India.

Anyways, the lady in consideration, told me, "I admire you people for being bold enough to come to a new country. It does require a lot of guts. It must be a tough experience. I cannot imagine myself doing that." Whether, the statement was made out of pure respect, or with that unconscious mix of pity, I truly don't know. However, I must agree that it is a tough experience, requiring really great levels of strength.

By the way, how exactly would life be in our native country? Would it be exactly like the ones we envision. It might very well not be so idyllic. But then, one of my friends had to offer this viewpoint, "If my country cannot offer me what I want, then I guess I have no choice. I would be prepared to accept life for what it has to offer to me. But for the new country, I do have the choice". Yes, my dear reader, it is the choice we make to live in that haze of "respect and pity" for us.

PS: This is a sensitive topic. Each one I have met so far, and have been fortunate to interact with, tries to justify his/her stance. People who love the life in the new country, continuously try to justify. Often, their justifications are convoluted. People who find their life to be that of aliens or second-rate people, suffer in silence, hoping for the dawn of a new day.

PS2: At the same time, there does exist a certain category of people belonging to the native country, that is envious of the alien, and the "rich" life it is leading in the new country. Does the saying, "The grass is greener on the other side" ring a bell.

PS3: The author declines to write about his opinion out here, as it is beyond the scope of this blog.

Passions...

Those close and not-so-close encounters with people, of all kinds, family, closest friends, friends, acquaintances, passers-by, etc. often highlights one viewpoint. Each one is unique and everyone has that innate sensibility towards something that is very very close to one's own heart. Passions tend to rule our life, and each person astonishes me with what he/she is passionate about.

At times, though, it does become difficult to accept the depth and buried treasures that can be found in a so-called passion of a person. That cruel discriminatory and condescending attitude does seep in at times. This viewpoint only proves the cliched "ignorance is not bliss". I am sure the same must be for the others when it comes to seeing the credibility in my passions.

A not-so-comprehensive list of passions that immediately come to my mind (with no due disrespect to other forms and manifestations):

• Rock-climbing: My previous house-owner just returned from a 3 week trip to Alaska, which essentially involved mountaineering and climbing to a 20,000 ft. altitude.
• Flying planes: The same person as above has his own private two-seater plane and enjoys flying. Heavily Bachesque in nature.
• Wandering aimlessly in cities: One of my friends believes that one of the most enjoyable, unforgettable and life-changing experiences would be wandering aimlessly in cities.
• Head-banging and rock: One of my closest friends comes up with an essay about his experiences in a recent rock concert that included GnR and Metallica.
• Football/Cricket: I have known people swear by the same name with their Gods being Pele, Ronaldo, Maradona, Sobers, Tendulkar and Gavaskar.
• Crosswords: A day begins with this engaging, intellectual and pleasurable activity.
• Conversations: Connections and sensible conversations with people who can understand, empathise and appreciate.
• Books: Some people love to live in the idyllic world of books. Even here, there is that huge divide between people who love reading for fun and others who love serious reading. Compare Wodehouse with Kafka or Nietschze.
• Music: For some, music veritably happens to be an expression of their life itself. With the myriad of music forms around, one happens to be naturally selective. Spending an entire day with their instrument (incl. their own voice) in a heavily claustrophobic room, all alone, would be their best times of their lives.
• Spirtuality: Some love to talk about the soul, mind, heart and the body. Advanced levitating souls might even talk about consciousness, divine, sublime spirit, energy, and so on.
• Travelling: Similar to the one about wandering aimlessly in cities. Most travel ventures, however, happen to be planned. Certain places are not to be missed and a solo photo with the landmark a must.
• Studies: This could be wrongly termed geeky or nerdy. Nothing brings as much pleasure to these folks than solving some interesting theorem or tinkering around with radio hand-sets or coding.
• Photography: Still-life, at times voyeuristic, at times narcissistic, capturing the emotions and moods of unknown people, and having a prolonged affair with light.
• Painting: People swear by Monet, Seurat, Manet, Renoir, Rembrandt, Van Gogh, Picasso, Chagall. Pencil sketching, drawing caricatures of teachers while sitting at the back in the classes, taking up graduate studies in liberal arts, visiting art museums, etc.
• Music Appreciation: Listening to a variety of stuff for their aesthetic appeal. Technical music appreciation could be a problem. But, then, it doesn't seem to bother these people. Interestingly, the same musician evokes two different kinds of appreciation in two people.
• Writing: Writing for their own pleasure. Some dream of writing books for the public at a later stage in life. Some write these so-called "blogs" even when they have a pile of things at hand.
• Politics: People love to discuss politics for hours without sleep, food, and coffee. What should India's foreign policy be, what is happening in a vague remote Baluchistan province, socialism vs. capitalism, etc. etc.
• Sports: People love to watch a cricket match or a racing venture without sleep, food and coffee. Some play a sport and some watch a sport.
• Movies: The movie buffs who find it irresistable to not watch a boring movie too. Any movie, be it a box-office hit or a fizzle, demands their attention, appreciation and comment.
• Star-gazing: A relatively interesting and less kn0wn activity.
• Poetry: Staggered lines make the world for these set of people. While some might restrain to reading romantic poetry by the lines of Shelly, Keats, Wordsworth, others try their own hand at poetry.
• Gaming: Totally and completely devoted to this pastime.
• Jogging: Miles means the world to them. Their happiness might have nothing to do with Miles Davis though.
• Cars: They shamelessly letch and drool over cars. Frequently known to be waiting for the day when they would own a BMW convertible or a Benz or a Ferrari.
• Money: For some, money is everything.
• Service: Service to the less fortunate is a deliverance and "the calling" for these people.
• Teaching: A kind of service, and the low pay-scale is not a problem.
• Nature: Moving rivers, Passing clouds, Mountains, Seas, Lakes, Beaches, Trails, Open fields, etc.

The author has merely quoted the various activities that people around him happen to be passionate about. His views, proficiency and knowledge on even one of them is not the subject of interest out here. Additions are more than welcome.

Nine Months Later...

I had no answers then. I still do not have any answers.

This post is inspired, courtesy a conversation with my friend, who also happened to help me in times of dire need. He told me, "Ranga, last year same time, you had so many question marks. Now, some have cleared. A few new ones have appeared. So don't think so much. With time, the answers will emerge".

Well, this I suppose belongs to all these similar schools of thought; of divine surrender after doing our duty of the best possible efforts; whatever happens, happens for the best and at the right time; the haziness of winter gives way to springtime; the dawn of a new day signifies the birth of a new hope and a new beginning.

At no moment, are we in control of our life. So wouldn't it be better to stop planning and being totally futuristic. Isn't life all about constant improvisation, albeit within a bounded limit of what one can do (heavily analogous to the concept of Raga in Indian Classical Music).

PS: This is not the case of a defeatist attitude, though.

Respect and Love....

Have you ever wondered about the relationships that are special to you. What sets them apart is the presence of both respect and love for the other person. Respect provides the much needed distance while love bridges upon the very same distance. A case of distanced closeness.

The most important of all relationships is the relationship with the self. We could love our own self, forgetting all our faults. But then, respect for our own self would definitely be lacking. It would be our earnest endeavor to respect and love ourselves. And one of the most difficult tasks at hand in this endeavor is forgiveness of the self.

Thus, the presence of both respect and love, makes the relationship all the more special and meaningful. Even if one of them is lacking, the relationship suffers heavily. Respect without love and love without respect doesn't make sense at all. Respect and love - the two complementary positive opposites need to co-exist in harmony.

Associative Nostalgia - IV ... Shoes.

The pristine innocence of childhood makes one derive happiness and joy from the simplest of things. How the world would become an even more wonderful place to be in, all because the child got a new shoe. Be it the "naughty boy/girl" series from Bata (with their ***.95 pricings), a pair of simple canvas shoes, colorful floaters/sandals, the universal hawaii chappals, or the highly sophisticated "Made in South Asia" products of the big brands - Nike, Reebok, Adidas, etc; well, it doesn't really matter.

How often would you have wanted a new shoe, a different kind of shoe, simply by watching what other people wore? At an age, when we often do not want to get into an another person's shoes, the personal desire or craving for the shoe does often get sadly unnoticed by the parents. In some cases, even if it does get noticed by the parents, the proposal is brutally rejected with the quaint excuse, "You are taking very good care of your shoes. They should easily last one more year". This would and should encourage you to not take very good care of your shoes. Why foolishly wait for one more year because you are being well-mannered? It is simply not worth it.

But then, this new dash of recklessness with the shoe does get noticed. You would be reprimanded for not taking proper care of the shoes. This would be followed by a generalization on the present generation of kids, as to how they have no value for money, how the parents were not like that when they were kids, how tough it used to be in those days to even have a pair of dresses, etc. The child is no doubt helplessly bewildered. Either of its ways has no appeal for the parents; and the new shoe being showcased in the shop across the corner, a sacred place of daily visit, would be sadly and painfully lying there unappreciated.

Days of tantrums finally give way to the ultimate purchase of the shoe. The child proudly goes to the "shop" with its parents. Its eyes would proclaim to the world - "Look, I am going to be the emperor of all that I survey. I am going to get the shoe that I have been wanting all along". All those procedures of buying the right size, trying in a varied set of shoes, going for a short walk within the shop on the new shoe, having a tough time deciding between two equally appealing ones, would make the child be supremely happy. Finally, "All is well that ends well", says the child to its parents with that naughty mischievous smile.

One often wonders, where in the long process of "growing up", does this innocence get lost. Life was far less complicated those days. Or rather, do we tend to make life more complicated as we grow up.

PS: The readers are recommended to view this movie by Majid Majidi, "Children of Heaven", which is a wonderful tale woven about a shoe and the brother-sister duo.

The walk of life... Revisited.

May 13, 2006 : A red-letter day for some, including the author. The day arrived. The culmination of a 3 year affair with my alma mater and the transition from a student to alumnus happened on that day. A member of the Aggie family for life.

This being the first convocation in my life, (courtesy my undergrad school that believed in shipping the degree by registered post to be more practical due to whatever practical reasons); it was a fabulous experience. Here, was celebration of life and success in everyone at its pristine best.

Cheered by an audience amounting to 40,000+, inspired by the smiles in many fellow graduates, and awed by the dazzling regalia on display, this occasion would be an occasion to remember for the entire lifetime.

The key note of the convocation speech was "Things do get better eventually. However, they do not happen automatically without any effort from our side". There was a time, when this day was a mere illusion and a mirage. Things did get better with time, and I finally managed to encounter the oasis in this journey across the desert, in my search for water.

Some of my friends were able to make it for my convocation too, and make the event more special. A special thanks to one and all. It would be blasphemous to discriminate between my friends.

The dawn of a new day gives birth to a new hope and a new beginning.

PS: Not so long ago, my experience as an awed spectator can be found here.

Mother's Day Special.

The author was treated to a concert, that could be considered a fitting tribute to all mothers at Houston this Sunday. The artistes for the evening were Dr. N Rajam, her daughter Dr. Sangeetha Shankar and her grand-daughters Ragini and Nandini. We were treated to some soulful music from the bowed violins of these artists in the Hindustani style.

The two children were highly enthusiastic and played Rag Jog for us. Having been brought up on a staple food of Indian Classical Music, their performance would have made both the mothers proud. However, they being the guru's too, their recital would have invoked a few constructive criticisms too, for their improvement.

Does being a member of a musical family help. Needless to say, it was really delightful to see the three generations of artistes playing the violin. The stamp of the guru was unmistakable in the shishyas. Dr. N Rajam must be one of the most successful mothers in her own right in the world. Her legendary legacy would continue with her daughters (in contrast to the usual paternal gharana system).

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers in the world. They are veritably different manifestations of Mother Goddess.

The sense of touch....

Have you ever wondered about the importance of the sense of touch in our lives? How many times would you feel uncomfortable when someone crosses the limits of personal space and gets physically close to you? Your personal space is something that you treasure a lot. And, you allow only a few people in your life to violate the sacred territory.

Be it the mother suckling her baby, the child sleeping with its parents, the man and woman walking hand in hand, a casual handshake between acquaintances, a warm hug between two very good friends, your guru/elder blessing you, the sense of touch plays a very important role.

I happened to gently and affectionately stroke the very same cat in this post, and it responded by stroking my toe. It felt more secure; and to be honest from my side, it felt nice to be trusted by this cat. The sense of touch and the feeling of warmth and security is truly universal.

People Watching.....

Most people indulge in this very engaging, enriching and at times, titillating activity. Be it the public transport, the office, the school, the recreation center, the places of worship, the coffee shops, the restaurants, the car, whatever. It need not necessarily be limited to what is termed "sighting" or to put it more forcefully, letching. We can learn a lot about human behavior, interactions and relationships by just watching people. For a moment, forgetting all our worries and reasons for happiness, we take the roles of people we shamelessly watch.

Some interesting examples, that come to the author's immediate notice, are given below; in no particular preference or sequence. All of them are from the USA due to their recent nature of occurrences. This is not meant to serve as an indicator about the American culture or Americanness. The examples are cited with a pure innocuous intention. A second article on Indian experiences would be posted sometime.

#1. 6th St. and Cedar St. Bus Stop, St. Paul, MN, USA

An Afro-American girl, barely 15 years of age, dressed in a hip fashion (vulgar and unbecoming of such a tender age), smoking a cigar and puffing her way to whatever insane glory.

#2. 5th St. and Minnesota St. Bus Stop, St. Paul, MN, USA

A young couple, anywhere between 15-17, lustily kissing and eating each other's mouths in public. She looks down there at him, and teasingly calls him "retarded". Open use of abusive language, commenting on others, making fun of others, rampant "liberalism"

#3. Starbucks Coffee, San Rafael, CA, USA

A lady reading a big fat book, A boy solving a crossword game, A man working on his laptop, An old man making a move with a relatively young girl, fit enough, to be his daughter or even grand-daughter. A guy playing the guitar outside the shop; with a few interested onlookers.

#4. Starbucks Coffee, Cottage Grove, MN, USA

An old couple (70+), having a wonderful conversation over a cup of coffee. Love is evident in the air and their eyes convey everything. Highly encouraging.

#5. Bike trail, Cottage Grove, MN, USA

A family of four, husband, wife, and two cute children, riding on four bikes, one behind the another, having a high quality recreative time spent with their loved ones.

#6. Lawns, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX, USA

The dawn of summer brings out the best in the women of College Station. Sporting bikinis and leisurely reading stuff, lying totally "laid-front" on the ground. Enough to attract the attention of of many a roving and lustful eye.

#7. North gate pub, College Station, TX, USA

Noise blaring in the background. People on the process of getting drunk. Some tend to get physically intimate, oblivious of the surroundings. People trying to have conversations. Smoke and alcohol provide a not-so comfortable environment for a non-smoker and a non-drinker.

#8. Sweet Eugene's, A coffee shop, College Station, TX, USA

A group of four girls, playing Scrabble over coffee.

#9. Recreation Center, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX, USA

A feast for the eyes for many guys, including the author. Their dedication to the maintenance of their body structure deserves genuine appreciation.

#10. Sbisa Dining Center, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX, USA

A young Hispanic girl (10-13), glued to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, completely oblivious of the surroundings.

#11. Red Hot Jazz Cafe, Houston, TX, USA

People, majority Afro-Americans, having dinner with amazing live jazz performances. Amazing peaceful easy feeling. Harmony is in the air.

#12. Joe Satriani Concert, Dallas, TX, USA

A group of people, sporting "black" paraphernalia, tattoed arms, hips, stomachs, belly-rings and rings in so many different and interesting places, totally stoned with drugs, fag and booze. Listening dangerously close (atleast their ears) to heavy metal high volume music, during the breaks.

#13. River Walk, San Antonio, TX, USA

Couples craving for privacy in supposedly one of the most romantic places in the US. Ironically, crowded with so many like-minded couples.

.... and so on.

Humility....

There are some good things in life that would be a conquest for the entire lifetime. Humility is one of them. The author has seen so many shades of humility in people. Genuine humility, a superficial layered humility, humility to the point of arrogance, and extreme vanity. Being genuinely humble, would be the conquest for life.

The most dangerous of the four forms is humility to the point of arrogance. One tends to get complacent, forget the difficult times, not count the blessings, and become arrogantly humble. In this case, there is that heavy layer of hypocrisy involved. Naturally, it is more depracating than the case of extreme vanity. Atleast, people are being honest to themselves then.

So, when you do think that you have done something great or have every reason to be arrogant, but are not doing so, to be in the good books of people, think deep down. Realise the insignificance of the self. Realise the importance of being honest and scrupulous. Coming to terms with your own horrendous self can be the most difficult task at hand.

Of Cats and Dogs....

This post is drawn from a personal experience of mine and is about a cat and a dog. Their interactions remind me of sibling rivalry or those moments of feeling usurped by the new entrant into the family. It all began like this.

The cat was the queen of the house. The entire house was her territory. Oh! boy, she did have an amazing time, running here and there, up and down, over the fridge, the wooden cabinets, etc. A very friendly cat.

Then, a dog (a few months old) was brought into the house. They were to share the same territory. The cat was forgotten but for the occassional "how are you doing". The dog is currently being pampered with daily evening walks and is allowed to sleep in the master's bedroom. And, when the two of them are together, let loose, the cat's superiority is gone. The dog chases the cat and frightens her to the hilt. Sadistic pleasure at the plight of the cat by the dog is rampantly obvious.

I guess all this is pretty natural. But then, what shocks me, are the eyes of the cat. The happiness is gone. She is sad. When the dog goes out for a walk with her master, the cat's eyes make that desperate plea. She is silent these days. No longer does she run around the house. She simply sits in the sofa, mourning. I really feel sorry for her. But then, as always, she needs to learn to share and the younger sibling, the dog, needs to accomodate her too.

Emotions are truly universal.

PS: I being, a paying guest in the house, cannot do much. However, I would like to dedicate this post to that cat.

Human Relationships... Revisited.

This post is dedicated to Hesam, and a few others, for providing me with important lessons.

Human relationships, an enigma and a long journey for life. At the very outset, the author clarifies that relationships do NOT necessarily mean only those of a romantic nature. It doesn't mean anything. Have you ever wondered about the people in your circle of life? What makes them special and what makes them different from the numerous acquaintances in your life?

Do you have people in your life who would do "anything" for you, because you are you. What moves the world? What makes people be there for you in those moments of despair, frustration, joy, bliss and overwhelming happiness? It is an altogether different issue that no one can truly share one's happiness and sorrows, due to the limited experiences and abilities to empathise.

If you look at it, there are so many different kinds of human relationships and interactions. However, two broad classifications do exist.

#1. Divine incarnates

These people are the guardians of our life. They love us deeply for what we are. Our happiness matters most to them. They are there, everytime, we need them. They do their best in ensuring the well-ness of our being. They do not mind "giving" all the time. They never let us be alone. Their prayers, wishes, blessings, are always with us. If you look back, we cannot "give" anything in return to compensate in even a small "unvulgar" manner their magnanimous gestures. It is like a bonding for life and they are veritably incarnations of the divine or energy or vibrations or the hidden hand or the force.

The people in these classification would be the Divine itself, our guru's, our parents, our siblings, and all our teachers. Often, in these relationships, since we keep "taking" all the time, we can but hope to give our respect, gratitude and love to them. For e.g., what does a guru do to you? He/she helps you in your journey, by giving you all that he/she has. The only thing he/she expects is that you do not misuse the invaluable lessons. I bow down to all of them.

#2 An eye for an eye

Mahatma Gandhi, the father of the Indian nation, had once said, "If everyone were to practice an eye for an eye, then there would be no more eyes in the world." He had meant it at the macroscopic level of a nation, and it was more negative because of the varied killings in the name of hatred. But the author has firmly come to believe in this theory, so very well expounded by my dear friend Hesam, at the micrsoscopic level of the self.

When it comes to relationships, that are not in #1, it has to be this way. He calls it the 50% rule. Some say it is like a bank deposit (where you can withdraw only after you deposit). My guru calls it the feedback rule (positive feedback attracts positive, negative feedback attracts negative, a case of like attracts like). The author calls it an eye for an eye. The crux is the same.

Just like two hands need to clap, two souls need to sustain the relationship. Both need to evince an interest in maintaining it. As long as there is mutual respect and affection, it should be fine. Most relationships stand the test of the time, when the two people are physically apart. The big question is "Can you still be friends for life with them". As a simple case, how would it be when you keep calling the other person all the time, and not receive any from him/her. Extend this case to emails and all kinds of informal/formal communications.

Look at the people in your life. Count them. You would be shocked to know as to how small a number that can be. My dear friend, count your blessings and do everything possible to maintain the relationship. If you need to call, then go ahead and call them up. A friendly "hope all is fine with you" email can do wonders. Be there, as that support and that shoulder to lean upon when they need you. Leave them as they are. If they are having a great time, then try to share their happiness. If they are having a bad time, then be a patient listener and try to empathise.

PS: I know that there are so many books on personal relationships. However, you never really get to understand them, until you experience them in your own special ways, do you?

PS2: I have been so lax and negligent when it comes to sustaining relationships. Even though my wishes would be with them, I would never wish them. I have a lot to learn when it comes to human relationships. Thank you, appa; for always driving this point in.

PS3: I do not know as to where the concept of a soulmate or life-partner fits in. When the time comes to cross the bridge across forever, it shall be done.

Libraries...

This post is dedicated to all the libraries that have been there for me. Be it, a small room with an old man keeping track of old books in Madurai, the Murugan Lending Library of Adyar, Madras fame, the umpteen school libraries, BITS, TAMU, and now the Cottage Grove Public Library.

#1. Have you ever got lost in a library, bewildered at the assortment of books around?

#2. Have you ever picked a book, totally on an impulse, and ended up not reading it too?

#3. Have you ever experienced the excitement of a child when you come across a book you have been wanting to read all along?

#4. Have you ever wondered as to how life would be without libraries?

#5. Have you ever thought as to which option would be better - selfishly owning a few books, or, having a book be embraced and experienced by many more readers, courtesy a library?

Americanness I - Coffee...

A series of posts - complementary to the Indianness articles, about life in America. Does the concept Americanness exist.

I must admit when it comes to my ignorance about the delights of various types of coffee. Having been brought up in a family with "filter coffee" as the norm, all these talks of cappuccino, frappuccino, latte, mocha, machiato, espresso, and the likes were confusing. There was that fear of public ridicule for not knowing the basic stuff about coffee. Heeding the recommendations of friends, willingness and daringness to try out new varieties, prompted me to simply go ahead and give them all a sip.

Starbucks, with its presence everywhere, in the US was, is and would be the experiment station. This is not to mean that India wouldn't have offered me the means to sample such varieties at Barista's and Coffee Day outlets. Let it suffice, that the author was not in a position to experiment then. Since the experiments are being conducted in US, this post is being included under the section "Americanness". Purists might claim that coffee is not american. That way, there is nothing called American - for US is veritably a country of immigrants that has embraced many cultures and traditions to come up with its unique blend. Further, agreed that most of the terms and coffee varieties are of italian origin.

So, the bottomline is, out of fear for what others think about our ignorance, we might not end up clarifying. So, ignorance just piles up and at times, it does become late to go back and ask. But then, I did finally summon the courage to ask a petite barista of the fairer sex (beautiful can also be an adjective to further qualify the lady), as to what these varieties meant and how different they really were. She was kind and courteous enough to reply. Moroever, she added that it was their duty to enlightenten the world (read people like me) about coffee.

Cappuccino is 1/3rd foam, 1/3rd espresso and 1/3rd milk. Latte contains more milk and less froth than cappuccino. Frappuccino is truly american Starbuck's version of frozen cappuccino. Mocha includes cocoa. Espresso is the pure shot. People who serve coffee are known as Barista's. There is a Barista club. Barista's are commanded to take pride in being Barista's. There is this exact temperature and pressure to be applied to make the espresso. How a lower temperature might end up making it sweet and the higher temperature sour, or vice versa (not really sure).

The post on the Indian Coffee can be found here.

The Bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki....

Please do not be surprised with this seeping in of a post with heavy political overtones. The thought for this post came up after a discussion over lunch with my American colleagues.

Imagine this.

You are a young child, say a teenager. You have a debate at school. You are asked to defend the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki on a purely rational basis. What would you do?

Having been brought up in India, this same topic would have assumed an altogether different angle. What makes it harder for the American children, is their need to justify the savage act of their previous generations. The war reached such horrendous proportions, that at that point of time, hurting the enemy in any manner was an acceptable solution.

How would a German justify what the Nazi's did to the Jews. How would a Spaniard/Portuguese justify the horrendous acts of his/her forefathers with the rape of Latin America. How would a Japanese justify the rape of China? How would one justify the aftermath of the Partition of India? How would one justify the slavery and harsh treatment meted out towards Africa? Infact, how can anyone justify the acts of the imperialists, dictators and terrorists?

Well, no justifications, whatsoever. Have you ever thought of this? The world has never been peaceful. There has always been a simmer of discontent, violence and war. It is no different now from what it had been all this while.

We need to find that peace and harmony amidst all chaos.

The Importance of Sinning....

How does one know what to avoid without getting burnt once?

From the lust, dawns the love.

From laziness, comes the dynamism.

From the profane, comes the sacred.

From the cynic, comes the sensitive soul.

From the rejection of the self, comes the acceptance of the self.

From the base metals, comes the gold.

From the pain, comes the ecstacy.

From the impure, comes the pure.

From the sin, emerges the virtue.

The circle of life - a complete circle.

PS: Getting burnt is a process in itself.

One need not stop with just one experience.

Not all experiences are the same.

We just get cooked better the next time.

Bournvita....

White....

The definition of pure white.

The play of colors - snow with the dark wood.

The game of hide and seek.

A beautiful day in paradise.

A fairy tale.

Madras...

The city you might very well fall in love with. Nothing spectacular about the city. Yet, charmingly seductive in every possible manner. If you hate it, please do re-consider your decision. Everything in the world deserves a second chance.

Elliot's beach, Kapaleeswar Temple, Parrys Corner, Saravana Bhawan, Adyar Ananda Bhawan, Spencers, Mount Road, Gemini, L.S.S., PTC, 29C, Landmark, December Season, P S Senior, Luz Corner, Ranganathan Street, Nalli's, Marina Beach, TTK Road, Music Academy, LB Road, Adyar Signal, Cooum, Murugan Lending Library, Valluvar Kottam, IIT Madras, Raj Bhawan, Sathyam Theater, Vijaya Stores, Madras Central, Kalakshetra, East Mada Street, Marundeeswar Temple, Thiruvanmiyur, "1 Express", Velachery, Tidel Park, Egmore, Cancer Institute, ICF, Avadi, Ambattur Industrial Estate, Guindy, Tambaram, Alaipayuthey, Electric trains, Adyar Bakery, Madisar Mami, Iyer, Iyengar, Street Cricket, Chepauk, India vs. Pakistan, Light house, Mahabalipuram, Nanganallur, Sapthagiri Express, Trisulam, Meenambakkam, Nungambakkam, ATP Gold Flake Open, Palimar, Traffic Jams, Theosophical Society, Banyan Tree, Narada Gana Sabha, Summer Season, Kancheepuram Sarees, Jasmine flowers, Two leaves, Rising Sun, Dravidan Politics, TN Express, Stella Maris, Madras Book Fair, Pori, Kadalai, Veg. Puffs, Coaching Classes, Masilamani Street, KSR, Santhanam, Govi, Balsu, TRS, DOTE, Aavin Park, Sathya Studio, Ranga Road, Rex Fashions, Krishna Cafe, Narasu's Coffee, Leo Coffee House, Sangeetha's, Water Lorries, Telugu Ganga Project, "Hot, Hotter, Hottest", Cyclones, and what not.

The lonely crusader....

We are all alone in this journey called life, seeking answers to our very own questions. At times the questions themselves change. However, the answers are never the same at any point of time. Every person's experiences are unique and each face has a story to tell worthy of respect. No matter what the connectivity is between two souls, it is indeed difficult to share happiness and pain of a person. No one can truly share both of them. A harsh statement but perfectly true in almost every sense.

Important people at times cause hurt in our lives because of this very expectation from them - that they can and should share our happiness and pain. Deep down, that expectation is there. It is best not to expect anything from anyone; no matter how special or important they might be in our lives. I suppose this approach would work out the healthiest in all relationships - be it between mother and son, father and daughter, sister and brother, friend and a friend, soulmates(?), husband and wife, and what not.

Solitude becomes the most cherished, and yet painful possession for all of us. Yes, we are all alone! Our experiences are limited and what the important people in our lives can do for us is also limited. The same holds for what we can do for them. However, the joy of living is a blessing, and it is our foremost and the most important reason for existence. This is not being selfish. If we are happy, people in our lives are also happy. As Paulo says in his book, "By the River Piedra, I sat down and wept",

"Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest. Our magic moment helps us to change and send us off in search of our dreams. Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments - but all of this is transitory; it leaves no permanent remark. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken."